THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Wednesday

25

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Vintage Clip: Kirstie Alley Tells Larry King About Her Oprah Bikini Moment

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I’ve developed a new love for Kirstie Alley lately, mostly because of her incredible performances on Dancing With the Stars. While watching some recent clips, I came across her interview with Larry King below, where she discusses her choice to appear on Oprah Winfrey’s show in a bikini. When King asked her “what she was thinking,” Kirstie accused him of looking disgusted by the clip. She then explained that she didn’t know the clip would live on forever, and she just figured she’d pose once and then be done with it. Here’s hoping she gets a show on Oprah’s new network where all she does is prance around in a bikini.

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Wednesday

25

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day: Howard Stern on Building a Career

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“If you want to take your life and ride around on a bicycle, just do me one favor. When things aren’t going well for you when you’re older and u don’t have health insurance and you don’t have any money in the bank because you spent your youth riding a bicycle instead of building your career, I don’t want you complaining, and I don’t want you going on welfare, and I don’t want you asking me for a handout. That’s all.” Howard Stern on his staff-member’s terrible decision to quit Stern’s radio show so he could bicycle around the country for an entire year.

Monday

23

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Best Freestyle on Dancing With the Stars

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Kirstie Alley is my favorite contestant in the history of Dancing With the Stars. The goal of the show is to find someone that you can watch progress throughout the season, and Kirstie Alley embodied that. Plus, she’s lost so much weight in such a short period of time, I find myself doing cartwheels in her honor. On tonight’s finale, Kirstie and Maks stole the night with their freestyle. It’s not that it was the most technically perfect, it just had the most heart. It also doesn’t hurt that Maks is an Adonis of beauty. Seriously — he hurts my eyes.
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Monday

23

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Quote of the Day: Zach Galifianakis on his January Jones Experience

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” . . . if I remember correctly, she and I were very rude to each other. It was crazy. I was at a party — I’d never met her — and she was like, ‘Come sit down.’ So I sit at her table and talk for ten minutes, and she goes, ‘I think it’s time for you to leave now.’ So I say, ‘January, you are an actress in a show and everybody’s going to forget about you in a few years, so fucking be nice,’ and I got up and left. And she thinks that’s funny?” Zach Galifianakis’ take on his awful January Jones encounter, after recently hearing that she called him “the most naturally funny man she’d ever met.”

Monday

23

May 2011

17

COMMENTS

‘The Hangover’ Director Todd Phillips Insults Howard Stern’s Robin Quivers — Total Jerk!

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‘The Hangover’ director Todd Phillips called Howard Stern today to promote his sequel, and he’s officially on The Dishmaster sh*t-list. First, he sounded exhausted and boring, and second, he took aim at Robin Quivers, saying he was “over her.” When Stern prodded, Phillips said she upsets the rhythm of the show, and she’s “changed for the worse with her constant interruptions.” I’m sure Quivers incited his anger after insulting his film, ‘Due Date,’ saying that no one saw it. When Phillips informed Quivers that the movie made “$200 million” worldwide, Quivers responded with, “from where? Thailand?” Clearly the guy can’t take a joke, because his retaliation was far worse than her original insult. Since I’m a huge fan of both Robin Quivers and Howard Stern, I’d like to tell Todd Phillips to suck it. Also — he should go to bed early the next time he makes a Stern appearance. That might help with his boring disposition.

Sunday

22

May 2011

3

COMMENTS

Curb Your Enthusiasm Returns! — Season 8 Promo Released!

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The greatest part of the promo for the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, is when Jeff Garlin calls Larry David a “social assassin.” Some people are moved by shows that involve hospitals or court rooms, but I’m not one of those people. Personally, I’m moved by an angry, Jewish curmudgeon who reminds me that even though I constantly complain, there’s someone out there who is far worse. Watch below!
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Sunday

22

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Rihanna & Britney Spears Perform at Billboard Music Awards — Leotards Galore!

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Tonight was a big night for Britney Spears. Though she’s appeared on different shows, she has yet to perform at an awards show since the MTV Video Music Awards debacle. When I first heard she’d be performing at the Billboard Music Awards, I thought it was a tabloid rumor. Then I heard the details, and it immediately became clear. Rihanna carried it, and Britney did a brief, one minute performance. Overall, it was fine. Since I’ve attacked Britney Spears for her recently lack of choreography, I’d like to note that Rihanna’s performance indicates that choreography isn’t essential to success. In fact, all you have to do to entertain the crowd is dress like a whore and gyrate on stage. Oh yeah — and wear a thong while imaginary men reach their hands toward your exposed ass. I’m not a prude, though — I just call it like I see it. Watch their performance below.
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Sunday

22

May 2011

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COMMENTS

NBC’s ‘The Voice’ — Vicci Martinez v. Niki Dawson — Best Duet Ever

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Some might say that NBC’s show, The Voice, is “gimmicky” — which it is. After all, the “battle rounds” take place in a boxing ring. Though it’s certainly ridiculous, it’s also one of my favorite new shows on television. In the battle round below, you’ll see Vicci Martinez and Niki Dawson sing Pink’s song, ‘Fu*kin Perfect,’ and Vicci Martinez completely blew me away. I’d like to take this moment to predict her future success, so that if I’m right, I can brag about it for years to come. If I’m wrong . . . well . . . I can always delete the post.
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Sunday

22

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Dancing With the Stars’ Hines Ward — NFL’s “Dirtiest” Player

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While catching up on last week’s ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ I thought to myself, “gee, that Hines Ward is such a cuddly teddy bear.  In fact, I just want to hug him and pinch his cheeks.”  Since I don’t know much about him, I decided to do some research.  Turns out, he’s not so cuddly after all.  Two years ago, Ward’s peers voted him the “dirtiest player” in the NFL.  Apparently, he broke the jaw of Bengals’ Keith Rivers, with a “surprise downfield block.” I put that line from Sports Illustrated in quotations, because I have absolutely no idea what it means, so I’m unable to paraphrase.  And in case that annoys you, please make a personal phone call to my father, whose sibling favoritism resulted in my brother’s attendance at every football game.   But enough about me.  Anyways, Ward responded to the criticism by saying, “when I go across the middle, those guys aren’t going to tackle me softly and lay me down to the ground. That’s not football. I find it ironic that now you see a receiver delivering blows, and it’s an issue. But I haven’t changed. I’ve been doing it this way for 11 years.”  Again, I have no idea what “going across the middle” means, but it sounds serious.  Authentic teddy bears are hard to find, I suppose.

Sunday

22

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Weekly Recap

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  • Rachel McAdams & Michael Sheen confirmed their romance.  Celebrific
  • Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler had gay sex, but he didn’t like it.  Gawker
  • January Jones might have been impregnated by a married man.  The Superficial
  • Singer Michael Buble released his wedding pictures. His wife is very hot.  Just Jared
  • Ginnifer Goodwin called off her engagement.  Jezebel
  • Gossip Girl’s Penn Badgley moved on from ex-girlfriend Blake Lively and is reportedly dating Jessica McNamee.  Starpulse
  • Alex Pettyfer is doing some serious PR damage control.  The Frisky