Girls’ Episode 3.07 — TEENIE WEENIE GREEN BIKINI

Lena Dunham is taunting me. When asked about her excessive on-air nudity by a journalist at the Television Critics Association , Dunham’s defense was, “It’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive, I think, and I totally get it. If you’re not into me, that’s your problem, and you’re going to have to kind of work that out with whatever professionals you’ve hired.”

In episode seven of season three, Dunham spent most of time in a far-too-small tiny bikini, which was worn while strutting around on open streets, at house parties, and during fights with her friends (none of which involved a throw). In fact, there are moments where the camera seems to be deliberately placed in the most unflattering angles possible.

As for Dunham’s insistence that this is a “realistic expression,” I must strongly object. Based on personal beach experience, nearly every girl I know has a throw, and those girls often ask the chicks beside them if their cellulite seems noticeable under the sun. To take it a step further, many of my friends and fellow beach goers wait until they are completely flat on the sand in the most flattering position possible before disrobing. This behavior has empirically applied to about 75% of all women I’ve come in contact with throughout my life, no matter what their shape or size. While that might be a sad and pathetic revelation, it’s a REALISTIC revelation. Lena Dunham’s fierce self-confidence is extremely admirable, trail-blazing, trend-setting, and praiseworthy. But it’s NOT realistic.

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