Attention Tabloids: Stop Calling Jessica Simpson Fat
Here’s my new policy: unless you have any creative endeavors in the pipeline, tabloid magazines should refrain from reporting about your goings-on. That includes Jessica Simpson, who constantly makes the rags solely because of her weight gain. And just when you get a breather from those unflattering photos, you get highly airbrushed pictures of Simpson on the covers of non-tabloid magazines, discussing how comfortable she is with her body. I’m sick of it. I don’t care that she’s comfortable with her “curves,” nor do I care that she has them. In fact, I like her gigantic boobies and ass, and I found myself highly depressed when she was in Dukes of Hazzard, because I thought, if Jessica Simpson can get down to a size zero in less than three months, I should be able to accomplish the same. Unfortunately, my ass never met the challenge. Summation? Leave the girl alone, and get some new people to pick-on.