The Dishmaster

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America’s Next Top Model — Does Tyra Banks Show-Up the Contestants?

Written by , Posted in General

Everyone knows that the true purpose of America’s Next Top Model is for Tyra Banks to out-hot every girl in America. Each show often consists of photo-shoot competitions, which begin with a picture of Tyra followed by a picture of every contestant. I’m surprised the contestants don’t cry when they see Tyra’s picture. An example of this can be seen in the intro below, which includes Tyra in a tight yellow leotard doing some sexy poses. She’s followed by each contestant also trying to do sexy poses — only they’re not sexy. I’d like to note that I also put on my tight yellow leotard and attempted to duplicate these moves in the privacy of my own home. It didn’t go well.

 

  • Sammyscott

    OK firstly the problem with your clip is they’ve given the models a makeup job that makes them all look like replicants from Blade Runner which didn’t work for Darryl Hannah and doesn’t work for them – it’s just creepy.

    Moreover, the intention is that she out-hot the models. The outcome is that she is now known as this bi-polar psycho who really needs straight-jacketing until she learns the lack of even slight importance in what she does, sells or even is.

    • Don’t you secretly want to fondle her boobies?

      • Sammyscott

        I think your reputation for maturely considered reportage just went through the roof.

        • So you admit it! You want to touch her boobs!!

          • Sammyscott

            I feel like touching her boobs is an act of intimacy that she would not respond to without pulling that, “What the hell are you thinking with that?”, with the raised eyebrow and jaw-dropped gawp.

            I imagine I’d fair better with a grudge fuck…but I still think I’d have to face a panel of homosexuals who wanted to tell me what I had done wrong right after.

          • Perhaps the kinky side of you would enjoy that? Besides, what’s wrong with
            a little constructive criticism?

          • Sammyscott

            Imagine that…
            Me: Oh yeah, it’s your birthday!
            Critic 1: It’s not her birthday. She’s doesn’t like it.
            Me: Would you shut the fuck up!
            Tyra: Don’t you raise your voice at them! They are my people!
            Me: I wanna go home now.
            Tyra: Get back in the game! You a fighter! Come on now!
            Me: I think I just lost my erection.
            Tyra: You lost more than that. You lost yourself.
            Me: Seriously, let me the fuck out of here before I call the cops on you. It’s like snow black and the 7 gays in here.

          • I hope little children don’t read this. That’s too funny to delete though.

  • Alex

    Comparison of Dishmaster vs Tyra Banks.

    1. I can and have fantasized about Trya’s boobs and do…. moreso during lent.
    2. Dishmaster should not be envious of hotness, in Hollywood its no different than any other currency.
    3. Life in the modeling world is all about competition,didn’t Zoolander teach you anything.

  • NoComment

    That video is an advertisement for an ethnically diverse whorehouse. I hate it when they leave the prices off the menu…

    • If that’s the case I’ll buy Tyra. She’ll probably bite me head off after
      like a praying mantis. I might like it.