THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Monday

16

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Demi Lovato Shows Bikini Body on Twitter — Brave and Terrifying

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I’ve been vocal about my aversion to unnecessary twitter revelations, but I’ll make an exception for Demi Lovato, who has been extremely vocal about her body image issues.  In fact, Lovato recently went to rehab for such issues, and apparently — the rehab worked.  Nothing says fully healed like showing the entire world what you look like in a bikini. Though I’ve never had an eating disorder myself, that doesn’t mean I don’t make a valiant attempt to walk out of every room backwards.  In fact, it’s a personal rule to only wear a bikini in foreign countries.  So Good job, Demi — can I get the name of your therapist? To see her rockin’ bikini body, click the link below.

Demi Lovato’s Bikini Body

Saturday

14

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Week-in-Review

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  • Pussycat Dolls front-woman, Nicole Sherzinger, might be engaged to Lewis Hamilton.  Starpulse
  • The Biggest Loser’s Jillian Michaels revealed plans to adopt a baby.  SheKnows
  • Hayden Panettiere and her very tall boyfriend, Vladamir Klitschko broke up.  BigLead
  • Angelina Jolie got a new tattoo of the coordinates where Brad Pitt was born.  Celebrity Thing
  • Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver split up.  Astrochicks

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Saturday

14

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Glee Covers Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ — Better Version?

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When I first listened to Rebecca Black’s much buzzed about song, ‘Friday, I was extremely confused. “This song is abominable,” I thought. So you can imagine my horror when I heard that ‘Glee’ would cover the song. I watched the episode, and as it turns out, the song isn’t so bad after all. It just goes to show you — get the right machine behind a song, and you can transform it. Listen below.
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Saturday

14

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Ashton Kutcher Replacing Charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’ — Brilliant!

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Of all the names thrown around to replace Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher is by far the best. Though I’m unsure anyone can rescue a show that lost it’s star, Kutcher is certainly worth betting on. First, he’s a social media superstar, which will help people get excited about the transition. And second, he’s a television titan. In recent years, Kutcher has made a valiant attempt at a movie career, which has fallen flat. Some actors just aren’t meant for the movie business, and Kutcher is one of them. He’s a Television star who hit it big on ‘That 70′s Show,’ and something tells me he’ll hit it big again on this one. Plus, he’s getting paid bank, which makes his decision a win-win regardless of the outcome.

Saturday

14

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Cher Admits Struggle With Chaz Bono’s Sex Change

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For a gay icon, it’s pretty brave of Cher to admit her personal struggle with her daughter’s sex change. She was brutally honest in a recent interview, saying she was “traumatized” after hearing her daughter’s old voice on an answering machine, because she knew she would “never hear that voice again.” She also said she was terrified to see Chaz after the surgery, and it’s still difficult to use the word “him” when referring to her child. This might be a good time to admit my undying love for Cher. She’s completely unafraid to reveal intimate details about her life in the press, yet she’s still able to maintain the majority of her private-life. It’s a delicate dance, and she executes it perfectly.

Saturday

14

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Jesse James Bashes Sandra Bullock to Piers Morgan — Gigantic Douchebag?

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Allow me to start this post by saying I’ve been in a lot of relationships with total douchebags, and I still don’t discuss the full extent of their douchebaggery. Why? — Because I’m a lady — and I have some class. And since I’m certain Sandra Bullock is nowhere near the douchebag that my exes were, can someone please explain what exactly is wrong with Jesse James? In a recent interview with Piers Morgan, James implied that Bullock was insincere about her love for him. When asked about Bullock’s public claim that her work improved after they met, James said that she “gave that speech at four different awards shows.” If that’s true, then why did he sit in the audience in his monkey suit with tearful eyes while accepted her Oscar? Here’s the bottom line: divorced or not, there’s a certain level of respect that you give the people you spent part of your life with. There’s a code — and he’s broken it.

Saturday

14

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Sarah Michelle Gellar Hates Buffy Reboot Idea — Wasn’t Her Show a Rip-Off Too?

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Sarah Michelle Gellar has trashed the idea of remaking the film, ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, saying, “I think it’s a horrible idea. To try to do a ‘Buffy’ without Joss Whedon, I mean that’s, like, honestly, to be incredibly non-eloquent: that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. It was a movie. It’s been made. It stars Kristy Swanson. They made it. They don’t need to make another one!” Um . . . am I missing something? If Sarah Michelle Gellar’s objection is that the remake idea is unoriginal, one could say the exact same thing about the television show that made her famous, since it was based on the original film. Furthermore, the original film was terrible, so I’m not sure why there’s such an objection to executing a famous concept with a better writer.

Saturday

14

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

Movie Review: ‘Water For Elephants’

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There are times when I have absolutely no constructive criticism for a movie gone awry. This is one of those cases. To put it simply, the movie is boring. Jacob Jankowski plays a veterinary school student whose final exam is interrupted by the news of his parents death. Lost and sad, he randomly boards a train out of town. As it turns out, he hopped a circus train, and he swings a job shoveling manure for the circus until the head trainer, August (Christoph Waltz), promotes him to be the veterinarian. While tending to the animals, he sees Marlena (Reese Witherspoon) and immediately falls in love. Marlena returns his affection, but since she’s married to August, and August is a tyrant, they can’t be together. That’s the story in a nutshell. I couldn’t figure out if this movie was supposed to focus on the circus or the love story. If it was meant to focus on the circus, then it’s done poorly. There’s not nearly enough content about the show itself to stay engaged or entertained. Sure, it’s interesting to see someone acting like a soulless prick while trying to keep a business afloat, but there has to be more than that to keep a film afloat. And if the film is meant to be a love story, I’d recommend that the director take a day watching and re-watching The Notebook, because this feels like a poor man’s version of that. Additionally, Rob Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon have zero chemistry.
OVERALL RATING: DISHSATISFIED

Saturday

14

May 2011

0

COMMENTS

‘The Voice’ Will Be Two Hours Now — Gigantic Waste of Time?

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I’ve never in my entire life watched a one-hour show and thought, “you know what would be really great — if this show was two hours long.” In fact, I often find myself infuriated when I’m forced to fast-forward through a large portion of Celebrity Apprentice, presumably because the producers think the show is so fantastic that they refuse to edit out the extraneous material. ‘The Voice’ is hopping on board the piss-off-The-Dishmaster train, by expanding their one hour show to two hours. I imagine that since the ratings are great, they want to use the show for all its worth, thereby maximizing their ad revenue. Here’s the problem — adding an hour fatigues the viewers and inevitably sacrifices the quality of the show. When you get greedy, you lose your cash-cow.

Thursday

12

May 2011

8

COMMENTS

Jennifer Lopez Hates Haley Reinhart’s ‘Earth Song’ — Is Chris Judd to Blame?

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I received a call from a friend tonight who keenly smelled a rat after watching Jennifer Lopez attack Haley Reinhart’s rendition of Michael Jackson’s ‘Earth Song.’ Lopez said that even though the song was “inspiring,” she needs to think about the competition itself when she performs, followed by a condescending use of the word “baby.” Since Jennifer Lopez consistently avoids criticizing the contestants, her comments were suspicious. As it turns out, Lopez’s first husband, Chris Judd, is directly connected to Haley’s song. In 1997, Judd performed the song with Michael Jackson during Jackson’s German tour. So did Lopez project her bad memories onto poor little Haley, who got a verbal ass-whooping? It’s unclear, but here is what I know for sure — the judges are terrible. Watch Haley’s performance below, and watch the second video to see Chris Judd with Michael Jackson (he appears at the eight minute mark).
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