Welcome to The Dishmaster! If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Silly me. I thought that when Miley Cyrus released her new song, she’d actually be singing. I’m told this is what those crazy kids call “dubstep.” If you don’t know what that is — it’s a fancy way of saying it sounds like shit. Listen below — but before you do — please read some choice lyrics I’ve selected from the song. Here goes:
Decisions, but I want it all so I get it all
I wanna eat the whole cake
I’m not sharing, I’m not sharing
You should have to learn how to bake
To say I’m disappointed with Mariah Carey’s new single and video, would be a massive understatement. She should be reinventing herself, not executing the same tired formula she’s been doing for years. First, every song she writes is about “getting through the rain,” “triumphing through sorrow,” “staying strong.” Is there nothing else in her songwriting bag-of-tricks? Second, why must she flaunt her body in every shot? It appears borderline desperate, and it’s unnecessary at this stage in her career. And lastly, she’s barely singing. Who’s the star of the video? Is it Mariah? Or is it Rick Ross and Meek Mill? Before I end this post, let it be known that I unconditionally love Mariah Carey. That being said, this isn’t good enough.
Taking a note from Green Day’s handbook, Nelly Furtado released a lyric video for her new single, “Parking Lot.” Its good. I imagined myself dancing naked in front of the mirror while listening. Too much information?
“If I saw a guy jumping off a bridge would I try to stop him? No. That guy could be really strong and take me and throw me over the bridge. I wanna live.” Howard Stern on Tony Scott’s suicide and whether he would have done something if he were there.
The only thing clear about the promo for Season 9 of Grey’s Anatomy is that nothing is clear. My guess is that everyone else survives. Why? Because I don’t know any actors that would consent to a guest appearance after not having their contract renewed. Shonda Rimes would have had to terminate them at the end of last season. Watch the ridiculously vague promo below.
We’ve all been manipulated by adults who use their children to ask us favors, knowing that we’ll be less inclined to decline. And predictably, the very annoying Maci Bookout committed that sin on this week’s episode of Teen Mom. I still don’t know how the producers successfully painted her ex as the villain all these seasons when she’s clearly always in the wrong.
For years popular comedians (including my icon — Howard Stern) have bashed Jay Leno, yet I’ve constantly heard from insiders that he’s incredibly good to his staff. And with the news that Leno took a pay cut to save his staff’s jobs in the midst of NBC/Comcast budget cuts, it’s clear that the Leno bashers should give it a rest. Sure he’s got a ton of money and could probably work for free, but it doesn’t matter. It’s an admirable move.
What do you do when you think your husband is cheating? You screw him in the bushes, of course. After ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ star, Theresa Guidice, trailed her husband into the bushes following his mysterious phone call, she bought his horribly executed lie and then pushed him for sex in front of her friends. Needless to say, this show gets classier each year. Watch below.