THE DISHMASTER

Entertainment News With a Side of Dish

Thursday

12

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Hilary Rosen Apologizes to Ann Romney — Blah, Blah

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When Democratic “strategist” Hilary Rosen said that stay-at-home mother Ann Romney “never worked a day in her life,” a firestorm emerged. Predictably, she has now apologized, saying, “As a mom I know that raising children is the hardest job there is. As a pundit, I know my words on CNN last night were poorly chosen. I apologize to Ann Romney and anyone else who was offended. Let’s declare peace in this phony war and go back to focus on the substance.” First, I wasn’t aware that “pundit” is another word for asshole. Second, I love how the offender always wants to declare “peace.” I’m The Dishmaster! There’s no peace until I say so!

Thursday

12

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Larry David Describes Parking Melt-Down: “I’m a Bad Swiper”

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We’ve all been stuck in a parking lot behind the asshole who can’t work the machine, but it’s not everyday that the asshole is Larry David. The Curb Your Enthusiasm star lived out a real-life episode of his HBO show, when he couldn’t figure out how to pay the $5 necessary to exit the garage. Fortunately, a very kind woman freed up the car-pile-up with some guidance. Watch him describe what happened on Conan, and watch the second video to see his melt-down occur.

Thursday

12

April 2012

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COMMENTS

The Civil Wars on Jimmy Kimmel — Awesomeness

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I have to give late night shows a lot of credit for their recent music selections. Letterman, Conan, and Kimmel have a stellar music team, and they are consistently highlighting quality music. Watch The Civil Wars perform “Barton Hollow,” from last year’s debut album, Kingdom Come.

Thursday

12

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Dave Grohl Responds to Courtney Love on Twitter: Confirms He’s a Gentleman

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As expected, Dave Grohl took the high road in his endless war with Courtney Love. And by war, I mean Dave Grohl has to incessantly avoid her crazy. In response to Love’s ridiculous allegations that Grohl slept with her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, Grohl simply said, “Unfortunately Courtney is on another hateful Twitter rant. These new accusations are upsetting, offensive and absolutely untrue.” Need I point out one more time that I’m in love with Dave Grohl?

Thursday

12

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day — Slash on Axl Rose: “He Hates My Guts”

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“He hates my guts. It’s over a lot of different stuff; I don’t even know. There’s just no communication between us. I talk to Duff McKagan [former Guns N’ Roses bass player] and Steven [Adler, former Guns N’ Roses drummer], but when it comes to old Guns N’ Roses, there really isn’t anybody that makes decisions.” Slash, on his willingness to play at the Guns N’ Roses Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction and on the reason Axl won’t appear.

Thursday

12

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Axl Rose Rejects Guns N’ Roses Hall of Fame Induction — Massive Douchebag

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Axl Rose has the most expensive grudge in the history of America. Despite media pressure and fan pleas, he has openly rejected the idea of appearing at the Guns N’ Roses Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Here’s what he had to say:

“I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns N’ Roses to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. “I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor may anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf. Neither former members, label representatives nor the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame should imply whether directly, indirectly or by omission that I am included in any purported induction of Guns N’ Roses.”

Here’s a translation for that ridiculous explanation: Axl Rose is a big baby. It’s absolutely astounding to me that Axl’s grudge toward his bandmates has basically cost him close to the billion dollars he stands to make on a reunion tour. Perhaps he should have a conversation with The Police or Simon and Garfunkel about burying the hatchet in the name of money. And in case you’re wondering about the history of Axl’s insanity, I’ll remind you of a very famous story for your reading pleasure. Once upon a time, Stephen Adler (the former drummer for the band) had a girlfriend named Adriana Smith. Axl wanted some sex noises on his song, “Rocket Queen,” so he invited Adler’s girlfriend to the studio and recorded himself having sex with her. Needless to say, when Adler found out — he wasn’t pleased. Listen below.

Wednesday

11

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Madonna’s Record Tanks — World Scratches its Head

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In case you haven’t heard, Madonna’s record tanked, and there’s a very important lesson to be learned here: No matter who you are, you can’t produce shit. The public will reject you, especially at a time when there are some really incredible musicians that are forging their way to the top through social media alone. And furthermore, I don’t feel sorry for the person charging over $300 per ticket for her concert. Here’s my advice: Don’t get bloated and surround yourself with “yes-men.” You will pay a creative price.

Wednesday

11

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Courtney Love v. Dave Grohl on Twitter: Round 3,216

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For years Courtney Love has attacked Dave Grohl for just about everything you can imagine. Grohl rarely responds to her ludicrous accusations, but this one in particular knocked it out of the park. According to Love, Grohl slept with her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. I’m curious how she would even know this information given that Frances Bean has a restraining order against her mother, but Courtney Love’s creative attempts to regain media attention continue to amaze me. Also — if Frances Bean did sleep with Dave Grohl — I am super jealous. The man is hot.

Wednesday

11

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Jon Stewart v. CNN: “Segment Titles Make No Sense”

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I almost forgot how much I love Jon Stewart, and then a recent clip of him poking fun at CNN’s ridiculousness made me remember. Stewart took issue with CNN’s attempt at branding their news with cheesy segment titles, saying, “most of [CNN’s] segment titles have no bearing on the news within the segment.” He then showed a clip of a segment called “Street Level,” which included news about a bungee-jumping paraplegic. As Stewart rightly pointed out, bungee-jumping off a bridge is most certainly not at the “Street Level.” Watch below.

Tuesday

10

April 2012

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COMMENTS

Alicia Silvertone Defends Mouth-to-Mouth Feeding Her Son — Heinous

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Can someone explain to me when Alicia Silverstone’s brain began to malfunction? If you stay too long in the monkey house you’ll stop smelling the shit. And Silverstone is clearly parked inside that monkey house. In defense of feeding her son in a mouth-to-mouth fashion, Silverstone said, “People have been feeding their kids that way for thousands for years, and I didn’t think I was inventing anything.” Did she seriously use tradition to justify her deplorable behavior? Perhaps she should wipe her ass with leaves too. To call it disturbing would be a drastic understatement.