“What do you do when you realize that although you many have years of history, and found real value in each other in times past, that you kind of don’t like a friend anymore? That, after time spent with this person, you feel drained, empty, belittled or insulted. My father always used to tell me that, ‘you can’t make new old friends.’ How do you distinguish if someone in your life makes you change for the better of if you are better off without them?”
Speculation ran amok, with many believing that Madonna was the subject of the quote. Though Paltrow’s rep denied a Madonna feud, this wouldn’t the first time that she expressed friendship issues with the press. A few months back, she also used GOOP to write the following angry passage, which many speculated was about Winona Rider:
“Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and happiness.”
I have a few general thoughts about this. First, complaining about your friendships is for your therapist’s consumption, not the public’s. Second, if I were in fact your therapist, I might say something like, “if you find yourself always fighting with your friends, consider the possibility that you are the problem – not your friends.” (Come to think of it, I am way too judgmental to be a therapist.) And lastly, your GOOP newsletter is supposed to be positive, not an online journal for your angry outbursts.