THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Monday

13

June 2011

5

COMMENTS

Neil Patrick Harris’ Opening Number at the Tony’s — BRILLIANT!!

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When I was young, my father forced me to go to the theater. He took me to see ‘A Chorus Line’ at seven years old, and despite my complaining, he insisted I’d love it. He was right. Since then, I’ve dated a few guys whom I’ve asked to take me to a show, and they all denied my request, followed by a lecture on how only gay men enjoy the theater. I’d scratch my head with confusion, and remind them that my father isn’t gay, and he loves it. As it turns out, Jewish men are an exception to the rule. Neil Patrick Harris addressed these stereotypes in his very funny opening number for the Tony’s, which included a masterful handling of Brooke Shields’ singing flub. Watch below.
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Saturday

11

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Bill Maher and Jane Lynch Perform Anthony Weiner-Isms

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Bill Maher and Jane Lynch performed a dramatic reading of Anthony Weiner’s facebook sex chat, and it certainly put things in perspective. First, I love Jane Lynch. Second, Anthony Weiner clearly has no idea how to turn a woman on. And lastly, the Weiner issue is about as serious as Jane Lynch and Bill Maher portray it below. After the performance, Jane Lynch joined the panel to discuss whether Weiner should resign. Shockingly, Joshua Green and Sharon Waxman think the Weiner issue is worthy of resignation. Why? Because of the distraction, of course. When Janeane Garofalo wisely said the media (not Anthony Weiner) is responsible for the distraction from real issues, Green and Waxman brushed her off. Here’s my question: do Republicans have sex? Watch below for a laugh.
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Saturday

11

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Russell Crowe’s Circumcision Tirade — Accused of Anti-Semitism

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Russell Crowe received a lot of criticism over his anti-circumcision tweets, and some are even calling his statements anti-semitic. Of the “barbaric” ritual, Crowe said, “I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats, but stop cutting your babies.” I’m not sure whether his stance on baby penis is the anti-semitic part or it’s the “little hats” remark. As a Jew, I tried hard to be offended by his comments, especially since us Jews take just about everything personally. No such luck though. I suppose the only thing that offended me is the idea that Russell Crowe didn’t ask women what they prefer, because that’s certainly the most important part of this equation. Crowe forgets that later in life, men are less concerned about the existence or non-existence of foreskin, and they are more concerned about getting laid. And if women had their choice, I think I know which they’d pick. Perhaps that’s just me though. Did I mention I’m a Jew?

Friday

10

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Thursday

9

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Paris Hilton Talks About Barbara Walters Scuffle — Handles it Well

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For whatever reason, this blog has become very centered on Paris Hilton lately. Perhaps my brain is deteriorating. For those that don’t know, Hilton and Barbara Walters had a recent scuffle, which the press blamed on Barbara’s hard-hitting questions during their interview. Paris addressed the issue in an interview with E! below, and she handled it surprisingly well. Instead of firing back at the ladies of The View, she took the high road and said she respects Babs’ journalist skills, and the press blew the entire thing out of proportion. Who knew Paris could form actual sentences? Good job! Watch below.
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Thursday

9

June 2011

1

COMMENTS

Brooke Mueller’s Relapse Chronicled on Paris Hilton’s Show

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I might be the biggest fan of Paris Hilton’s new reality show. Though I picked on Paris Hilton in the first episode, I actually liked her more this time around, especially when I watched her concern over Brooke Mueller’s strange behavior. Throughout the course of the episode it becomes more and more clear that Brooke is struggling with her drug addiction, and the episode closes with a touching scene with Kathy Hilton. Watch below.
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Wednesday

8

June 2011

1

COMMENTS

Howard Stern Quote of the Day

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“Ted Kennedy essentially ran away from killing a woman . . . and he went on to become a senator that was honored and respected. In the history of scandal . . . this guy sexting a picture of his cock in his underwear . . . this poor motherfucker didn’t even get to fuck any of these broads.” Howard Stern’s take on the severity of the Anthony Weiner scandal.

Tuesday

7

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Blake Lively Still Denies Nude Photos Are Her — Best Move Ever

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There’s a nude photo scandal going on with Blake Lively, and her people insist that the photos are not her. I’ve seen these photos, and it’s difficult to believe her claim. Having said that, I’d like to give a major congratulations to Blake Lively’s representatives for capitalizing on the law of denial. As long as you insist the pictures are doctored, the public will be left with doubt, no matter how convincing the photographs. This is a method that other actors should soon adopt, Vanessa Hudgens in particular. Remember when Hudgens got her phone hacked, and her people confirmed their validity, followed by stern instructions to remove them because she was under eighteen at the time? I’d also like to note that I’ve learned many things from this nude photo scandal. Here’s the most important lesson, which Reese Witherspoon just reiterated: when taking naked pictures and sending them to a boy, make sure to keep my head out of the picture. That way I can always deny it’s my body, and something tells me that it won’t make much of a difference to him anyhow.

Tuesday

7

June 2011

0

COMMENTS

Reese Witherspoon Insults Paris Hilton & Kim Kardashian at MTV Movie Awards

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Either Reese Witherspoon was drunk at the MTV Movie Awards, or she had someone else write her material. Her speech was great, but it certainly seemed out of character. She said “like” about fifty times, and she clearly insulted Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, saying, “it’s possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show.” She also had a very good point about texting naked pictures, advising young girls everywhere to “hide their face.” Perhaps Blake Lively should take notes. Personally, I refrain from sending naked pictures altogether. No matter what the angle, my ass just looks to damn big. Watch Reese’s speech below.
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Monday

6

June 2011

1

COMMENTS

Jon Stewart on Anthony Weiner — “But We’re Friends”

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With the news that Congressman Anthony Weiner sent random women pictures of his penis, it’s only the next logical step that the world would turn to The Daily Show for Jon Stewart’s reaction. Unfortunately for Stewart, the comedy gift horse comes with a price. He and Weiner are friends, which leads Stewart with an uncomfortable task. Watch how he handles it below. As an aside, can someone explain why men think women want to see pictures of their private parts? Women aren’t visual, so looking at a bulge in your boxer/briefs isn’t going to ruffle my feathers. What happened to the good old days of sending flowers?
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