Freida Pinto tells GQ that she was afraid to be type-cast as the hot girl after Slumdog Millionaire. Wow, that’s such an interesting confession, especially since she’s posing in a short leather skirt while leaning up against a radiator. I wonder if that will help her get more “serious” roles. If you’re an avid fan of The Dishmaster, you would know that I constantly pick on woman for their come-fuck-me poses in magazines. I can already anticipate the backlash for this post, and as a pre-emptive strike, I’d encourage you to Google Freida Pinto, and you will see that almost every single article title that references this GQ interview, refers to her “sultry” photos. I’m surprised she did an interview at all actually, since none of the quotes will be picked up by the press. I’d also like to point you to the cover of the same magazine, where Ryan Reynolds is fully clothed, despite the fact that he has a very serious six-pack. Do you think that the photographer asked Reynolds to also strip down, and he wisely said no? Actually, if I’m being fair, Reynolds is pretty guilty, considering he often poses sans clothing on magazine covers.
Dean Sheremet Calls-Out Leann Rimes — He’s a Rock-Star
Dean Sheremet responded to Leann Rimes ridiculous interview with Shape magazine, where she rudely spoke on his behalf and said that they were both unsatisfied with their marriage. It’s one thing to do a magazine interview and speak for yourself, it’s another to justify your infidelity by speaking on behalf of your partner. I especially like Dean though, because he didn’t allow her to get away with it, telling Us Magazine that he was “content and satisfied” with their marriage, and that he was “blindsided and shocked that she of all people would do this to the closest person in her life.” What’s particularly interesting about Rimes, is how awful she is handling this in the press. There have been many respected, leading ladies that cheated on their significant others and remained unscathed in the press. But not Rimes. Instead, she unnecessarily flaunts her relationship on twitter, and does dishonest interviews.
It’s Official: The Apprentice Needs Celebrities
I’m unsure who the culprit is at NBC who thought it was a good idea to return to Trump’s original Apprentice format, but they might be in the midst of a stern tongue-lashing. The Non-Celebrity Apprentice (my title, not NBC’s) aired to horrific ratings on Thursday, with just 4.5 million viewers. Why? Because no one cares anymore about non-celebrities on reality television. When The Apprentice originally aired, it was a success because of the gimmick format. Once people got used to it, they got tired of the show. The celebrity format resurrected it, because the public is actually interested in whether celebrities can rub two brain cells together. And with Bret Michaels’ surprise capability last season (i.e. he can actually make smart business choices that don’t involve how to avoid herpes from slutty hookers on Rock of Love), I’m surprised the producers returned to the original style. Good job, guys.
Best Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes
Arnold Schwarzenegger is a very funny man, which is a fact that many people don’t know. Dax Shepard actually inspired this post, when he revealed to Howard Stern that Tom Arnold invited him to hang out with Schwarzenegger. When Schwarzenegger told Shepard how much he loved his movies, Shepard was flattered. That is, until Tom Arnold later confessed that after Shepard left the table, Schwarzenegger said, “who the hell is that?” Leave it to Schwarzenegger to inflate the ego of a man he’s never heard of. And now for the hilarious quote list. Picture his accent while you read — it definitely adds to the entertainment value.
Arnold’s tweet on Sarah Palin (while flying over Alaska)
“[I am] looking everywhere but can’t see Russia.”
Arnold on pumping iron (said during his film, Pumping Iron)
It’s as satisfying to me as, uh, cumming is, you know? As, ah, having sex with a woman and cumming. And so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like, uh, getting the feeling of cumming in a gym, I’m getting the feeling of cumming at home, I’m getting the feeling of cumming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it’s terrific.
On Pot
“Marijuana is not a drug, it’s a leaf”
On his decision to run for Governor
“It was the most difficult decision in my life – except the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.”
After being pelted with an egg at a political rally
“This guy owes me bacon now . . . you can’t have egg without bacon.”
On his money
“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”
On his height
“I’m 6’2″. I’ve heard rumors that I’m really much shorter in real life – like 5’6″ or something like that – which is ridiculous. I can assure you this is not the case. People look up to me, and not just because I do a lot of work in the community. I mean, most people really look up to me.”
On running for Governor
“There’s a lot of people who want me to get out of acting and want me to run for governor. I think it’s mostly movie critics.”
Letterman in on Phoenix Hoax — Betrayed by Writer?
It’s bad enough that Casey Affleck duped me with his ridiculous Joaquin Phoenix mockumentary, but now I find out that Letterman was in on it? How dare he! Letterman’s writer, Bill Scheft, told Nuvo.com that Letterman knew prior to his interview with Phoenix that the whole thing was “all an act.” I can’t decide what I’m more angry about: that Letterman tricked me, or that Bill Scheft betrayed Letterman by revealing the truth. Allow me to explain. Your job as Letterman’s writer is to make him look funny, not to promote your fantastic joke writing skills. We all know that there is a slew of writers for each Late Night show, as it would be impossible for one man to single-handedly write his own jokes every night. That being said, when you take an interview that was solely funny based on the premise that Letterman schooled Phoenix for his misbehavior, and expose that it was a trick, you’ve revealed the Wizard, and I don’t want to see the Wizard. Learning the ins-and-outs of how shows get made, and who writes what joke, destroys the mystery. So thank you, Mr. Scheft, for ruining one of my favorite Letterman interviews of all time. In the future, keep the Wizard behind his curtain.
Verdict In — Casey Affleck Lied — Admits ‘I’m Still Here’ is a Hoax
Sometimes actors get an idea in their head that they are actually brilliant, and acting is merely a vehicle for them to enter a more difficult artistic medium, such as directing. But to quote the great Alfred Hitchcock, actors are merely sheep. That brings me to Casey Affleck, who got the idea in his pea-sized-head to make a documentary about Joaquin Phoenix, chronicling his descent into depression and drug addiction. Despite his previous denials, he now admits the film is in fact a “hoax,” which technically makes it a mockumentary instead of a documentary. Call me a humorless bore, but I don’t like being duped, and there’s nothing funny about Affleck’s concept. As for Phoenix’s genius agent at William Morris, my advice is that you should have immediately dropped Phoenix when you learned about his choice to do this film. And since you didn’t, Phoenix should now fire you for not stopping him. That brings me to my closing tagline — good job, guys. Further Reading: Casey Affleck Says Joaquin Phoenix Documentary Not a Hoax — Is he Lying or Evil?
Kim Kardashian Takes Mona Lisa Picture — With a Flash
If you have ever been to Paris to see the Mona Lisa, you would know that the process is a bit of nightmare. Why? Because there are a ton of assholes standing around the painting with their cameras, snapping pictures with their flashes on. It turns out that Kim Kardashian is amongst the assholes. She recently posted a picture on her twitter page standing in front of the Mona Lisa, and you can see the flash reflecting off the glass behind her. Everyone knows that flash based photography ruins paintings, but the Louvre maintains that it’s impossible to police in such a high-volume area. Here’s my question: if the Louvre can’t even get its act together enough to control photographs of their most coveted painting, how do they control theft? I hope Mona Lisa is armed, because she might have to protect herself. Further Reading: How Kim Kardashian Stole Paris Hilton’s Life.
Dear Sirius — You’re Doomed Without Howard Stern
Many people don’t remember how they first heard about satellite radio, but I’ll remind them — it’s because of Howard Stern. Before Stern publicly announced that he was moving his terrestrial radio show to Sirius, satellite radio was an urban legend. So with the news that Joe Namath will host a radio show on Sirius, I couldn’t help but wonder whether the folks over at Sirius have any idea about what goes in to a decent radio show. You can’t just pull any famous name off the street, give them a radio show, and hope for the best. You have to find someone seasoned — someone who spent years polishing their craft — someone like Howard Stern. But with every entertainment medium suffering, I suppose I cannot expect radio to understand how to seek out new talent. Even the record industry is incapable of doing this. I get the feeling that Sirius no longer thinks Howard Stern is worth the $100 million per year they originally paid him, and Stern feels disrespected by their current offer. Plus, Sirius keeps putting big names on their stations, in hopes that it will generate the same devoted base that Stern created, but to no avail. Have you not learned your lesson yet guys? After all, they paid Oprah $60 million dollars, and the woman never even appears on her own station — they just play repeats of her television show. Did I mention that she hasn’t once even uttered the name “Sirius” on her own television show? Good job guys for not working that into her contract. But I’m digressing. Here’s my point — pay the guy the $100 million — otherwise, start making those bankruptcy phone calls now. Further Reading: Will Howard Stern Leave Sirius for an Adam Curry Podcast?
Vintage David Letterman — A Very Funny Jim Parsons Interview
I have a couple of confessions to make before writing this post. First, I tricked you with my title. Jim Parsons’ Letterman interview was taped in May of this year, which is not exactly “vintage,” but I had to think of a clever title to make up for the fact that I missed this great interview when it originally aired. To assuage my embarrassment, I’d like to remind you that celebrities often wear dresses on the red carpet that they call “vintage,” which basically just means it wasn’t hand-made with them in mind. Remember Reese Witherspoon’s “vintage” Chanel dress at the Golden Globes, which was actually worn by Kirsten Dunst the year before? My second confession is that I don’t watch the Big Bang Theory, despite its incredible success. But after watching the interview below, I might have to start. Jim Parsons recently picked up an Emmy for his role on the show, which I’m guessing he seriously deserves. Watch and enjoy!
Did You Know: Jason Ritter is John Ritter’s Son?
I might be the dumbest Dishmaster in the world for not knowing this, but I seriously had no idea that Jason Ritter was John Ritter’s son, until Amy Yasbeck mentioned it on The View yesterday, while promoting her new book, With Love and Laughter. I suppose I should have known given the last names, but I’ve seen Jason in many roles, and never placed the name with the face. Jason is one of four of John Ritter’s children, three of which (including Jason) are from his first marriage to Nancy Morgan. John had his youngest child, Stella, during his second marriage to Yasbeck, and he died when she was just five years old. John Ritter is up there with John Candy as a celebrity death that I mourned like the loss of a personal family member. I loved him. This post provides a good opportunity for a funny John Ritter clip, from Pyramid. Watch until the very end to hear his hilarious line.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj8ybfSiVwE&feature=related