THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Tuesday

15

March 2011

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COMMENTS

Music Spotlight: Jenny O. Plays at Diane Von Furstenberg’s Store

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My friend invited me to Jenny O.’s performance last night at Diane Von Furstenberg’s store, and I embarrassingly canceled at the last minute to attend the Paley Center’s American Idol panel.  I’m told by my drummer friends that Jenny O. was very good. Watch the video below and judge for yourself.  It’s excellent.

 

Saturday

12

March 2011

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COMMENTS

Jersey Shore Mystery: Why Do the “Grenades” Sign Waivers?

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If you watch Jersey Shore, then you’re familiar with the term “grenade.”  Basically, it describes a fat, ugly chick.  The guys on the show (who sometimes refer to themselves as “M.V.P’ — for Mike, Vinny, Pauly), often bring home hot chicks to their house, and those hot chicks sometimes bring their girlfriends along, and those girlfriends are problematic “grenades.”   What’s curious is that anyone who appears on the show has to sign a waiver allowing MTV to put their face on camera.  So why would any girl in their right mind allow MTV to put their face on camera after the guys on the show lambaste their looks?  Here’s the answer.  The waiver allows MTV the right to use their footage, no matter what’s discussed.  Since these women aren’t aware of their “grenade” status when they sign the waiver, they must be pretty damn confident with their looks.  Note to self: If I ever get invited to the Jersey Shore house — DON’T SIGN THE WAIVER.

Saturday

12

March 2011

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COMMENTS

Alec Baldwin to Charlie Sheen: “Beg for Your Job Back”

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When people ask me if I’m a “writer,” I always say no. I tell them I’m “aspiring.” The reason? Every so often I read articles like the one Alec Baldwin just wrote for Huffington Post, and it’s confirmed that I have a lot of work to do before I get there. Baldwin wrote an open letter to Charlie Sheen, and it’s brilliant. He told Sheen to “beg for his job back,” and he shared a very personal anecdote that illustrated his own frustrations with the entertainment industry. When I studied film in college, my professor actually discussed this story about Baldwin, and he told the class that Baldwin turned down the opportunity to star in the sequels to The Hunt for Red October, because he wanted to star in A Streetcar Named Desire on Broadway in hopes that it would solidify his status as an A-list actor. My professor said it’s considered one of the greatest blunders in Hollywood history. After reading Alec Baldwin’s recanting of what really happened, I’m convinced that Baldwin would kill my professor.  It turns out the the movie studio (Paramount) was negotiating simultaneous deals with Alec Baldwin and another A-list actor for the same part, thus breaking the law.  The movie studio owed this unnamed actor money for a previous deal that fell apart, and casting him in Alec’s role would not only save them money, but potentially help their film by casting someone who’s a bigger box-office draw.  The studio knew Alec wanted to star in the play, and they insisted that the production schedule could not accommodate Baldwin.  The implication from Baldwin’s letter is that the studio played hard-ball in hopes that Alec would drop out so they could employ the other actor.  If that’s true, it worked.  So what’s the thesis of Baldwin’s lesson?  “You can’t win,” and “no actor is greater than the show itself when the show is a hit.”  He therefore thinks Sheen should “sober up,” “get back on TV” and “buy John Cryer a really nice car.”

Saturday

12

March 2011

2

COMMENTS

John Cryer Makes Fun of Charlie Sheen’s Troll Comment — Funny or Inappropriate?

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Celebrity meltdowns are only funny when it’s about a spoiled brat learning a lesson. But when someone completely loses their mind, it’s no longer funny. The Charlie Sheen debacle was funny for the first five interviews, and then it became sad. So when Charlie Sheen called John Cryer a “troll,” I actually felt sorry for Sheen. He felt betrayed by Cryer, and he lashed out at him in one of his many insane fits. Cryer made fun of the accusation on Conan O’Brien, and I’m pretty sure it was in bad taste. Watch below and judge for yourself.

Saturday

12

March 2011

2

COMMENTS

Roger Ebert Annihilates ‘Battle: Los Angeles’ — Filmmakers Run for Cover

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I have to give Roger Ebert some unneeded credit from The Dishmaster.  He’s so brilliant, I often pinch myself about having lived with him in the same era.  In his Battle: Los Angeles review, Ebert basically tore the film to shreds, calling it, “noisy, violent, ugly, and stupid.”  He also asked whether they give “razzies for special effects,” saying that “the lazy editing style assumes nothing need make any sense visually.”  As an example, Ebert said, “From time to time, there’ll be a closeup of Aaron Eckhart screaming something . . . and on either side of that shot, there will be unrelated shots of incomprehensible action.”  To put the nail in the coffin, Ebert closed his review by citing the “Generations of filmmakers [who] devoted their lives to perfecting techniques that a director like Jonathan Liebesman is either ignorant of, or indifferent to. Yet he is given millions of dollars to produce this assault on the attention span of a generation.”  If you’re familiar with Roger Ebert, then you know that you might want to stay out of his way when he hates your movie.  Just ask Rob Schneider and Kick-Ass.  To read a list of the best quotes from Ebert’s review, Movieline laid it out quite nicely.

Saturday

12

March 2011

1

COMMENTS

Steven Soderbergh Quits Film? — Does Success Make People Lazy?

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Steven Soderbergh announced that he’ll likely quit the film industry, saying, “it’s time.”  “When you reach the point where you’re like if I have to get into a van to do another scout I’m just going to shoot myself, it’s time to let somebody else who’s still excited about getting in the van, get in the van.”  Can somebody please explain to me when successful people got so damn lazy?  First Billy Joel refuses to write new music, and then Phil Collins announces his retirement.  Doesn’t Steven Soderbergh have more work to do?  How many successful films did Steven Spielberg churn out before he got lazy?  Oh yeah — he’s still working.  I guess Spielberg likes his van.

Saturday

12

March 2011

1

COMMENTS

Simon Cowell on Elton John — “Take Your Money and Help Upcoming Musicians”

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Simon Cowell doesn’t only pick on the little guy — he takes on giants too.  In response to Elton John’s comments about X-Factor “hurting the music industry,” Cowell said, “This is somebody who charges what, a million dollars a private gig? Two million dollars, you know? . . . I tell you what, you just made a million dollars off your last private gig. Go and give it to a bunch of young musicians you care about, put them in the studio. Go and nurture them. Go and spend some time looking after them. Then I’ll buy your argument.”  Good point, Simon.  I’m sick and tired of music titans insulting the current state of the industry and doing nothing about it.  Did I mention that I had a recent dream that I made out with Simon Cowell?  He was a very good kisser.

Friday

11

March 2011

0

COMMENTS

Aaron Eckhart Tells Women’s Health Magazine He Likes an “Active” Woman — We’re Not Soul-Mates

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Aaron Eckhart recently interviewed with Women’s Health Magazine to promote his new film, Battle: Los Angeles, and he told the magazine about his ideal woman, saying, “I love women who will play tennis with me, cycle with me, ski, snowboard, surf… any of it. A woman who takes care of herself turns me on.”  Just when I thought that a Jew and a Mormon could live happily ever after, my dreams were destroyed.  Aaron’s disclosure reminds me of the time I got asked out on a date by an “active” guy.  When he asked if I like mountain biking, I said, “of course.”  I’m not quite sure what tipped him off to my lie.  Perhaps it was when I couldn’t get over a hill and fell off the bike into a pile of mud.  Though I still fancy myself “athletic,” something tells me Aaron Eckhart won’t be playing tennis with me anytime soon.

Tuesday

8

March 2011

2

COMMENTS

The Paley Center — Hot in Cleveland — Recap

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I was lucky enough to get invited to the Hot in Cleveland panel at The Paley Center.  The panel included: Betty White; Valerie Bertinelli; Wendie Malick; Jane Leeves; and series creator Suzanne Martin.  This was probably the best event I’ve ever been invited to since moving to Los Angeles.  First, it was incredible to see Betty White’s improvisational comedic brilliance in action.  I’ve seen her execute this unique talent on various talk-shows, but seeing it in person will be forever etched in my memory.  White discussed how she only planned to star in the Hot in Cleveland pilot, because her intense work schedule didn’t allow her time for the series.  Because she “has the backbone of a jelly-fish,” as White put it, she relented after much coddling from the studio.   When an audience member asked the panel to choose their all-time favorite co-stars, White said, “Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty.”  I’m not embarrassed to say that I got slightly choked up by her response.  After seeing these women interact, it’s clear to me that they actually like each other’s company.  I can spot a Hollywood lie when I see it, and these ladies are legitimate.  Wendie Malick was also a favorite, not only because she snorts when she laughs, but also because she had a very funny description of Susan Lucci, saying, “Lucci’s so tiny, her leg is as big as my arm.”  Malick also had a hilarious exchange with Valerie Bertinelli.  When Bertinelli said she removed the part of her wall where she measured her son’s height because of its sentimental value, Malick asked, “did the house fall down?”  The panel laughed, at which point Suzanne joked that she gets her material from the actors true personalities.  It’s always fun to see the origin of how great television shows are made, and these ladies certainly delivered the information in an entertaining way.  My only critique involves the moderator, who wasn’t equipped for such a hefty task.  When I turned to my friend to lambaste the moderator’s terrible questions, a woman behind me barked in my direction, saying, “I completely disagree.  She was good because she got out of the way.”  If “getting out of the way” means excessive gushing coupled with impertinent questions, then yeah, she got out of the way.  Thank goodness these comedic veterans were equipped to run the show.

Tuesday

8

March 2011

0

COMMENTS

American Idol Performances Not Live — Are the Producers Incompetent?

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Fox announced that this week’s American Idol will be pre-taped because there is a “new director and new judges, and it has nothing to do with manipulation.”  Though I agree that this has nothing to do with manipulation, I’m certain it has everything to do with incompetence.  It takes a lot of skill to produce a live show, and pre-taping it is a cop-out way of saying they can’t execute the task.  Furthermore, the essence of American Idol’s brand is that it’s a live show, so this is preposterous.  I’d like to also add that I feel terrible for the audience this week, because if you ever gone to a non-live show taping, then you know it’s absolute torture to sit through five hours of taping for a one hour show.  To put things in perspective, they often don’t even let you leave to pee.  Yeah — you heard me.