I don’t know when Oprah shifted gears and became the National Enquirer, but it’s time to class-up the show again. Oprah plans to interview Mel Gibson’s former mistress, Oksana Grigorieva, presumably to confirm that Mel Gibson is psychotic. This isn’t the first time Oprah has interviewed a mistress. She also interviewed John Edwards’ baby mama about their affair. In case you missed that Rielle Hunter interview, I can personally confirm that she also drank the crazy juice. Who’s next — Rachel Uchitel? The only reason these people are famous is because of who they slept with, so unless Oprah plans on interviewing the actual celebrity involved in the affair, I’m not interested.
I read a very entertaining Daily Beast interview with Kyle Killen, the creator of the recently canceled Fox show, Lone Star. He hoped the interview would help keep the show on the air. It didn’t work. Fox canceled it after just two episodes. Killen intrigued me enough to HULU the show, and I figured out the problem within the first fifteen minutes. The main character isn’t likable. He’s a con man with two wives, and he loves them both, and hopes to leave the business and “go straight.” The premise is flawed. You can’t have an unlikable main character, unless he’s a “crook with a heart.” But where’s the heart in loving two women? Is he a Mormon? Here’s how it should have been written: He should have had the two wives, but loved only one of them, with the other one unlikable. That way we know where his heart is, yet there would still be some juicy plot entanglement with the unlikable woman. Furthermore, the lead was a miscast. He’s far too young to pull off the double wife look. You can see his picture, along with the “wives,” below. Personally, I would have cast James Tupper. Perhaps I’ll get a call from the writer’s room next time around — a girl can dream.
Sure twitter is interesting when it’s three in the morning and I’m suffering from insomnia. But when I exit cube-dom at the end of the day and turn on my television, I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than watch a show about Twitter. The new concept is called Shh, Don’t Tell Steve, and it’s based on the somewhat entertaining tweets of a man about the ridiculous happenings of his roommate. Can’t the Hollywood creanderthals think of anything more interesting? I realize that a person’s twitter page might be interesting, but then scoop up the tweeter as a writer, instead of actually making a show about the tweets itself. What’s the next step? A show about what it’s like to be a Starbucks barista, inspired by a creanderthal’s morning coffee run? Oh that’s right — they don’t get their own coffee.
We all know that my celebrity look-alike posts need some serious work. But what about my celebrity match-making skills? Well, here goes nothing. Garry Shandling appeared on Howard Stern today to promote the Iron Man 2 DVD, and I noticed an interesting romantic connection between Shandling and Stern’s leading lady, Robin Quivers. Shandling often tried to engage Quivers during the interview, and Stern predictably squashed the side-conversation, because he likes to dominate his interviews. Shandling confessed that he’s never been married, but isn’t opposed to the idea. Since Stern has been discussing a Bachelorette-style dating show for Quivers, perhaps Shandling will make the list.
On the Season 7 premiere of Desperate Housewives, I noticed something very interesting. Well, interesting in Dishmaster land, anyhow. Ricardo Chavira (also known as “Carlos”) seems to have lost a lot of weight, and I almost didn’t recognize him. Have the men on the show been infected with the Desperate Housewives disease? If you don’t know what I’m referring to, Dana Delany once said in an interview that when she started her role on the show as Katherine Mayfair, a costume designer warned her about catching the “Desperate Housewives disease,” which is an “unspoken competitive weightloss” amongst the lead actresses. Delaney said that even her on-screen daughter lost ten pounds. Judging from last night’s episode, he lost more than ten pounds. Watch a recent PSA with Ricardo below, where you can see the weight loss.
Courtney Cox has once again discussed the Cougar Town scene where she poses in her bra and underwear, and exposes her “flaws.” Apparently, both she and Jennifer Aniston thought the scene was “brave.” Though I find her confession adorable, is there anything brave about a hot chick posing in a bikini? Sure, she’s forty, but her body is flawless, despite her protestations that her stomach has “changed” since having a child. What “change” is she referring to? The flatness? The abs? If you click the link below, I think you’ll agree. Here’s my suggestion: give me a role on Cougar Town and have me pose in a bikini. Now that would be brave.
Forgive me for being one of those emotionally devoid people that gets uncomfortable when others weep. But isn’t Dancing With the Stars supposed to be a safe venue for people like me? It’s a dancing show, so you would think that the stars would actually dance, instead of standing around crying all the time. And it’s not just the stars that cry. Carrie Ann Inaba makes a habit of it, and it consistently irks me. There’s a small part of me that wonders if the segment producers walk into the rehearsal room and say, “you know what the viewers would love? Just start hysterically crying about the frustrations of dance.” Anyways, this is a family show. So keep your therapy sessions off-screen.
I’ve been in Bret Michaels’ corner since his Rock of Love days, where I overlooked his STD-filled bachelor pad, because the show was so darn entertaining. I even turned a blind eye to his ridiculous hair extensions. But this Billboard Magazine cover has officially crossed the line. He’s completely naked, and covered in some kind of goo. He also looks manorexic. Perhaps I should take back all my female-driven attacks about gratuitously posing naked. Apparently, men can do it too. To see the cover in question, click the link below.
Bret Michaels Covered in Goo
UPDATE: Billboard released the un-airbrushed version of the cover to prove that Bret’s abs are real. Click here to see it.
If you were one of the cool kids in high school, you would have heard about the band, Soul Coughing. As for me, I often eavesdropped on the cool kids, and I once heard them mention the band. I immediately bought the album and played it endlessly. Mike Doughty fronted the group, and they released three records before splitting, with my favorite being El Oso. But like most all-male bands, their hormones got the best of them, and they split amongst in-fighting. When recently asked about a reunion tour, Doughty said, “I get more and more afraid that a reunion is going to be forced upon me at knife-point. I don’t need money that bad. I swear to God. To become a billionaire…okay. If they poked out one my eyes, I would reform Soul Coughing so they didn’t poke out the other one. Oh, man.” And there you have it. It’s amazing that in every universe except music, it’s the chicks that fight. Doughty has since launched a solo career, and he’s currently signed by Dave Matthews’ label, ATO Records. Listen to the Soul Coughing song, Super Bon Bon, below.
There’s nothing more disgusting than a man with a mustache. Especially when said man attempts to hit on me, and I think, “do you seriously think I’d accept a sexual proposition from a man with a mustache?” Then I got to thinking — there is at least one man in the world that can successfully pull off a mustache, and still look yummy in the process. That man is Tom Selleck. After using my very large brain to figure out what it is about Selleck that makes him stache-tastic, I’m at a loss. Is it the thickness? Please take the time to come up with an explanation in the comments section below.
I don’t know when Oprah shifted gears and became the National Enquirer, but it’s time to class-up the show again. Oprah plans to interview Mel Gibson’s former mistress, Oksana Grigorieva, presumably to confirm that Mel Gibson is psychotic. This isn’t the first time Oprah has interviewed a mistress. She also interviewed John Edwards’ baby mama about their affair. In case you missed that Rielle Hunter interview, I can personally confirm that she also drank the crazy juice. Who’s next — Rachel Uchitel? The only reason these people are famous is because of who they slept with, so unless Oprah plans on interviewing the actual celebrity involved in the affair, I’m not interested.
