THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Monday

2

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Seth Meyers Kills it at White House Dinner — Trump Didn’t Laugh

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Now might be a good time to confess my gigantic crush on Seth Meyers, the head writer for Saturday Night Live. And after watching his performance at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, my crush has officially become an obsession. My favorite part of the evening was when Meyers took aim at Donald Trump, who deserved it. Instead of taking it in stride, Trump looked noticeably pissed, and didn’t smile once. He later called Seth Meyers a “stutterer” and said he was “inappropriate.” First, how dare Donald Trump say anything negative about my future husband. And second, can’t the guy take a joke? Trump reminds me of a schoolyard bully who picks on everyone until some tiny kid stomps on his toe, and then he marches off crying to his mommy. If you can’t take it Mr. Trump, then don’t dish it out. Watch the very yummy Seth Meyers in action below.

 

Monday

2

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Man Accidentally Live-Tweets Osama Bin Laden Raid — Now Wants to Sleep

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Unlike the rest of America, Osama Bin Laden’s death has not put me in a celebratory mood. It reminds me of 9/11, and therefore depresses me whether the devil is dead or not. Having said that, I found an article today that made me laugh so hard it’s worthy of sharing. Sohaib Athar is an Abbottabad IT consultant who noticed something was amiss when he saw a helicopter hovering. Without thinking too much into it, he engaged in a series of tweets including:

  • “Helicopter hovering above Abbottabad at 1AM (is a rare event)”
  • “A huge window shaking bang here in Abbottabad Cantt. I hope it’s not the start of something nasty”
  • “The few people online at this time of the night are saying one of the copters was not Pakistani”
  • “People are saying it was not a technical fault and it was shot down. I heard it CIRCLE 3-4 times above, sounded purposeful.”

(more…)

Sunday

1

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Miranda Kerr Posts Breast-Feeding Picture — TMI?

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Miranda Kerr croppedCan someone please explain to me what exactly goes through the mind of celebrities when they use twitter? If only there was a forty minute delay on their tweets so that they had more time to think. Miranda Kerr posted a picture of herself breast-feeding, calling it, “just another day at the office.” First, I’d like to remind celebrities that they have a duty to maintain their mystique, and bringing people too far into their private lives is a mistake. Second, I’m not one of those individuals that advocates breast-feeding in public. I find it uncomfortable, and unless there’s some kind of blanket covering a woman’s breast, it’s borderline inappropriate. And no — I’m not afraid of the backlash for saying so. Lastly, is Miranda Kerr some kind of freak of nature that can miraculously get back into shape seconds after giving birth? How is that possible?

Saturday

30

April 2011

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COMMENTS

The Royal Wedding — Prince William and Prince Harry’s “Bro” Moment

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Many women in my high school dreamed of marrying Prince William.  In fact, my mother and I used to discuss how Prince William got all the looks and poor Prince Harry was far behind.  Years later, it turns out Prince Harry caught up, and judging from the clip below, he might be the funnier of the two.  As Kate Middleton walked down the aisle with Prince William’s back turned, Prince Harry snuck a peak and whispered something in his brother’s ear.  It’s unknown what he said, but he certainly had a Cheshire cat grin that made me wonder.  Watch below.

 

Saturday

30

April 2011

0

COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review

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  • Jersey Shore outcast, Angelina Pivarnick, is pregnant.  Popeater
  • Newly pregnant Kate Hudson announced her engagement to Muse front man, Matthew Bellamy, on The Today Show. The Frisky
  • Katie Holmes settled her lawsuit with Star Magazine for claiming she had a drug addiction.  Gossiponthis
  • Laguna Beach star, Kristin Cavallari, is engaged to Chicago Bears quarterback, Jay CutlerThe Slate
  • Richie Sambora dropped out of the Bon Jovi tour to enter rehab.  Pollstar
  • Paris Hilton’s boyfriend, Cy Waits, was punched on his way into the courthouse while holding Paris’ hand.  Popbytes
  • Adam Lambert has some very cool hair.  Celebuzz
  • Elton John’s mother shunned her grandson.  Stuff
  • January Jones is pregnant, and she hasn’t revealed the father.  She Knows

Friday

29

April 2011

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COMMENTS

Kenneth Branaugh Hated Christian Hemsworth’s ‘Thor’ Muscles

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I must confess that nothing disgusts me more on a man than chizzled muscles. While I don’t want to date a Pillsbury Doughboy, I also don’t want a man with bigger boobs than myself, which often happens with body-builders. So when Kenneth Branaugh expressed his objection to Christian Hemsworth’s excessive body-building for Thor, I had no choice but to post it. Read below:

His costume required a very sculpted shape and at one point he just started getting wider. He was like as wide as Los Angeles at one point and had absolutely no neck left. He had to eat like every three minutes. It seemed like every time I turned around someone was bringing him pasta or a basket of chicken. We ended up getting him back to being a lean, mean fighting machine, and so he was ultimately not too big. He was Thor the God and not Thor the bodybuilder.

Friday

29

April 2011

1

COMMENTS

Casey Abrams Kicked Off American Idol — The Judges Suck

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Here’s what I don’t understand about this season’s deplorable American Idol. Do the judges have a plan? Did they just pick some decent singers, put them on stage and decide that everyone’s equal, and it doesn’t matter who gets voted off? That’s certainly my hypothesis, given their lack of negative criticism. I actually thought Casey Abrams would take the Idol crown, until I realized that the judges have done nothing to direct the audience. That means the strongest singers have been voted off, and many of the weaker singers, with absolutely zero personality, are staying. Do the judges seriously think that every singer remaining can have a successful career outside of this talent show? Apparently so, since they arbitrarily compliment everyone. I’d like to take a moment to remind the judges that the competition is not just about singing ability — it’s about looks, personality, and charisma. Until they gain a better understanding of this, it’s basically a crapshoot, and the more talented kids like Casey Abrams, Pia Toscano, and Paul McDonald will get pushed aside. It’s unfortunate and frustrating. I cannot wait for X-Factor. I yearn for Simon Cowell’s return.

Thursday

28

April 2011

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COMMENTS

Glee Does ‘Born This Way’ — Gets It Right

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Perhaps it’s because I’m feeling extra emotional lately, but Glee’s most recent episode pulled on my heartstrings. The show’s theme was Lady Gaga’s song, Born This Way, and the story began with Rachel Berry (Lea Michele) wanting a nose job. In real life, Lea Michele has been very vocal about her opposition to changing her nose, and I’ve called her my personal hero because of it. I figure us big-schnozed Jews have to stick together, and it certainly helps when one of those schnozes is famous. Watch a clip from the show below to see Lea Michele and Dianna Agron sing a mash-up of Pretty/Unpretty.

Thursday

28

April 2011

0

COMMENTS

Howard Stern Moves Show to 3 Days a Week — Devastation Ensues

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Howard Stern broke my heart today and I’m not sure I will fully recover.  He announced that, starting next week, he will reduce his show from four days per week to three days per week.  When Stern re-signed with Sirius, he warned listeners that he’d change his schedule, which means this arrangement was negotiated months ago.  My guess is that Stern wanted to keep this announcement a secret until the dust settled on his contract re-negotiation.  I understand that Howard Stern is the only entertainer of his caliber that has to produce this much original content.  Letterman, for example, is on the air for one hour per day, and he has an entire machine behind him. Stern has a much smaller machine, and he’s producing 16 hours of original content per week.  That being said, I’m still devastated.  According to Stern,  “The option was either leave or work a few less days, and I thought it was better to stay on the air.” Yes — I’d prefer to have some of Stern than none of Stern.  But I want all of Stern.  Is that too much to ask?

Thursday

28

April 2011

0

COMMENTS

Sarah Palin v. Katie Couric — Palin Still Pissed About Newspaper Question?

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Before I start this post, I’d like to express my strong dislike for Sarah Palin. Having said that, I’m about to defend her. News outlets everywhere are still citing Katie Couric’s infamous question about Sarah Palin’s reading choices as a hard journalistic revelation. Allow me to put this to bed. When Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin what newspapers she reads and Palin refused to answer, everyone assumed that Palin simply didn’t read. But here’s the snag: if I’m being interviewed, and the “journalist” asks me what newspapers I read, I might tell such “journalist” to take a flying leap (or something laced with more profanity, which I’ll refrain from printing, because it’s not lady-like). The question itself implies negative judgment, and a real journalist wouldn’t ask it (such as Barbara Walters, for example). I’m fully confident Palin dodged that question because she was offended, and not because she’s never heard of the New York Times. Even a monkey knows about the New York Times. And before my readers attack me, please read the first sentence of this post again.