THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Friday

26

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Steve Jobs Resigns — Listen to his 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech

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I never went to one of those fancy-schmancy schools with an A-list commencement speaker. Instead, I got agenda-driven hacks that used my school’s graduating class to proselytize their partisan ideas. But thanks to YouTube, I can just close my eyes, pretend I went to Stanford, and let Steve Jobs’ words of wisdom wash over me. His speech was sent my way because of his recent resignation, and I’m embarrassed to admit that I cried while listening. Perhaps I’m hormonal? Seriously though — it’s incredible. I’d encourage you to listen to it and then quit your dead-end job in favor of a more fulfilling dream. Oh that’s right — the economy has tanked and we no longer get those dream-driven choices. Enough of my jaded jargon — allow Mr. Jobs to eliminate your pessimism. And judging from the angry undertones in this post — I need to watch it again.

Thursday

25

August 2011

3

COMMENTS

Thursday

25

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Kim Kardashian Loses $75,000 Earring — High Maintenance?

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At times in my life I’ve been accused of being “high maintenance.” Though I’m certainly a plant that needs constant watering, I can assure you — I am not as high maintenance as Kim Kardashian. During a trip to Bora Bora with her then boyfriend Kris Humphries, Humphries threw her in the ocean, which caused her to lose a $75,000 earring. As a result, she cried hysterically while Humphries looked puzzled. Perhaps she shouldn’t wear diamonds to the ocean? Maybe next time she’ll wear a full gown too. At least she makes her man a ton of money — that probably makes up for the headache he received later that day. As an aside, Kim’s face disturbingly doesn’t move when she cries. Too much botox?

Thursday

25

August 2011

7

COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — ‘Columbiana’ Movie Review

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“Co-writer and co-producer Luc Besson tries a new spin on his tried-and-true “La Femme Nikita” formula, but the results are so clumsy and over-the-top that they should have just called the movie “Panty Assassin” and played the whole thing for laughs.” Alonso Duralde very funny movie review of Zoe Saldana’s new film, ‘Columbiana.’

Tuesday

23

August 2011

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COMMENTS

Vintage Interview: Hugh Hefner Talks Playboy

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My favorite law school professor once said, “people think the United States moves at a snail pace. That’s true of everything but sex.” At the time, he was discussing obscenity laws, but the vintage Hugh Hefner interview below reminded me of his claim. It’s interesting to see how revolutionary Playboy magazine was, propelled by Hugh Hefner’s own chutzpah. Sure there’s still a plethora of people preaching abstinence, but we’ve definitely come a long way. Watch below.

Tuesday

23

August 2011

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COMMENTS

Tuesday

23

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Paul Simon’s New Album — ‘So Beautiful or So What’ — Incredible

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Despite being The Dishmaster, there are times I think I’m living under a rock. I’m constantly in search of new bands to write about, and I lose sight of the reliable legends.  One such legend is Paul Simon, who released his new album, So Beautiful or So What, in April — and I’m embarrassed to admit that I only just discovered it. Most of the information I receive is via word of mouth, and this album never hit my direction.  So I will take this opportunity to make it up to Paul Simon, who I fantasize about interviewing one day.  His latest effort is just as high-quality as his earlier albums, and some reviewers compared it to Graceland.  Loyal fan or not — you must buy it.  I’d also like to congratulate him on still contributing to his art form, which is very unlike some of his early comrades who no longer write new music (hear that Billy Joel?).

So Beautiful Or So What by Paul Simon

Monday

22

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Movie Review — ‘Rise of Planet of the Apes’

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Written by: Rik Sault

I asked one of my editors to write me a review of ‘Rise of Planet of the Apes’ tonight, primarily because I’m over-worked, and I thought, “that’s what my editors are for, right? They take the burden off of me when I want a mini-vacation.” He insisted that he’s “way under-slept,” and he’s “being harassed by a “very dumb black and white cat who does not know how her claws work.” Since I’m a convincing boss, I insisted, and he delivered what has to be the worst movie review I’ve ever read. But because I needed a laugh, and he delivered — I’m posting his review in its entirety. Enjoy!

 

If I had to describe it in one word: Awesome. If I get two words: Super-Awesome.

But I must admit up front that I am super-biased. Why?

1. I am a discerning dude who loves the appropriate kind of movie destruction – and I think destruction by Apes is very appropro.

2. I love James Franco (but I am not gay)

To dispel all suspicions to the contrary this film is not a remake of any of the old Planet of the Apes films, it is a reboot – this story has not been done before.

Notwithstanding this hyper-technical factoid, any type of remake, reboot, revisit of prior films poses all kinds of risks of a major letdown. Fortunately, I myself have no stake in the original series.

You have to take this film for what it is. It is not high art. There are gaps in the plot. But overall it is an exciting and enthralling film.

As a foundation, it effectively offers character sketches of the three strong lead actors: James Franco as a passionate, flighty, and somewhat socially inept scientist bent on helping the world; John Lithgow as a father struggling with Alzheimer’s, and Caesar the lead ape, the movie is really about him and they really did a great job humanizing this ape.

And then the film added some themes that I really like: humans tampering with the natural order, existentialism, and animal rights.

Finally, as one would hope, the apes (I am so tempted to call them monkeys but they aren’t), kick major ass – they tear things apart, they ride horses, they defeat the SWAT team – you can’t go wrong, here. I mean if you are not into the ape carnage, still see it for Franco and Lithgow.

OVERALL RATING: 4/5 DISHES

Monday

22

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — Paul Stanley of ‘Kiss’

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“We were a little more traditional and stuck with names our children hopefully won’t regret when they grow up. Your kids aren’t objects for amusement, so why would you give them a name that would subject them to possible ridicule at school? Kids can be pretty tough on each other, and who wants to put a child named Spaghetti through school?” Paul Stanley on why he named his newborn Emily instead of adhering to the current celebrity trend of wacky baby names.

Sunday

21

August 2011

0

COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip Week-in-Review: Breakups, Makeups, & Babies

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  • Magician David Copperfield has a daughter.  E! Online
  • Clueless’ Donald Faison and Jessica Simpson’s former assistant, Cacee Cobb, are engaged.  People
  • Is Marc Anthony harassing Jennifer Lopez? Us Weekly
  • Prince Harry is single and coming to America.  Daily Beast
  • Kate Hudson debuted the first picture of her son.  She Knows