THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Wednesday

5

October 2011

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COMMENTS

Steve Jobs Died — Goodbye, Maestro

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I didn’t know Steve Jobs personally, but it sure felt like I did. In elementary school my teacher asked us to predict how the world would look in the year 2000. Most of us pictured ‘The Jetsons’ and thought we’d have flying cars. That year just seemed so far away at the time. As it turns out, we were drastically far off the mark. No one really executed those noteworthy technological advances we dreamed of as kids. That is — except for Steve Jobs. He had a vision — and he had more to do. But he sure did a lot with the time he had. In honor of the man I will miss as if he were a personal friend, I am re-posting his inspirational commencement speech below.

Monday

3

October 2011

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day: ‘Hung’s’ Thomas Jane

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“Hey, you grow up as an artist in a big city, as James Dean said, you’re going to have one arm tied behind your back if you don’t accept people’s sexual flavors. You know, when I was a kid out here in L.A., I was homeless, I didn’t have any money and I was living in my car. I was 18. I wasn’t averse to going down to Santa Monica Boulevard and letting a guy buy me a sandwich. Know what I mean?” ‘Hung’ Star Thomas Jane on his life as a gay male hook when he first moved to Los Angeles.

Monday

3

October 2011

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COMMENTS

‘Footloose’ 2011 — Movie Review

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This movie never stood a chance. It’s a remake of a fluke hit, and the original story is dated. But it’s a library project owned by Paramount, so the studio stood to gain a substantial amount of money with very little financial investment. Translation? — Greed surpassed creativity. Remakes are easy because the title recognition alone saves a tremendous amount of money marketing the film, and there’s a hope that nostalgia will bring people to the theater. But if you’re gonna do it, do it right.

The biggest problem in this film is the casting. Though Julianne Hough was impressive, Kenny Wormald was an unfortunate miscast. I think he has some serious potential as an actor, and he’s certainly capable. But he was doomed in this role. He’s a nerd in cool-guy clothes, and his lack of chemistry with Julianne Hough made it impossible to believe that a girl like her would ever find him attractive. And speaking of those cool-guy clothes, something went seriously wrong in the wardrobe department. The costume designer took almost every single outfit from the original movie. We aren’t in the 80’s anymore, so if you walk into a school with your collar up today, you’ll likely get picked on for looking ridiculous. Furthermore, Kevin Bacon was considered “cool” in the original story because of his big-city, anti-establishment attitude, which came as a shock to the small town. The only thing anti-establishment about this kid was his Boston accent.

I presume Kenny Wormald landed this role because of his dance background, but given there are only three choreographed dance sequences in the film, I think the old-fashioned rule of cinema applies here — it’s easier to teach an actor to dance than it is to teach a dancer to act. And if they were going to prioritize the dance background, I actually think that when Zac Efron dropped out, Derek Hough should have been hired and Julianne Hough should have been recast (obviously because her real-life brother cannot play her love interest). The male lead is more important than the female lead, and Derek would have been a stellar choice. But that’s neither here nor there.

And to pre-empt your you-like-to-pick-on-the-new-guy attack, I’d like to also point out that Dennis Quaid was another unfortunate miscast. Sure this movie needed some star power to lend it some big-studio street cred, but Quaid just doesn’t look like an uptight preacher. He’s a proven talent, but even great actors can’t pull off the wrong role. The shoe has to fit before you start to walk in it.

The other issue is that the story is too true to the original film. In fact, with the exception of the iPod use, it’s a carbon copy. The purpose of a remake is to take a great story and modernize it. Remember ‘The Thomas Crowne Affair’ with Pierce Brosnan? It’s the same great story, but it’s nearly unrecognizable compared to the Steve McQueen version. Without a new spin, it would make more creative and financial sense to re-release the original. I think Craig Brewer (the director) should have substantially changed the original story, or at least changed the clothes. For goodness sakes, the kid even drove the same car.

But despite the trouble, I’d still say the movie is enjoyable enough to watch. There just aren’t enough cheesy films out there, and this fits the bill.

OVERALL RATING: 2/5 DISHES

Sunday

2

October 2011

1

COMMENTS

‘Arrested Development’ Returns to Television — God Exists!

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I’ve always argued that if a television show is on a major network and the ratings are consistently poor, then the comedy isn’t strong enough. When I make this argument to ‘Arrested Development’ fans, I fear for my life. The show won six Emmys in three years, and yet the ratings never reflected its critical acclaim. Since it got the axe, fans everywhere have begged for its return, and now — it appears they got their wish. Series creator Mitch Hurwitz announced that he hopes to do 10 more episodes in preparation for a film. I hope that’s true, though I have to say I highly doubt it. Why? — Because getting a show on television requires a plethora of elements that make it nearly impossible, and it therefore takes a lot more than a general commitment to make it happen. Plus, I’ve heard for years that Michael Serra was dragging his feet on committing to the film. Here’s hoping I’m wrong.

Sunday

2

October 2011

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COMMENTS

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore Split Up? — Twitter Thinks So

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Want to know how to get the press off your back? — Release a statement which explicitly denies a tabloid report. In the case of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher — neither party has taken this mature route, and they have instead released cryptic messages on twitter that border on annoying. Ashton linked to a song entitled, ‘Don’t believe The Hype,’ Demi Moore posted a strange picture of herself with her eyes closed, and a the words, “I see through you,” and then later quoted some Greek philosopher who said, “When we are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself & study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.” These two should either deny the report or count to ten before tweeting. To be fair though, I have to put my judgmental hat aside and admit that I often use Facebook to take digs at my exes, especially a certain man I recently dated who ripped my heart out and ate it for breakfast. Having said that, I will dodge the hypocrisy accusations with one simple fact — I’m not famous — and I don’t have a publicist that should be monitoring my electronic behavior.

Saturday

1

October 2011

1

COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review — Who Knew?

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  • Derek Hough and Lauren Conrad might be a couple.  E! Online
  • Elizabeth Hurley is engaged to Australian cricketeer boyfriend Shane Warne. PopSugar
  • Mike Myers is officially a dad to a baby boy named Spike. RealityTVWorld
  • Sarah Gilbert and Kris Jenner teared up while discussing their previous relationships on The Talk. AOL TV
  • Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds reunited at a Radiohead concert. Us Magazine
  • David Arquette is dating Joe Francis’ ex-wife, Christina McLarty. Ear Sucker
  • Crystal Harris auctioned off Hugh Hefner’s engagement ring. SheKnows
  • George Clooney brought Stacy Keibler to the Ides of March premiere. Celebitcy
  • Naomi Watts opened up about her relationship with Heath Ledger. Socialite Life
  • Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler might be on-again. Celebuzz
  • ‘X-Men’s’ James Marsden and his wife of 10 years are divorcing. PopCrunch
  • ‘Kiss’ frontman and eternal lady chaser, Gene Simmons, is married. People

Thursday

29

September 2011

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COMMENTS

Jason Alexander Has a Toupee? — HUH?!

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Did Jason Alexander have a talk with Jeremy Piven about toupee’s or something? I have absolutely no idea why the guy would decide after all these years to put fake hair on his head, especially considering the entire world knows him as the very bald George Costanza. Isn’t this akin to an actress getting gigantic breast implants after living a public life with a flat chest? And speaking of George Costanza, I’ve attached the Seinfeld clip below, where Elaine rips his toupee off his head and throws it out the window. Perhaps she can crash a red carpet and do him the same favor twice. For purposes of nostalgia and laughter, watch the clip below.

Tuesday

27

September 2011

2

COMMENTS

Quote of the Day: LeAnn Rimes’ Dig on Eddie Cibrian’s Ex-Wife

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“Eddie has always encouraged me to look at us as a family, and a part of our family are the two beautiful boys that we share with their mother and hopefully one day another wonderful man.” LeAnn Rimes’ intentional dig at Eddie Cibrian’s ex-wife, Brandi Glanville, suggesting that not only does she think of Brandi’s children as “her own,” but she also hopes that Brandi will find another husband sometime soon. Just as a reminder to LeAnn — Brandi had a husband — and you took him.

Tuesday

27

September 2011

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COMMENTS

Patti Stanger Insults Gays and Jews

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Not only is Patti Stanger a bad matchmaker, but she’s also an insensitive prick and borderline bigot. When a gay man called into Andy Cohen’s show asking Stanger how to find a serious relationship, she said, “there’s no curbing the gay,” and insisted that gay men are incapable of monogamy. That statement was then followed by another caller who said she often finds men who “tell her what she wants to hear,” at which point Stanger said, “are they Jewish?” When Cohen asked her to clarify, Stanger said, “Jewish men lie.” Excuse me? It’s no secret that The Dishmaster is Jewish, and it’s also no secret that I have no tolerance for bigoted jokes founded on stereotypes. And as an aside, the “lying thing” is not even a stereotype — it’s straight up trash-talk. And can Ms. Stanger please send me the statistics on her matchmaking success? Because if you throw enough sh*t at the wall — something might stick. But she doesn’t get credit for that — the sh*t does.

Tuesday

27

September 2011

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COMMENTS

David Arquette Gives a Howard Stern Shout-Out on DWTS

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If you watched David Arquette’s jive last night on Dancing With The Stars, you might have noticed him say a strange word during his post dance discussion with Brooke Burke. So what is “Baba Booey”? For all the non Howard Stern fans out there, “Baba Booey” is the nickname of Howard Stern’s producer, Gary Deli’Abate, and random Stern fans everywhere often shout out this nickname on national television as a tribute to their radio hero. The best part of Arquette’s shout-out is that Tom Bergeron is also a huge Howard Stern fan, and he quickly followed Arquette’s cue by also saying the nickname. I suppose Arquette took Howard Stern’s recent advice to be “more himself.” Watch the 6:30 mark in the video below to see his tribute.