THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Thursday

16

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Hugh Hefner Alters Crystal Harris’ Playboy Cover — ‘Runaway Bride’ Sticker

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Hugh Hefner isn’t just a smart business man — he also has a sense of humor. Instead of letting Crystal Harris’ Playboy Magazine cover run with a “Mrs. Hefner” title, he decided to alter the issue by slapping a “Runaway Bride” sticker on it. I find this especially funny because it actually ruins Harris’ dream cover, considering her well-toned body is now slightly covered with an ugly sticker. Good job, Hef!

Thursday

16

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Kim Kardashian’s Wedding Registry Revealed — Is She Too Rich for This?

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Perhaps I’m a love-hating curmudgeon, but there’s nothing more materialistic than a wedding. Most people spend beyond their means, and some couples even go into debt to accommodate their childhood fantasy. So when you’re rich with limitless money, doesn’t it make the event even worse when you call upon your friends to contribute? Apparently, Kim Kardashian has no issues with this, considering she asked for a $1,250 spoon. Sure she has a right to presents if she wants them, but unless the presents have some semblance of sentimental value, wouldn’t it be better to just ask people to contribute to a charity — or not contribute at all?

Wednesday

15

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Shannon Tweed Storms off Joy Behar’s Show in a Gene Simmons Huff

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My Hollywood insiders tell me that 99% of reality television is fake. Because I’m a gullible dolt, I have trouble believing them. As a result, I think the clip below is real. In it, Shannon Tweed storms off the set of Joy Behar’s show, after her long-time partner, Gene Simmons, makes a joke about the many women he’s had sex with. There’s much speculation on the internet that it’s planned, but I just don’t think they are talented enough to pull off the spectacle. Plus, it’s entirely possible that they have already split up, and they are contractually obligated to promote the show, while also keeping the current status of their relationship a secret. Watch below and judge for yourself.
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Wednesday

15

June 2011

1

COMMENTS

Wednesday

15

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Justin Timberlake is “Better High” — I Can Assure Him — He is Not

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You know what’s worse than hanging out with a bunch of stoners? Hanging out with a bunch of stoners that discuss how great it is to be stoned. Justin Timberlake makes the annoy-the-Dishmaster list, with his recent interview where he discloses his affection for marijuana, followed by the proclamation that, “some people are just better high.” Because I’m the lucky alumni of a brain-numbing party college, I’ve had the good fortune of being around a plethora of high people. Like Timberlake, these people insist that they are “better” in their high state. I can assure him and and stoners everywhere — no one is better high. To be fair, I have met one person who becomes funnier while smoking weed, but I consider him to be an aberrant part of civilization that should be studied by doctors in a petri dish somewhere. Other than that, stoners may be the least entertaining people on the planet, and the idea that they want to make marijuana legal so that they can infect me with their horrible personality in a public forum — might be the scariest movement in history. Here’s the good news though — my celebrities-I’d-like-to-ba*g list just lost a member. No need to fantasize about Justin Timberlake anymore.

Tuesday

14

June 2011

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COMMENTS

Monday

13

June 2011

2

COMMENTS

Married to Rock — The Worst Show on Earth

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There’s no one more attracted to trashy reality television than myself. Having said that, I’d have to pull my eyelashes out lash-by-lash before watching more of ‘Married to Rock.’ It’s a shame when your wife can barely form actual sentences. Oh right — it’s fine if she’s hot. I’d tell you the names of the individuals in the clip below, but it’s simply not worth knowing. Enjoy!
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Monday

13

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Are Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed Splitting Up?

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Gene Simmons appeared on Cheslea Lately, and Chelsea represented women everywhere by asking why one woman isn’t enough. She also referred to his longtime partner, Shannon Tweed, as his “wife,” which clearly ruffled Gene’s feathers. Gene tried to evade her inquiry and Shannon then yelled out from the audience, “answer the lady!” Predictably, Gene did not have an answer. When Chelsea asked if it’s okay if Shannon sleeps with other men, he also shirked responding, which leads me to to believe that Gene Simmons is a misogynistic hypocrite. Plus, his hair is gross. It seems that Chelsea was on to something. While promoting the new season of their show on The Today Show, it appeared as if their marriage is ending. Watch both interviews below.
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Monday

13

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Alec Baldwin Addresses the Weiner Scandal — Huffington Post

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When the Weiner scandal broke, I had a lot to say and a lot of questions. I turned to my male friends, asking them to explain why a man would enjoy online sex, especially when such online sex primarily revolves around pictures of his own genitalia. Plus, his wife is hot. So what gives? Is he an over-sexed guy in need of constant affirmation? Is his wife a prude? Perhaps he’s just a pervert? My guy friend kindly pointed me to Alec Baldwin’s article with the Huffington Post, which basically answers all of the above questions. And I’d like to close this post by saying — of all the celebrities I fantasize about having coffee with — Alec Baldwin is number one.

Monday

13

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Tracy Morgan Apologizes — This One is Good

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When celebrities apologize, I find it’s usually a bunch of insincere hogwash meant to worm them out of a scandal. It’s akin to your horrible boyfriend apologizes by saying, “I’m sorry you took what I said the wrong way,” rather than, “I’m sorry I said that.” Tracy Morgan is officially an exception to the rule. The problem with his homophobic comments is that most people figured he actually believed those hateful comments. If I take his most recent apology at face-value, then he doesn’t believe what he said, he supports gay marriage, he’s anti gay bullying, and he would accept his son if he were gay. Because everyone deserves to be taken at their word (at least once, that is), I’d like to proclaim that we should take Tracy at his, and move on. No one will learn anything if we eternally chastise people for their mistakes.