THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Friday

6

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — CurrentTV Responds to Keith Olbermann’s Lawsuit

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“As the old adage says: ‘When the law is on your side, you argue the law. When the facts are on your side, you argue the facts. When neither the law nor the facts are on your side, you pound the table.’ It is well established that over his professional career Mr. Olbermann has specialized in pounding the table.” Laura Nelson, a CurrentTV spokeswoman, on Keith Olbermann’s lawsuit against Al Gore’s network following his termination.

Wednesday

4

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — Jeremy Renner Isn’t Gay — Also, He’s Private

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“I want my personal life to be personal, and it’s not f—ing true. And I don’t care if you’re talking about things that are true, you’re still talking about my personal life. How about I go peek in your window, take what underwear you wore last night, whose husband you were f—ing, and shove that in the megaphone throughout your neighborhood? How does that feel?” Jeremy Renner, on the rumors that he’s gay and his opposition to tabloid journalism exposing his personal life.

 
 
 

Wednesday

4

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Kris Humphries Strips for Magazine Shoot — GROSS!

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Though I usually do not take the time to insult people on The Dishmaster, today I will make an exception for Kris Humphries, who has quite possibly accomplished the least sexy attempt at sexy in the history of photography. What on earth was he thinking? Allow me to explain the lack of sexy. First, women aren’t as visual as men, so unless he’s trying to appeal to gay men, it’s pointless to take the Anthony Weiner route. Second, for those that know me personally, you’re aware of my bulge-predictor tactics, which I won’t elaborate on for fear that I will move this blog to R-Rated territory. Let’s just say that what some women might consider an asset, I’d consider a big “NO THANK YOU.” And lastly, why is he wearing a Halloween mask? When I play bedroom-dress-up, I want my man to wear a police uniform and throw me around. I don’t want him wearing face-paint and little underwear. Kim Kardashian created a monster.

Wednesday

4

April 2012

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COMMENTS

The Fray Sing the National Anthem — A for Effort

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Why would anyone in their right mind agree to sing the National Anthem? No matter who the singer or what their talent, they inevitably get eaten alive by the press. Then — there’s The Fray, who not only agreed to sing it, but they attempted to change things up with a very odd, acoustic version of the song. Sure it was bad, but I give them a lot of credit for trying something new. Plus, all press is good press, right? Good job, guys.

Tuesday

3

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Penn Jillette v. Clay Aiken — Does Art Beat Money?

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Two weeks ago on Celebrity Apprentice, Penn Jillette had a fight with Clay Aiken about a fundraising task which involved Jillette’s very well-known Vegas friends and performers, Blue Man Group. In short, Blue Man Group agreed to donate eight thousand dollars, but they delivered it by popping a money-filled-balloon at the end of their performance, which resulted in some of the money being lost to random people on the street. Aiken was furious at the lost money, and he basically called Jillette ridiculous for the entire idea. After reading Jillette’s incredibly moving and well-written article on the Huffington Post about what happened, I’m officially in love with him. He described his love of art as more powerful than his love of money, and he detailed his struggle in explaining that to Trump and Aiken, saying, “Trying to explain to Donald Trump that beauty and art can be more important than money is like trying to explain to Donald Trump that beauty and art can be more important than money.” He also said that this was the “episode where Donald Trump understood that he didn’t understand me, and feeling misunderstood by Donald Trump and Clay Aiken is its own kind of joy.” Wow. Here’s hoping I can interview Penn Jillette one day.

Tuesday

3

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — Penn Jillette — Why’d He Do Celebrity Apprentice?

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“It turns out that if you put a camera in front of anybody, not just a narcissistic amoral celebrity, but actually a good human being, if you put a camera on them for four, five, six hours and tell them to simply be careful what they say, not even in any particular direction but just weigh each word before you say it, and if you do that for like a bunch of hours without giving that person a break, that person ends up with their willpower depleted. They lose the same kind of governing that people get when they’re really drunk. It’s fascinating to watch people who are being careful about what they say and trying to come off very well lose that governing.” Penn Jillette on his choice to do Celebrity Apprentice, and what he learned about reality television and human nature from the experience.

Tuesday

3

April 2012

0

COMMENTS

The Voice: Christina Sends Home Moses Stone — Big Mistake

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I had the pleasure of attending a live taping of The Voice tonight, and it’s now unequivocally clear that this show won’t survive without a major overhaul. Though it has an intriguing gimmick, there’s some glaring issues that need to be addressed. First, there’s absolutely no emotional connection with the contestants. Sure American Idol gets attacked for pulling on America’s heartstrings with cheesy video packages, but those packages serve an important purpose. They make you root for a contestant, and you become invested in that contestant’s success. With The Voice, I found myself struggling to remember the contestants for anything other than what they wore on a previous show. Second, the judges are choosing people based on who is most similar to their own style. For example, Christina Aguilera predictably chose Ashley De La Rosa, because Ashley’s performance is the most similar to the way Christina performs. She’s not an inside A&R person like Simon Cowell, and if she was, she’d know right away that Moses has more potential for a sustainable career in the industry. And lastly, whoever styles the contestants needs to make some serious changes. These kids don’t look like stars. And they should. Don’t believe my criticism? Then just look to the Season 1 winner, Javier Colon, who has yet to hit it big. If they can’t make their winner a star, then they lose all credibility.

Tuesday

3

April 2012

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COMMENTS

James Cameron Changes Titanic’s Stars — Astronomers Rejoice!

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When James Cameron released Titanic in 3D, he kept the original film intact — except for one very important thing. He changed the stars. As pointed out by astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson, Cameron’s stars in the original film were inaccurate, so Cameron felt compelled to correct it. When Cameron prepared the film, he said, “All right, you son of a bitch, send me the right stars for the exact time, 4:20 a.m. on April 15, 1912, and I’ll put it in the movie.” This certainly proves that James Cameron is nothing if not a perfectionist. Perhaps he’ll also take the time to reduce the size of that damn piece of wood so Jack’s death seems more justified and Rose doesn’t look like she’s hogging it.

Monday

2

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — Does Oprah Regret Launching OWN?

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“Had I known it was going to be this difficult, I might have done something else. . . . If I knew then what I know now, I might have made some different choices. . . . If I were writing a book about it, I would call it 101 mistakes. . . . It’s like having the wedding when you know you’re not ready. I would have probably waited until I actually finished [my show].” Oprah tells Gayle King and Charlie Rose about the challenges of launching a network and whether she regrets it.

Monday

2

April 2012

0

COMMENTS

Paris Hilton Bans Australia’s Channel Seven — Good Decision!

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I’m embarrased to defend Paris Hilton, but someone’s gotta do the dirty work, and today it’s The Dishmaster. Paris Hilton interviewed with Australia’s Channel Seven to promote her nightclub appearance in Australia, and the interview went wrong when Edwina Bartholomew asked her what she would do when she’s not famous anymore. Hilton’s team apparently demanded they remove the question from the interview, which resulted in it not only being kept, but a re-edited intro about how much Paris Hilton sucks. Allow me to take a moment to point out the obvious. When you invite someone into your home, it’s completely inappropriate to make fun of them and to ask questions like, “Did you actually go for a swim, or would it have ruined your hair?” And what about the “she’s famous for being famous” remarks? She actually ran a clip of Hilton’s sex tape too. If you don’t respect the girl, then don’t interview her. And furthermore, what exactly is Bartholomew’s talent? It’s not as if she has any definable skill. At least Paris Hilton used her name to launch products. That’s more than some snarky ltitle blond chick with nothing better to do than pick on her guests. Watch below.

Update: Paris Hilton emailed Edwina Bartholomew and said her PR team overreacted, and she was fine with the interview. This is likely because the ban made Hilton look afraid of the question (implying that she’s already fearful that her fame has declined). Regardless, Bartholomew is still on my Dishmaster sh*tlist.