The Dishmaster

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Howard Stern is on Vacation — Goodbye August — & September?

Written by , Posted in General

When I discovered that Howard Stern is on vacation for the second week in a row in August, I became infuriated. How am I supposed to get through my work day without him? And before you insist that it’s unproductive to listen to the radio while working, I’d like to remind you disrespectful lunatics that I passed the bar exam (on the the first try) while listening to Stern all day, and there is no better judge of productivity than that. And now — time for my rant.

While it’s true that Stern is the only entertainer at his level that is still forced to work terrible hours, I still take issue with his consistent absences. First, he never announces them, which leads to intense disappointment when I grab my morning coffee and turn on my radio. Second, his replacement programming sucks. Why won’t he play his best interviews while he’s on vacation? Instead, he plays old shows that aren’t nearly as good as his newer stuff.

When a fan recently complained to Stern about his excessive vacation schedule, Stern responded with, “Then you gotta cancel your service. I will never rip you off. If you feel dissatisfied with the amount of shows I’m doing you should absolutely leave the company and leave the service….I will always be honest with my fans…I hope you stay with us, but if you don’t c’est la vie.”

I’m sure the fan in question will not in fact cancel his service — and neither will I. After all, isn’t something better than nothing? Isn’t it better to have 20% of someone than 0% of them? I have to take a step back from that philosophy to remind myself that it is the same sordid analysis I used while recently dating an emotionally unavailable man. So Stern — if you’re reading this — I want 100% of you.

  • Pete

    Yea, it stinks.  But nothing we can do I guess. Can’t force him to work more.   Now, I end up having to have e books in my car because they might come in handy. 

  • Atblackard

    You’re wrong waaaay wrong! Howard needs to hang it up damn 3/4 day schedules and spends the bulk of his newer shows crying and bitching. Let’s see uber rich barely works gorgeous wife what is he whining about? King of all media cry’s like Queen of all media over the smallest comments made about him when he rips others to shreds. Been a fan since ’90 love all that he’s accomplished but his new selective PC Hamptons style attitude is weak, what happened to “50,000 watts of the fifth grade”? Remember how he would fight and claw at management like the underdog? Well he’s on top now and turns that energy on his own crew whining and complaining BOOOOOOOO!

    • No way — his show is the best it’s ever been — excessive vacations or not.

      • Atblackard

        Well then you’re easy to please Dishmaster, but personally when you only do maybe 10-14 shows a month I don’t want to hear a few hours wasted crying about how a former employee wants to ride his bike cross country and it’s not even funny. Hes starting to live up to a stereotype of half his genetics and being a bitter naysayer the same way my uncles do with alcohol and being Irish haha.

        • Atblackard

          OK one more rant- WTF is up with bagging on lady Gaga for weeks (most of it accurate and hilarious) and then having her on kissing her ass and acting like the ladies on the view?!?! Then playing the interview over and over and over and patting himself on the back for it continuously, in his decades of career that interview was no big deal compared to others….Denise Richards last was much more interesting but they didn’t throw a parade over that one…

          • You are absolutely nuts. That bike riding rant has to be my favorite bit in the history of the show. It reminded me of something my Jewish father would berate me for, and I laughed so hard I had to drink water. As for Lady Gaga, I didn’t like the interview — but there’s no harm in bashing someone and then subsequently interviewing them. It’s more a knock on her decision than his. Plus, she’s relevant and what’s wrong with interviewing someone you possibly dislike?

          • Edruzzo

            Because no one relevant will be a guest. She was the first a-lister in years. A-list don’t need stern, and gaga didn’t need stern, she lowered herself. It’s a show for those on their way down.

  • ambulance chaser

    F stern , show sux now , hes been Paid no need for a good show , he used to give a good show only in hopes of a big pay day , now thats happened so the J says F the fans , i say F Howie

  • Edruzzo

    I cancelled after 15+ years, and day one with Sirius. I won’t pay for those crap best of shows I already heard 10 times. And those commercials are worst then free radio, now I was paying to be aggravated. He should have quit so Sirius could develop new talent. Howard is yesterday’s news good riddance.

  • Eric Bedner

    Howard Stern is the greatest entertainer of all time.  I am happy to get him anyway I can.

  • GTR

    Finally someone mentioned this he makes the argument that he didn’t have to resign at all but then he shouldn’t have if he is never going to be on he should retire (although I would hate that) and just go enjoy his money which we pay him. Get off that stupid 2nd rate variety shoe he judges (he’s got nothing left to prove) and get on the radio or just go off into the night.I listen to him complain about staying up until 11:00 pm but then he doesn’t even come in the next day after complaning.I work hard for my money like everyone and I don’t need Sirius other than for Stern.It was 4 days than 3 then 2 and now it’s intermittent at best.He’s got every right to do what he wants but it becomes a matter of respect to his listeners who have made him a fortune and it’s time to @#@#@ or get off the Squatty Potty