Katy Perry just topped the Billboard top 100 chart with her new single, Firework, and she might have to send Coldplay a bouquet of flowers for the achievement. Why? Because the song is a blatant rip-off of Coldplay’s Viva La Vida. The overlap is so insane I actually looked it up to see if Coldplay consented to letting her cover their song. They didn’t. This isn’t the first Katy Perry “overlap.” Her song, California Gurls, sounds like Ke$ha’s Tik Tok, except those two songs were written by the same guy, which explains the similarity. That excuse doesn’t fly this time around. Listen below and judge for yourself (hint: listen to the chorus).
Howard Stern Renews With Sirius — YAY!!!
I’m going to keep this short and sweet. Howard Stern renewed his deal with Sirius, and will be on the radio for another five years. That not only means that he won’t abandon his staff in this terrible economy, but also that I don’t have to cry every morning in memory of the radio show that makes each of my days a little brighter. On yesterday’s show he said there was one major sticking point left in his negotiations, but he would not reveal what it was, only admitting that it made him feel disrespected. I assume that Sirius folded, because Stern doesn’t seem like the concession kind of guy. Did I mention that I love Howard Stern?! Also, I’d like to get some credit for predicting this.
Ryan Gosling Admits he Pissed off Peter Jackson by Gaining Weight
Sometimes actors take themselves a little too seriously, and Ryan Gosling is no exception. He was originally cast in The Lovely Bones, and he unilaterally decided to put on 60 pounds, because that is how he envisioned the character. I don’t want to question Gosling’s intelligence, but don’t you think that you would ask the director of your film if he agrees with your vision before you start to “melt ice cream and drink it.” That’s quite the weighty risk (pun intended). The role eventually went to the very in-shape Mark Wahlberg.
Is ‘The View’s’ Product Placement Working?
No one is a bigger fan of The View than The Dishmaster, but Sherri Shepherd’s commercials during the show must stop. I understand that the network has to make money, and this seems like a creative way to do it, but it simply doesn’t work. First, it’s not technically “product placement.” Product placement occurs when someone within a television show uses a product, and the audience notices it without even thinking it’s a commercial. It’s akin to your mother sneaking carrots in your brownies. Second, because it’s completely obvious when Sherri begins to endorse the product, I simply fast forward through it, as if it’s a regular commercial. See the problem? This ridiculous idea started when Rosie was on The View, and they tried to continue it after she left. The difference is that when Rosie gave gifts to the audience she made it seem as if she really used the product and spent her own personal funds to gift the audience with something she genuinely thought they might like. She wasn’t simply pimping out products because she was paid to do so.
Tommy Lee Says SeaWorld Masturbates Its Whale
Ummmm . . . what? Tommy Lee wrote SeaWorld an angry letter, which made its way to TMZ, probably because Tommy cc’d them. Anyways, Tommy says SeaWorld masturbates its whale to get its sperm for mating. According to Tommy, this is done by a man who hops in the pool with a cow’s vagina and . . . well, you get it. Anyone need a job? He wants the whale released into the wild. Alright, I just vomited.
Has Glee’s Darren Criss Let Fame Go to His Head Already?
I hope I’m wrong about this, but since I’m never wrong, I doubt it. Alright — that’s a joke — even The Dishmaster isn’t that egotistical. Darren Criss is the new golden boy on Glee, and he’s been all over the news since his first appearance on the show singing Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream. I’ve seen him in interviews since, and his head seems to be getting so big it just might explode. So either I’m wrong and he needs a good PR person to help him circumvent that image, or his head really is too big. I’m guessing it’s the latter. I’m only posting this as a warning for him to be careful. It’s a small industry, so image control is extremely important. The guy is talented, but so are a lot of people. Click the link below to watch his recent Rolling Stone interview, and look at the picture on the right to see the glasses he wore to the AMAs recently. You tell me if I’m right. I’ve also posted his brilliant rendition of Teenage Dream just to show that I’m capable of compliments.
Ed O’Neill Insults Jane Lynch’s Emmy Award — Is Scrooge Here Early?
Can someone please explain to me why celebrities need to be complete assholes and insult other celebrities? Modern Family’s Ed O’Neill recently said, “I love Jane, honestly I do . . . but I don’t think she should have gotten the Emmy for that part. [Sue Sylvester] is just a one-note character.” So who put the stick in O’Neill’s ass, and why did he feel the need to gratuitously insult Lynch (who I have on very good authority is one of the nicest women in the business)? Here’s my educated guess: Ryan Murphy (the creator of Glee) recently insulted Modern Family for their portrayal of the gay couple on the show, saying it’s ridiculous that the two men never kiss. Modern Family creators were pissed at Murphy for his statements, though they suspiciously executed a gay kiss shortly thereafter. Perhaps O’Neill wants to keep the war going, and therefore decided to take a dig at Glee? Oh yeah — and Sofia Vargera lost the Emmy to Jane Lynch.
Fox Created the American Country Awards? Country Music Overload?
Thanks to Fox, there are now four awards shows dedicated exclusively to country music: The CMA Awards, the ACM awards, the CMT awards, and now the American Country Awards (soon to be called the ACA awards, I imagine). So why the country music overload, and should Carrie Underwood even be flattered that she won Artist of the Year at this newly created event? Well, awards shows generate a lot of money, so Fox started to see dollar signs and created an excuse to get a bunch of celebrities in a room together. After all, isn’t that why Dick Clark created the American Music Awards? If they wanted a celebrity gathering to draw ratings, I assume they could have also brought cameras into a Los Angeles plastic surgeon’s office, but then the famous people wouldn’t be wearing pretty ball-gowns, and where’s the fun in that?
It’s Official! — Skating With the Stars is the Dumbest Idea Ever
I don’t want to gloat about being correct about this, but, as predicted, two skaters were injured on the new ABC show, Skating With the Stars. Brandon Michal Smith was hospitalized for breathing problems, and Brooke Castille sliced her finger open. And before a bunch of assholes tell me the show is cursed, I’d like to refer you to my previous post about how it’s not a “curse” if the problem resulted from some network idiots making poor decisions. Here’s an idea for a new show: take a bunch of fat people and force them to go rock climbing on one of the highest mountains in the world. Doesn’t that sound fantastic!? The more life-threatening the task — the better!
Will Howard Stern Re-Sign With Sirius? — All Signs Point to Yes
Here’s what I know about deal-making in Hollywood. It’s often a mess, and it takes a lot of time. This is especially true when the talent is difficult, and Howard Stern fits the bill. He’s a notorious curmudgeon, and he’s been very open about his lengthy contract negotiations with Sirius. So what’s the holdup, and will the deal fall apart? I say no, and here’s why. First, I’ve been a Howard Stern fan since my father used to play him in his car when I was a teenager — and if there’s anything I’ve learned about Stern — it’s that he’s a raging egomaniac who wouldn’t leave Sirius without an elaborate party involving news crews and a megaphone. No such party is planned, because he’s still knee deep in contract negotiations in hopes of re-signing. I imagine that there are three major sticking points and both sides are holding firm. I doubt it’s money related. Stern probably wants more vacation days and less hours on air. Sirius knows that it would defeat his morning radio brand, and that Sirius subscribers are already pissed enough about his insane vacation schedule. So who will give, and when will we know? I predict Sirius will fold in a couple of days, and Stern will sign. Why? Because if Stern doesn’t re-sign prior to his last day on the air, Sirius loses the insane amount of promotion they stand to gain with the announcement. If I’m right about this, I’d like my readers to give me an electronic pat on the back. Get ready.
UPDATE: Howard Stern is rumored to be making a three year, $600 million deal with Apple’s iTunes. Stern refused to put the rumors completely to rest, cryptically saying that he is intentionally keeping tight-lipped about his negotiations. I still think he’ll stick with Sirius, but if he’s actually being offered this insane amount of money (which I don’t think he is), you can be sure he’ll accept. Who the fu*k turns down $600 million?