1. Howard Stern — He’s a radio legend, but Stern himself has complained about network restrictions, and the man is at his best in a free-spoken format. Plus, if it ain’t broke . . .
2. Chelsea Handler — Chelsea is too niche a host to survive in a prime-time format. She’s certainly a strong choice, but her mass appeal is questionable.
3. Craig Ferguson — Not funny enough (sorry, Craig).
4. Chris Rock — Much like Howard Stern, this format is far too restrictive for Rock’s imagination.
5. Louis C.K. — Maybe. But probably not.
6. Conan — One and done. His brand became tarnished with the late-night debacle, and his opportunity on the main stage is now compromised.
7. Jay Leno — NO. JUST NO.
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.
*EDITOR’S NOTE: Zach Galifianakis was actually my brother’s idea, but don’t all the best artists steal?