THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Tuesday

30

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Kim Kardashian’s Music Video Leaks — Oily Trainwreck

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In case you thought auto-tune and baby oil could make anyone a singer — think again. A clip of Kim Kardashian’s failed single, Jam, hit the internet, and it’s definitely a fun watch. Though I’m familiar with a lot of “vocal production” techniques, Kardashian proves that some turds are just too big to polish. Listen below.

Monday

29

August 2011

11

COMMENTS

Howard Stern is on Vacation — Goodbye August — & September?

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When I discovered that Howard Stern is on vacation for the second week in a row in August, I became infuriated. How am I supposed to get through my work day without him? And before you insist that it’s unproductive to listen to the radio while working, I’d like to remind you disrespectful lunatics that I passed the bar exam (on the the first try) while listening to Stern all day, and there is no better judge of productivity than that. And now — time for my rant.

While it’s true that Stern is the only entertainer at his level that is still forced to work terrible hours, I still take issue with his consistent absences. First, he never announces them, which leads to intense disappointment when I grab my morning coffee and turn on my radio. Second, his replacement programming sucks. Why won’t he play his best interviews while he’s on vacation? Instead, he plays old shows that aren’t nearly as good as his newer stuff.

When a fan recently complained to Stern about his excessive vacation schedule, Stern responded with, “Then you gotta cancel your service. I will never rip you off. If you feel dissatisfied with the amount of shows I’m doing you should absolutely leave the company and leave the service….I will always be honest with my fans…I hope you stay with us, but if you don’t c’est la vie.”

I’m sure the fan in question will not in fact cancel his service — and neither will I. After all, isn’t something better than nothing? Isn’t it better to have 20% of someone than 0% of them? I have to take a step back from that philosophy to remind myself that it is the same sordid analysis I used while recently dating an emotionally unavailable man. So Stern — if you’re reading this — I want 100% of you.

Sunday

28

August 2011

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Adele Sings ‘Someone Like You’ at the VMA’s — Kills It!

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The most painful reality of life is not getting to share it with our greatest love. For some kind of horrific, unexplainable reason, we don’t always get to be with our most powerful love, and only Adele could master this pain in her beautiful song, ‘Someone Like You.’ She wrote it after her relationship ended with “the love of her life,” and she later said she would “never forgive herself” for its failure. In the song, Adele imagines what it would be like to run into her ex years later, after having discovered he settled down with someone else, and she was still searching. There is quite possibly nothing worse. I’ve posted her chilling performance from the Video Music Awards below, and I dare you to listen to it without crying. I have to warn you though — if you just exited a relationship, you should probably refrain. In fact, I’m currently on hiatus from the entire album. It’s just too damn close to home.

Get More: 2011 VMA, Music, Adele

Sunday

28

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Music Spotlight On: Hazel

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When I launched my blog, I had the dream of finding and promoting undiscovered artists. To be fair, a lot of the new artists I hear were actually discovered by KCRW, a popular public radio station in Los Angeles. Today’s artist is ‘Hazel‘, and upon doing further research, I know absolutely nothing about the band except that it is made up of: Angelica Garcia (lead vocals); Ivan Pyzow (vocals, piano); Luka Douridas (guitar); and Lukas Frank (drums). It doesn’t help that when they selected their name they didn’t account for Google, considering that my search for “Hazel ” returns a lot of results about color. Did I mention there is another band with the exact same name? If only these guys would have consulted with The Dishmaster before releasing their album. Enough about my internet expertise — listen to the song below. I love it. And you can download it for free from their site.

Saturday

27

August 2011

1

COMMENTS

Week-in-Review — Tabloid Gossip: Breakups, Makeups & Babies

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  • Halle Berry won round #500 in her custody battle with her ex-boyfriend, Gabriel AubryTMZ
  • Is Ashlee Simpson drunk dialing Pete Wentz? Us Magazine
  • Former ‘Little House on the Prairie’ star, Melissa Gilbert, filed for divorce.  People
  • Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter broke up after three years together. Celebuzz
  • Former ‘Brady Bunch’ star, Christopher Knight, filed for divorce from ‘America’s Next Top Model’ winner, Adrianne CurryE! Online
  • Lindsay Lohan’s team begged Steven Soderbergh’s people to deny that he rejected her for a role in his film.  The Blemish
  • Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are expecting their third child together.  Huffington Post
  • Paris Hilton’s reality show, ‘The World According to Paris’, was cancelled by Oxygen.  NY Magazine
  • Former ‘Roseanne’ star, Sarah Gilbert, has split from her partner of 10 years, Allison Adler.  Dlisted

 

Saturday

27

August 2011

579

COMMENTS

Leah Remini and Holly Robinson Peete Fired From ‘The Talk’?

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When I first watched ‘The Talk,’ I knew almost immediately that the show would not survive with its panel of hosts. The women didn’t gel, and the only person that I thought had true talent was Julie Chen, who, similar to Barbara Walters’ role on ‘The View,’ is a real journalist (though there is only one Babs). So it’s no surprise that three of the original hosts have been given the axe. This includes: Leah Remini, Holly Robinson Peete, and Marissa Jaret Winokur. Leah Remini recently admitted to the firing (or “not having her option picked up” as it goes in Hollywood), which I appreciate. There’s no need to develop some elaborate excuse about not wanting to return (hear that Megan Fox?). Though I feel bad for them, this was a good decision on CBS’ part. First, Remini wasn’t funny. She’s an actress not a comedian. Unlike Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, and Sherri Shepherd, Remini not only lacks the timing necessary to navigate those segments, but she also is the rare breed of annoying, which includes thinking you’re funny when you’re not (at least Julie Chen never attempted jokes). As for Holly Robinson Peete, she just wasn’t particularly interesting or funny. I hate to be harsh, but I’m glad CBS got their act together. There are rumors swirling that Kris Jenner might be the new co-host, which is actually a good idea. Despite my love/hate relationship with the Kardashians, they are relevant — like it or not.

Saturday

27

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — Steve Jobs the Taskmaster

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In the Summer of 2008, Apple launched MobileMe on its third generation iPhone, which was meant to compete with Blackberry’s coveted email system. Despite the iPhone’s positive reviews, MobileMe was a failure with critics. So Steve Jobs, never one to take failure lying down, gathered his MobileMe team for an emergency town hall meeting. Then he asked, “can someone tell me what MobileMe is supposed to do?” After getting an answer, he replied, “then why the fuck doesn’t it do that?”

Friday

26

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Beyonce’s ‘1 + 1′ Video — Sexy or Ridiculous?

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You know what I do to feel sexy? I lather myself up with an entire bottle of oil, sprinkle some glitter all over my body, and then I run the shower with my glossy mouth open and say, “make love to me,” even when I’m alone. Doesn’t everyone do that? Apparently, I’m not alone — Beyonce does it too! Who would have thought she’d have it in her to top that pants-less ‘Single Ladies’ video. Her new video, ‘1 + 1′, is so ridiculously over-the-top, I found myself laughing very hard. She must be a genius though — because I couldn’t tear myself away. Did I mention there’s a ridiculous high note at the end of each sentence? You’ll have to see this to believe it. Be sure to get your oil ready — this is contagious.

Friday

26

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Steve Jobs Resigns — Listen to his 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech

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I never went to one of those fancy-schmancy schools with an A-list commencement speaker. Instead, I got agenda-driven hacks that used my school’s graduating class to proselytize their partisan ideas. But thanks to YouTube, I can just close my eyes, pretend I went to Stanford, and let Steve Jobs’ words of wisdom wash over me. His speech was sent my way because of his recent resignation, and I’m embarrassed to admit that I cried while listening. Perhaps I’m hormonal? Seriously though — it’s incredible. I’d encourage you to listen to it and then quit your dead-end job in favor of a more fulfilling dream. Oh that’s right — the economy has tanked and we no longer get those dream-driven choices. Enough of my jaded jargon — allow Mr. Jobs to eliminate your pessimism. And judging from the angry undertones in this post — I need to watch it again.

Thursday

25

August 2011

3

COMMENTS