Jessica Biel Eats Burgers — And I’m the President

Can actresses everywhere stop pretending that they can eat burgers and stay a size two?  In a recent interview, the very in shape Jessica Biel discussed her workout routine, and added that she often messes up and eats burgers, french fries, and turkey chili.  To be a leading lady in the industry, you have to appeal to both men and women, so it certainly doesn’t help to do interviews about how you eat burgers while running on the treadmill.  Because we are very high-brow here at The Dishmaster, I’d like to ask an expert if it’s possible to eat such disgusting foods, and still look like Jessica Biel.  So I turned to my gigantic ass, and it has confirmed that this is not possible.  There you have it.  My ass has spoken.

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