The Dishmaster

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November 2013

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Alec Baldwin Under Fire — Leave the King of Comedy Alone

Written by , Posted in General

ALEC BALDWINI don’t know about you, but when my top’s about to blow, I definitely take the time to really think about insulting my opponent with the most class possible. It’s too bad Alec Baldwin lacks my lucky gift, especially when being accosted by vulturous photographers. After all, it’s okay to say the “F” word, as long as it’s not THAT “F” word.

And if you missed the made-for-TV take-down, Baldwin verbally berated a photographer who harassed him and his wife (newborn baby in tow), calling him a “c—k-sucking f****t.” Baldwin later claimed that his contentious remark was actually, “fathead,” which prompted GLAAD to explain that his adjective (that’s an adjective right?) was equally offensive. Baldwin’s daughter, Ireland Baldwin, has since come to his defense, explaining that her father is far from homophobic.

While I certainly don’t condone hateful speech, I also know that if you poke the bear, you should not be surprised when he uses his insult arsenal to rip off your head. Furthermore, this story should also focus on enacting anti-paparazzi laws to protect not only celebrities, but their families, and the innocent bystanders that get caught in the crossfire. Alec Baldwin’s talent is a gift, and I would prefer to get that gift as long as I can. If the public continues to pounce on this man, he’ll go away quietly, and I’ll be punished. Perhaps it’s time to get to the root of the problem, instead of just watering the poisonous plant.

EDITOR’S NOTE: THE DISHMASTER DOES NOT NOW, NOR HAVE I EVER, PUBLISHED PAPARAZZI PICTURES. THIS IS WHY. I’D ENCOURAGE MY PEERS TO FOLLOW SUIT.