THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Monday

23

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day: Zach Galifianakis on his January Jones Experience

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” . . . if I remember correctly, she and I were very rude to each other. It was crazy. I was at a party — I’d never met her — and she was like, ‘Come sit down.’ So I sit at her table and talk for ten minutes, and she goes, ‘I think it’s time for you to leave now.’ So I say, ‘January, you are an actress in a show and everybody’s going to forget about you in a few years, so fucking be nice,’ and I got up and left. And she thinks that’s funny?” Zach Galifianakis’ take on his awful January Jones encounter, after recently hearing that she called him “the most naturally funny man she’d ever met.”

Monday

23

May 2011

17

COMMENTS

‘The Hangover’ Director Todd Phillips Insults Howard Stern’s Robin Quivers — Total Jerk!

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‘The Hangover’ director Todd Phillips called Howard Stern today to promote his sequel, and he’s officially on The Dishmaster sh*t-list. First, he sounded exhausted and boring, and second, he took aim at Robin Quivers, saying he was “over her.” When Stern prodded, Phillips said she upsets the rhythm of the show, and she’s “changed for the worse with her constant interruptions.” I’m sure Quivers incited his anger after insulting his film, ‘Due Date,’ saying that no one saw it. When Phillips informed Quivers that the movie made “$200 million” worldwide, Quivers responded with, “from where? Thailand?” Clearly the guy can’t take a joke, because his retaliation was far worse than her original insult. Since I’m a huge fan of both Robin Quivers and Howard Stern, I’d like to tell Todd Phillips to suck it. Also — he should go to bed early the next time he makes a Stern appearance. That might help with his boring disposition.

Sunday

22

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Curb Your Enthusiasm Returns! — Season 8 Promo Released!

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The greatest part of the promo for the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, is when Jeff Garlin calls Larry David a “social assassin.” Some people are moved by shows that involve hospitals or court rooms, but I’m not one of those people. Personally, I’m moved by an angry, Jewish curmudgeon who reminds me that even though I constantly complain, there’s someone out there who is far worse. Watch below!
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Sunday

22

May 2011

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Rihanna & Britney Spears Perform at Billboard Music Awards — Leotards Galore!

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Tonight was a big night for Britney Spears. Though she’s appeared on different shows, she has yet to perform at an awards show since the MTV Video Music Awards debacle. When I first heard she’d be performing at the Billboard Music Awards, I thought it was a tabloid rumor. Then I heard the details, and it immediately became clear. Rihanna carried it, and Britney did a brief, one minute performance. Overall, it was fine. Since I’ve attacked Britney Spears for her recently lack of choreography, I’d like to note that Rihanna’s performance indicates that choreography isn’t essential to success. In fact, all you have to do to entertain the crowd is dress like a whore and gyrate on stage. Oh yeah — and wear a thong while imaginary men reach their hands toward your exposed ass. I’m not a prude, though — I just call it like I see it. Watch their performance below.
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Sunday

22

May 2011

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NBC’s ‘The Voice’ — Vicci Martinez v. Niki Dawson — Best Duet Ever

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Some might say that NBC’s show, The Voice, is “gimmicky” — which it is. After all, the “battle rounds” take place in a boxing ring. Though it’s certainly ridiculous, it’s also one of my favorite new shows on television. In the battle round below, you’ll see Vicci Martinez and Niki Dawson sing Pink’s song, ‘Fu*kin Perfect,’ and Vicci Martinez completely blew me away. I’d like to take this moment to predict her future success, so that if I’m right, I can brag about it for years to come. If I’m wrong . . . well . . . I can always delete the post.
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Sunday

22

May 2011

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Dancing With the Stars’ Hines Ward — NFL’s “Dirtiest” Player

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While catching up on last week’s ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ I thought to myself, “gee, that Hines Ward is such a cuddly teddy bear.  In fact, I just want to hug him and pinch his cheeks.”  Since I don’t know much about him, I decided to do some research.  Turns out, he’s not so cuddly after all.  Two years ago, Ward’s peers voted him the “dirtiest player” in the NFL.  Apparently, he broke the jaw of Bengals’ Keith Rivers, with a “surprise downfield block.” I put that line from Sports Illustrated in quotations, because I have absolutely no idea what it means, so I’m unable to paraphrase.  And in case that annoys you, please make a personal phone call to my father, whose sibling favoritism resulted in my brother’s attendance at every football game.   But enough about me.  Anyways, Ward responded to the criticism by saying, “when I go across the middle, those guys aren’t going to tackle me softly and lay me down to the ground. That’s not football. I find it ironic that now you see a receiver delivering blows, and it’s an issue. But I haven’t changed. I’ve been doing it this way for 11 years.”  Again, I have no idea what “going across the middle” means, but it sounds serious.  Authentic teddy bears are hard to find, I suppose.

Sunday

22

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Weekly Recap

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  • Rachel McAdams & Michael Sheen confirmed their romance.  Celebrific
  • Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler had gay sex, but he didn’t like it.  Gawker
  • January Jones might have been impregnated by a married man.  The Superficial
  • Singer Michael Buble released his wedding pictures. His wife is very hot.  Just Jared
  • Ginnifer Goodwin called off her engagement.  Jezebel
  • Gossip Girl’s Penn Badgley moved on from ex-girlfriend Blake Lively and is reportedly dating Jessica McNamee.  Starpulse
  • Alex Pettyfer is doing some serious PR damage control.  The Frisky

 

Sunday

22

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Ginnifer Goodwin has a “Southern Woman’s Ass” — I Love Her

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In a recent Marie Claire interview to promote her film, Something Borrowed, Goodwin discussed her body image. Of her weight, Goodwin said, “I am genetically predisposed to be a bigger girl than I am. If I didn’t live in Hollywood, I would be. I have very real hips and a real southern woman’s ass.” I don’t know about you, but I love when an actress admits to losing weight for Hollywood. It’s certainly better than trying to convince everyone that your hot body is the result of eating endless pizzas and hamburgers all day. Hats off to Ginnifer Goodwin. And since I love me a curvy girl, here’s hoping she puts on a few pounds sometime soon.

Saturday

21

May 2011

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Saturday

21

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Pink Attacks Selena Gomez for Painting Horses Pink

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You would think that an artist named Pink would enjoy the color theme that Selena Gomez chose for her new video. Perhaps if she painted herself pink instead of horses, she might have been in the clear. As a PETA supporter, Pink said, “If there are any animal activists around Malibu . . . there are horses being painted for a stupid music video. Shame.” Selena Gomez’s team immediately responded to the bad press, saying that the material used to paint the horses is a “non toxic, vegetable based powder paint” and it “was applied via an airbrush and removed with water.” Well, I’m glad Gomez’s people cleared that up. Personally, I love being painted with a non toxic based powder paint and standing in the sun on a hot Los Angeles day. Those animals must have really enjoyed themselves.