THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Monday

14

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

‘The View’ Discusses Joe Paterno — Makes No Sense

Written by , Posted in General

There’s only one sane person on The View, and that’s Whoopi Goldberg. When discussing the Joe Paterno scandal, Sherri Shepherd indicated that Joe Paterno is not a “bad person,” because  he’s not the one who engaged in the child abuse. Um — Did Sherri Shepherd drink the crazy juice today? This was followed up by the even crazier Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s assertion that it’s “unfortunate” that Joe Paterno’s legacy will be about what he didn’t do instead of all the good he’s done. Who are these clowns on The View? I’d write a long statement about what constitutes evil, but it’s unnecessary. I’d rather just bash the ladies of The View. Watch the exchange below, and feel free to fast forward through Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s mundate account of the one thing she remembered from her high school psychology class.


 

 

Sunday

13

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Kris Jenner Cheated on Robert Kardashian — Let the Book Sales Begin!

Written by , Posted in General

At what point will the Kardashians realize they have crossed the fame-whore line? Do they even understand their own “reality” at this point? As part of Kris Jenner’s book promotion, she disclosed having cheated on her late husband, Robert Kardashian. Of the affair, Jenner said, “his name was Ryan, and he was a producer. We had wild sex everywhere, all the time.” Wow — it sounds like she really regrets it. If Robert Kardashian were alive, I imagine he wouldn’t be pleased with such a public revelation of a painful time. And since her children are alive to see this morally-inept behavior, I wonder if they’re okay with their mother publicly admitting to having cheated on their father. I understand that when you write a book about your life, honesty is important. That being said, something tells me that when Kris Jenner sat down with her publisher, the conversation went something like this: “Hey, Kris. What juicy gossip can you disclose to sell more books?” “Oh! I cheated on my ex-husband! Isn’t that wonderful!? We have something great to write about!”

Sunday

13

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Howard Stern to Replace Piers Morgan on ‘America’s Got Talent’? — Bad Idea

Written by , Posted in General

Howard Stern’s insane success and career longevity is largely due to knowing his limitations. So when I heard that he’s in talks to replace Piers Morgan on ‘America’s Got Talent,’ I became immediately bothered. Sure it’s a good gig that pays a lot, and he’d likely be great at it. But he has an identifiable brand to uphold, and if he starts to take jobs outside of his coveted radio show, he risks ruining that brand. Plus, the Stern fans are an underground community of devoted followers and I don’t want a cookie-cutter audience getting a piece of my man. Hands off, NBC.

Sunday

13

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review — Who Knew?

Written by , Posted in General


 

 

  • Ashton Kutcher quit tweeting because he can’t think of himself. SheKnows
  • Jennifer Lopez is dating her back-up dancer, Casper Smart. Astrochicks
  • George Clooney contemplated suicide. MSNBC
  • Chelsea Handler and Andre Balazs split up! Just Jared
  • Kim Richards admitted to being on prescription medication. ICYDK
  • Zoe Saldana and her fiance split up after 11 years together. People
  • Justin Timberlake kept his promise and attended the Marine Corps ball.  Huffington Post
  • Denise Brown said Kris Jenner is lying about her sister’s murder. The Superficial
  • Kim Karadshian is suing her ex-publicist who claims her wedding was a sham. Reuters

Friday

11

November 2011

1

COMMENTS

Rachel Crow Sings ‘I’d Rather Go Blind’ on ‘X Factor’ — Kills It

Written by , Posted in General

The chances of a Simon Cowell protege winning ‘X Factor’ just got a little bigger, with Rachel Crow’s incredible performance of the Etta James song, ‘I’d Rather Go Blind.’ I have to admit my shock, given that I completely dismissed Crow at the beginning of the competition. Cowell clearly edited her into a superstar. And as an aside — Nicole Scherzinger is extremely annoying.

Thursday

10

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Metallica’​s New Album — ‘Lulu’ — Horrific

Written by , Posted in General

I may not be a musician, but I know what crap sounds like. And Metallica’s new album is absolutely horrible. They collaborated with singer-songwriter, Lou Reed, and the album, entitled ‘Lulu’, is based on two plays written by the German playwright Frank Wedekind. It’s predictably a critical and commercial failure. The vocals are largely spoken-word, which makes for painful listening. When asked about his fan-backlash, Metallica drummer, Lars Ulrich said, “It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s a fantastic record.” Allow me to take a moment to speak directly to Mr. Ulrich, who needs a serious Dishmaster lecture. If you want to bastardize this medium by producing shit, then do it in the privacy of your own studio and never release it to the masses. But when you expose our ears to what is largely a joke, you disrespect your fans and make a mockery of an industry that is already struggling. It’s time to exit the crazy house and start making good music again. Listen to a clip of the song, ‘The View’, below.

Wednesday

9

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Eddie Murphy Resigns as Oscar Host — Follows Brett Ratner

Written by , Posted in General

I hope the Academy just learned a lesson about the ramifications of being puritanical hypocrites. Eddie Murphy predictably stepped down as Oscar host after learning that his friend, Brett Ratner, “resigned” as the show’s producer. The Academy likely fired Ratner without realizing the risk of losing Murphy. The Ratner debacle began with a series of loose-lipped interviews, most notably his quote that “rehearsal is for fags.” Had they fired Ratner immediately after he made the bigoted remark, I’d be fine with it. But that’s not why he was fired. Ratner was fired because of his candid Howard Stern interview, in which he detailed his sex life, including making Lindsay Lohan get an STD test prior to sleeping with her and being “in love with eating pus*y.” Though I detest Brett Ratner, there’s an underlying lesson to be learned here — you can use bigoted words, but you can’t openly discuss your sex life. You know . . . because that’s inappropriate. And despite my Ratner hatred, losing Murphy as a host should have been enough to keep Ratner. I predict a very boring Academy Awards this year.

Wednesday

9

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol — New Trailer — Tom Cruise is Hot

Written by , Posted in General

It’s okay to love Tom Cruise. Sure he’s a little nuts, but so are all actors. And if you judge him for his Scientology beliefs, then don’t you also have to judge every other actor with a religious affiliation that thinks there’s an imaginary, bearded man in the sky waiting at heaven’s gate? Plus, he’s still super hot, and here at The Dishmaster, looks are most important. So watch the trailer below for ‘Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol‘ and start to get excited about the best action-movie franchise in recent history.

 

Wednesday

9

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Rachel Maddow Covers Howard Stern’s Gloria Allred Ambush

Written by , Posted in General

Because I’m in love with both Howard Stern and Rachel Maddow, you can imagine my excitement when my friend pointed me to the video below. Maddow is clearly a Howard Stern fan, dedicating a full eight minute segment to Benjy Bronk’s hilarious press-conference-crash. Maddow called Howard Stern both “horrifying and compelling” and said that he’s “the greatest long-running, gross-out, genius performance art satire radio spectacle of [her] generation.” Can Howard Stern please book Rachel Maddow as a guest?

Tuesday

8

November 2011

0

COMMENTS

Chuck Bass Apologizes to Blair on ‘Gossip Girl’

Written by , Posted in General

If you’ve never had your heart broken by the one you love, then you’ve never truly lived. And while nothing can expedite the healing process, it’s certainly welcome and unique when the heart-breaker apologizes. So you can imagine my excitement when I witnessed the very sexy Chuck Bass finally apologize to Blair on ‘Gossip Girl.’ Sure it’s imaginary, but I enjoy turning to my imaginary world in times when reality fails me. Let this be a lesson to men everywhere. Watch the beautiful scene below.