THE DISHMASTER

Entertainment News With a Side of Dish

Monday

9

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Jennifer Lopez’s New Video With Casper Smart — HOT!

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Jennifer Lopez definitely learned from her relationship errors. Every girl starts off life wanting the smart, successful guy that challenges her, and then she quickly realizes that the nice, hot guy makes life is much easier to live. And Casper Smart sure is nice and hot. Plus, did she drink some kind of youth serum? She looks damn beautiful. Perhaps it’s the young boyfriend.

Saturday

7

April 2012

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COMMENTS

The Supreme Court Allows Strip Searches for Minor Offenses — Outrage Ensues

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I have once again commissioned the services of my Contributing Editor, Rik Sault, to write about all the smart things that are far beyond my comprehension. I deliberately surround myself with very intelligent people so that I can abuse them at a later date to write articles for The Dishmaster, and so far my plan is working. Read below for a very succinct summary of a very insane issue.

Written By: Rik Sault, Contributing Editor

On Monday, a divided U.S. Supreme Court ruled that jailers may Constitutionally strip-search people arrested for the most minor offenses – like failing to use a turn signal or riding a bicycle without an audible bell – even if there is no reason to suspect that the arrestee is carrying concealed contraband.

The case was brought by a New Jersey man arrested after a traffic stop; the police mistakenly believed that he had failed to pay a fine. While he was jailed for a week, in two different facilities, he was twice required to shower with delousing soap and undergo a strip search. He brought suit alleging violations of his privacy rights under the Fourth and 14th Amendment, and arguing that jail officials must have reasonable suspicion of concealed contraband before they can strip-search people arrested for minor crimes.

At the Supreme Court, the justices split 5-4 along ideological lines. Justice Kennedy, the famed “swing” vote, wrote the opinion. He and the Court’s conservative faction found that it’s difficult for jails (strictly speaking, the term does not include prisons) to know which of the 13 million arrestees taken in each year are dangerous. Therefore, “courts must defer to the judgment” of the jailers “unless there is substantial evidence showing their policies are an unnecessary or unjustified response to problems of jail security.” Kennedy offered three reasons for rejecting a rule requiring reasonable suspicion before conducting a strip search: (1) deterring contraband, (2) the danger of introducing lice or contagions into the jails, and (3) the “identification and isolation” of gang members by looking for gang-related tattoos and markings.

Justice Breyer wrote the dissent, which was joined by Justices Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Kagan. The four liberal justices found that the searches permitted by the majority were “a serious affront to human dignity and to individual privacy,” and that the Fourth Amendment should be understood to bar strip searches for minor offenses which do not involve drugs or violence unless there is a reasonable suspicion of concealed contraband.

But in spite of the dissenters’ qualms, the majority’s opinion appears to be fairly limited. In a concurring opinion, conservative Justice Alito explained, “The Court holds that jail administrators may require all arrestees who are committed to the general population of a jail to undergo visual strip searches not involving physical contact by (guards)… the Court does not hold that it is always reasonable to conduct a full strip search of an arrestee whose detention has not been reviewed by a judicial officer and who could be held in available facilities apart from the general population.” Because the decision applies only when the arrestee will be admitted to a jail’s general population, it is unlikely that the decision will directly affect lawsuits in which arrestees allege that they were unlawfully strip searched but not placed in a general population. Moreover, the strip searches upheld by the decision involve only a visual inspection – no touching. And the decision certainly does not require that all jails conduct the strip searches. It merely holds that the Fourth Amendment does not forbid them. Jails are free to set their own policies on whether to conduct visual-inspection strip searches of all arrestees.

The High Court’s decision can be viewed here

Saturday

7

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Barbara Walters on Samantha Brick: “She’s Not that Beautiful”

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There isn’t much to say about the Samantha Brick story other than she is a very annoying woman who wrote a very annoying article for The Daily Mail about all the attention she gets for being beautiful. Backlash ensued, and then the ladies of The View chimed in. Now comes the good part. After telling the producer to put Brick’s picture back up on the monitor, Walters cut Brick with just one simple sentence, saying, “She’s not that beautiful.” And my other favorite part of this story came from a random commenter on another blog who said, “This is just proof that an American 10 is a British 5.” Click here to watch Walters in action.

Friday

6

April 2012

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COMMENTS

“The Miz” Hosts MTV’s Challenge Reunion — TERRIBLE

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It’s too bad Mark Long competed on this season of The Challenge: Battle of the Exes and therefore couldn’t host. The Miz has to be the worst host in the history of the show. Sure he asked the necessary questions, but his narcissistic love for himself was so distracting I couldn’t listen to the answers. I’m surprised he could take five minutes away from the mirror for MTV. Was he born a narcissist, or did MTV create this monster? And furthermore, what genius gave him the job? Watch below for the horrifying debacle.

Friday

6

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Friday

6

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review — High Drama

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  • Heidi Klum filed for divorce from Seal. So sad. People
  • Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag still don’t speak. Us Magazine
  • Hilary Duff tweeted the first picture of her son. Pop Crunch
  • Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz are back on. Celebuzz
  • Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon are cousins. Zap2It
  • Bruce Willis is a dad to a fourth daughter. Just Jared
  • Alec Baldwin blasted the paparazzi for crashing his girlfriend’s yoga class. OTRC
  • Bristol Palin’s ex impregnator, Levi Johnson, knocked up another girl.  Contact Music
  • Carnie Wilson underwent her second weight loss surgery. CNN
  • Miranda Lambert isn’t happy with Ashton Kutcher. CBS News
  • Jim Carrey might be getting married again. DListed
  • Adam Levine and Anne V. broke up. Mtv
  • Kris Humphries refused Kim Kardashian’s 7 million dollar settlement offer. Reality Tea
  • Nicole Scherzinger says she’s an eight out of ten. Daily Telegraph

 

 

 

 

Friday

6

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — CurrentTV Responds to Keith Olbermann’s Lawsuit

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“As the old adage says: ‘When the law is on your side, you argue the law. When the facts are on your side, you argue the facts. When neither the law nor the facts are on your side, you pound the table.’ It is well established that over his professional career Mr. Olbermann has specialized in pounding the table.” Laura Nelson, a CurrentTV spokeswoman, on Keith Olbermann’s lawsuit against Al Gore’s network following his termination.

Wednesday

4

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — Jeremy Renner Isn’t Gay — Also, He’s Private

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“I want my personal life to be personal, and it’s not f—ing true. And I don’t care if you’re talking about things that are true, you’re still talking about my personal life. How about I go peek in your window, take what underwear you wore last night, whose husband you were f—ing, and shove that in the megaphone throughout your neighborhood? How does that feel?” Jeremy Renner, on the rumors that he’s gay and his opposition to tabloid journalism exposing his personal life.

 
 
 

Wednesday

4

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Kris Humphries Strips for Magazine Shoot — GROSS!

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Though I usually do not take the time to insult people on The Dishmaster, today I will make an exception for Kris Humphries, who has quite possibly accomplished the least sexy attempt at sexy in the history of photography. What on earth was he thinking? Allow me to explain the lack of sexy. First, women aren’t as visual as men, so unless he’s trying to appeal to gay men, it’s pointless to take the Anthony Weiner route. Second, for those that know me personally, you’re aware of my bulge-predictor tactics, which I won’t elaborate on for fear that I will move this blog to R-Rated territory. Let’s just say that what some women might consider an asset, I’d consider a big “NO THANK YOU.” And lastly, why is he wearing a Halloween mask? When I play bedroom-dress-up, I want my man to wear a police uniform and throw me around. I don’t want him wearing face-paint and little underwear. Kim Kardashian created a monster.

Wednesday

4

April 2012

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COMMENTS

The Fray Sing the National Anthem — A for Effort

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Why would anyone in their right mind agree to sing the National Anthem? No matter who the singer or what their talent, they inevitably get eaten alive by the press. Then — there’s The Fray, who not only agreed to sing it, but they attempted to change things up with a very odd, acoustic version of the song. Sure it was bad, but I give them a lot of credit for trying something new. Plus, all press is good press, right? Good job, guys.