THE DISHMASTER

Katherine Heigl addressed her image problems head-on, while promoting her new film. Though I’ve picked on Heigl for “biting the hand that feeds her,” I think her response shows that she’s on the right track.  The truth is that most of what she said in the press was correct.  It all started with Grey’s Anatomy, when Isaiah Washington called T.R. Knight a faggot on set, and the creators brushed it aside, leaving Knight to handle the media bedlam on his own.  Heigl bashed both the show and Washington, in defense of her best friend.  She scored major points with me for doing so, and then quickly squandered my support when she publicly discussed her contract negotiation with Grey’s Anatomy, saying that she called it off because “she wasn’t getting the respect she deserved.”  Everyone knows that you don’t publicly discuss your contract — it’s unprofessional.  To make matters worse, she took herself out of the Emmys, because she didn’t feel that the writing was good enough to warrant an award.  Again, it’s not the best idea to insult your writers, especially since writer fatigue is common on a long-running show, and an actor can’t expect great material for five seasons straight.  She also called Knocked-Up ” sexist,” which didn’t sit well with Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow, who later bashed her on Howard Stern.  Personally, I thought the movie was sexist, but it’s not exactly a press-friendly statement.  So here’s the moral of the Katherine Heigl story — sometimes she’s right and sometimes she’s not.  If the girl could just reign it in a little, instead of becoming a robot that churns out the stereotypical answers in interviews (which I predict we will start to see), she’ll be just fine.  Watch her discuss the issue below.

It’s bad enough that Howard Stern spends his entire life on vacation.  It’s even worse that while he is on vacation, he chooses to play “Howard Stern’s Worst Shows Ever,” for the entire week.  Yesterday he played the “Peacock Years,” which is basically his shitty radio show during his NBC years.  Even Stern himself has admitted that his early shows were terrible, so you would think he would play more recent shows while he’s on vacation.  The man is the King of all celebrity interviews, yet he never airs “the greatest Howard Stern interviews of all-time.”  Instead, I’m forced to listen to these torturous shows.  His voice isn’t even the same.  He used to alter it, and it sounds unbearably nasally.  To make matters worse, when I switch to his other channel, I’m forced to listen to the other shitty radio hosts that were hand-picked by Stern.  Translation? — I’m screwed.  Either give your other channel to a decent radio host (like Adam Carolla) or give me another option for your show.

Remember my post below about celebrities that should not make the press for their bad behavior?  That applies everyone except Courtney Love, whose bad behavior is just so original and interesting.  Courtney Love posted a naked picture of herself on twitter, and the blogosphere erupted with very mean comments about how terrible she looks.  Ordinarily I would feel sorry for her, but she really did look terrible.  If you’re going to post a naked picture, you might as well ensure that you have the proper lighting, because just about everyone can look good in the dark — trust me, I know.  Love’s excuse?  She “accidentally” posted the picture, and it was really intended for her boyfriend.  I would first like to advise Courtney that even your boyfriend deserves good lighting and the proper angle.  I’d also like to point out that her excuse is terrible.  She clearly has “poster’s remorse.”  Also — please come back to twitter — your antics are welcome.

With the news that Lindsay Lohan is “doing well” at her fifth try at rehab, I’d like to officially proclaim that this is my last post dedicated exclusively to her. I would also like to politely ask the Hollywood media to start actually reporting on Hollywood, instead of washed-up actors that are only making the papers because of their bad behavior. It’s true that the girl has a considerable amount of decent movies under her belt at a young age (Parent Trap, Freaky Friday, and Mean Girls), and I appreciate that she’s actually famous for something, unlike Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, who are famous for nothing. Having said that, it’s been a full six years since she’s had a quality role, and until then, I’m declaring a moratorium on Lohan coverage. That includes every Lohan, such as her parents (Michael and Dina Lohan), who are equally guilty for capitalizing on their daughter’s fame. Celebrities should not make money off their terrible behavior. So when Lohan exits rehab and starts selling pictures for thousands of dollars of her “reformed self,” I encourage everyone not to look at them. I will try my best to adhere to my own rule.  I’ve posted a very old picture of Lindsay on the right, to remember the days when she was promoting something positive.

If I wasn’t in love with Jon Stewart before, I certainly am now.  After Rick Sanchez was fired from CNN I was curious if Stewart would dance on his career grave.  Instead, he handled the situation with the utmost tact, and even helped Sanchez in the process.  Stewart suggested that “he’s not even sure Sanchez believed what he was saying,” and then played clips of Sanchez discussing his intolerance for bigots.  He closed with the statement, “Sanchez — consider yourself unbusted.”  I agree with Stewart’s intimation that Sanchez’s diarrhea of the mouth was more about stupidity than any kind of prejudice against Jews.  That being said, CNN should have a higher standard for their “journalists.”

Though I picked on Lisa Rinna in the previous post, I actually like Lisa Rinna. Unlike many Hollywood celebrities, she owns her flaws, and has a good sense of humor about herself. I know this because she often appears on Howard Stern, and when Stern makes fun of her she laughs it off in stride. During her last appearance, he inquired about the status of her upper lip, and she said she has been trying to fix it for years. Apparently, Rinna injected silicone into her lip before modern medicine came up with a better solution, and she has been unable to fix it ever since. On her new reality show, Harry Loves Lisa, she was taped at the doctor’s office, where she tried to reverse the effects. Judging from the picture to the right, it worked. Congratulations to Lisa Rinna for no longer having butt cheeks on her face. Alright, that was mean. I like her — I swear I do.

Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin have officially proven why they quit acting in favor of reality television.  While promoting their new reality show, Harry Loves Lisa, Hamlin answered his cell phone mid-interview, to reveal that their clothing store, Belle Gray, had been robbed.  Lisa feigns shock, in what might be the worst acting job I’ve ever seen.  My guess is that their store was actually robbed recently, and they thought it might be good for their show to act as if the robbing occurred during the interview.  After all, isn’t it defamation to mention a security company by name as being “terrible?”  But then again — all press is good press.  Watch below.

Many celebrities love to talk about their relationships in the press, presumably because if your significant other is famous, it’s two for the price of one, which basically guarantees a tabloid mention.  Below are a list of culprits.

Vanessa Minnillo & Nick Lachey — In a recent interview with Parade Magazine Vanessa Minnillo said that she and Nick Lachey shower together twice a day, because they like to talk while they are “soaping up and doing their hair.”  Call me a killjoy, but is there anything interesting about the thought of these two gossiping in the shower like school-girls? Some things are better kept in the relationship vault.

Hilary Swank – Hilary Swank exposed Chad Lowe’s drug addiction to Vanity Fair after they divorced. Lowe wasn’t pleased with her disclosure, saying he was “disappointed that the details of [his] relationship became public.” But that wasn’t the first time Swank revealed unnecessary relationship details. When discussing her new boyfriend, she said that she often walks around naked in front of his six year old son. Perhaps she can join Nick and Vanessa in the shower.

Angelina Jolie — You would think that Angelina Jolie learned her lesson after carrying around Billy Bob Thornton’s vile of blood. Though she’s tempered the crazy, she still discusses her relationship in the press. Her most abhorrent disclosure involves Brad Pitt, when she said she would love for her children to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith because, “not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.” The problem? — Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and Aniston was unaware of their connection. Aniston later said that it was “completely uncool” for Angelina to discuss it, and then retracted her statement after it caused a press frenzy.

Leann Rimes — Leann Rimes and Eddie Cibrian cheated on their spouses with each other, and both enjoy publicizing their relationship on twitter. Why? — Because if you’re going to cheat on your husband or wife, why not rub it in?

On today’s episode of The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck complained about the inappropriate commercials that air during football, because she likes to watch the game with her young children.  Nothing pleases me more than picking on Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who unequivocally supports the Republican party, no matter what the issue.   As Jon Stewart said during his infamous Crossfire interview, that kind of mentality is “bad for America.”  Having explained my bias, I will now begin my Hasselbeck attack.  No commercial is more violent or disturbing for a young child than the game of football itself.  Perhaps she should ban her young children from watching the giant men in tights crash into each other instead of worrying about Viagra commercials.  Watch her explanation below at the 21 minute mark.

If you have watched Glee since the beginning, you would know that the show used to actually have a plot.  Because it exploded in popularity, Ryan Murphy (the creator) started to do tributes, such as Madonna, Lady Gaga, and Britney Spears.  Though I support anything related to Britney Spears, the tributes have drastically watered-down the plot, which has now become secondary to the music.  Sure, the music is great, but even Broadway musicals have story-lines.  Rumor has it that a Bruce Springsteen tribute is next, and I’m already bored.  It’s time to get back to the writing.