The Dishmaster

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December 2013

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Britney Spears Releases ‘Britney Jean’ — A FULL REVIEW

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There’s no bigger Britney Spears fan than The Dishmaster, but ‘Britney Jean’ is an unfortunate misfire. For a hit-making monster diva, there’s only two catchy tunes, which is shocking. As for the rest, the tempo is too low for treadmill tracks, and any club tunes will require a massive remix.

When Spears declared it the “most personal album yet,” I was intrigued. And though the lyrics are likable, the melodies are not. There’s a plethora of malcontents that are panning this record with lots of detailed jargon about Britney’s lack of talent, and the machinery that manages her success. I won’t do any of that. I don’t care that she’s a produced pop-tart with a limited vocal range. She gets handed the best material, and I like to listen to her while I’m cleaning my apartment. Does it matter that she’s part of a powerhouse team? Not to me. It matters that she makes hits. And there just aren’t enough on this record.

Listen to one of her better tracks, ‘Perfume,’ below.