Sofia Coppola’s ‘Somewhere’ — The Buzz at Venice

Here at The Dishmaster, I admittedly play favorites.  After all, connections make the world go round, right?  So my general blogging rule is that if someone I know and like, stars in a movie, and the movie is shit, I will leave it off the blog.  What I won’t do is lie in my post.  So when I found out that Stephen Dorff, a close family friend, was starring in Sofia Coppola’s Somewhere, I thought to myself: wow, this better be good.  Because there’s nothing worse than a family friend noticing their suspicious absence from your blog.  Lucky for me, and for anyone out there that still values quality movies, Somewhere is a hit at the Venice Film Festival, and it’s looking like an Oscar contender.  In fact, Movieline (my favorite entertainment news website), had this to say about Stephen’s performance:

Dorff is an underappreciated and underused actor; he was marvelous as Stu Sutcliffe in Iain Softley’s 1994 Backbeat . . . but he hasn’t had many roles worthy of him in the years since. He’s superb here: As a guy whose days as a young hunk are on the wane, Johnny is grabbing at everything and grasping nothing, and Dorff captures his flailing ambivalence perfectly.

I would like to extend a big congratulations to Sofia Coppola and Stephen Dorff.  Watch the trailer for the film below.

*UPDATE: Somewhere was just awarded the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival, which is considered the highest honor.

Top Romantic Comedies Liked by Men — A List

There’s nothing worse than strong-arming your boyfriend into seeing a romantic comedy with you.  I’m unequivocally opposed, for fear that he’ll retaliate by forcing me to see The Expendables.  Besides, what’s so wrong with having a date night with my gay friends?  Surprisingly, there are in fact some romantic comedies that men enjoy.  I’m often confused by what makes a guy like a romantic comedy.  Most men can’t even articulate why, often grunting the simple sentence, “I like it when it’s good.”  For whatever reason, the men I talk to like the films below.  I am going to make a feeble attempt at an explanation.

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY When Harry Met Sally might be the best romantic comedy in history. There are no bells and whistles, just great writing, great actors, and a great director. A certain someone I know that detests romantic comedies, insists that they are only successful when directed by a man. He’s either sexist . . . or correct. This film was directed by the Rob Reiner, and written by Nora Ephron. Much of the hilarious dialogue is based on both their lives, such as Meg Ryan’s obsessive ordering (which is something Ephron does), or Billy Crystal discussing his failed marriage while doing the wave at a baseball game (which actually happened to Rob Reiner).

LOVE ACTUALLY Once upon a time, when my brother was single, he decided to add romantic comedies to his movie collection, so that when he brought women back into his apartment, he could get them to stay by suggesting a cheesy film. When he called to ask for advice, he told me all my movie suggestions were nauseating, and he’d rather not get laid than watch Dirty Dancing. When left to his own devices, he came up with Love Actually, which is still one of his favorite films of all time.  The reason? I have absolutely no idea, but most men I talk to agree with my brother.

THE NOTEBOOK No man I know likes to admit that he is a fan of The Notebook, but they all are. The story is always the same. Their girlfriends wanted to watch it, and they got guilted in to what they originally thought would be a torturous experience. After the film ends, they’re confused about having liked it, and they never tell their guy friends about it. It’s the worst kept secret of the male species.

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Ian Ziering Says The CW Destroyed 90210 Day

If you think that 4/20 is the only clever twist on the calendar, think again. In case you missed it, yesterday was September 2, 2010, also known as, 90210. If you were not a fan of Beverly Hills 90210, I would encourage you to abandon post. Actually, abandon blog, because I have no use for people that missed one of the best shows in television history. In a new interview, Ian Ziering/Steve Sanders, revealed that the entire cast was ready to do a reunion in honor of 90210 day, but “The CW dropped the ball.” Gosh, it shocks me that The CW can’t put a simple reunion together, considering they cannot even put a respectable remake on the air. If I were Ian Ziering, I would probably forgo any attempt at a reunion on The CW, so that the public will quickly forget how they bastardized his show.

Jerry Seinfeld’s Famous Girlfriends on ‘Seinfeld’

Jerry Seinfeld’s recent appearance on Howard Stern had me nostalgic for the great days of television.  I started to think of his show, and I remembered the very funny episode with Teri Hatcher.  It then occurred to me just how many famous women guest-starred as one of Jerry’s girlfriends.  I’ve compiled a list for your enjoyment.

Teri Hatcher had the most memorable guest appearance on Seinfeld. The subject of her episode was whether her boobs were real or fake, and she closed her scene with the very famous line, “They’re real and they’re spectacular.” When recently asked about her guest-spot, Hatcher said, “now they’re just real.”


Kristin Davis appeared on Seinfeld as Jerry’s girlfriend Jenna. Jerry accidentally knocks her toothbrush in the toilet, and she uses it before he can tell her. When she finally finds out, she sticks something of Jerry’s in the toilet as retaliation, and refuses to tell him what it was.

Marcia Cross appeared on an episode called The Slicer. She played a dermatologist, which Jerry doesn’t consider a real medical field, as it doesn’t involve saving lives. He later realizes that, because Cross’s character screens people for skin cancer, she does in fact save lives. He then apologizes.


Christine Taylor will always have a special place in my heart as Melody Hanson from Hey Dude.  After Hey Dude, she played Jerry’s “too perfect” girlfriend, Ellen, who ultimately got dumped because Jerry’s parents liked her, which meant there was obviously something wrong with her.

I first noticed Amanda Peet on an underrated, short-lived show called Jack & Jill. Before that, she had numerous television guest-spots, which included a coveted appearance on Seinfeld. She played Lanette, Jerry’s high maintenance girlfriend that requires both Jerry and George to team up to create the perfect man who could handle her.


Courtney Cox pretends to be Jerry Seinfeld’s wife so that she can share in his 25% discount at the dry cleaners. He eventually cheats on her, and gives another woman the discount.  Men are such pigs, aren’t they?

Debra Messing appeared on one of the best Seinfeld episodes in history, entitled The Yada Yada. Enough said.

Jennifer Coolidge will forever be known as Stifler’s mom from American Pie, but her first credited acting gig was on Seinfeld, where she played a masseuse that Jerry eventually dumps because she refuses to give him a massage (but had no problem massaging Kramer).

Today’s Gripe: No More Birthing Scenes in Movies

Many very enjoyable films and television shows are destroyed by a gratuitous scene of a woman giving birth. It’s been done a million times, in both comedies and dramas. The only time I have ever seen it done successfully, is in the film Nine Months, and the title itself explains why it was necessary. So with the news that Kristen Stewart’s character, Bella, will be giving birth in the upcoming Twilight movie, I’m reminded of why I’ll avoid the next installment. It’s gross and unnecessary, and for some reason it’s lauded as some incredible acting accomplishment. Remember when Jennifer Aniston got an Emmy the same year she gave birth to Ross’s baby on Friends? And if you saw Jennifer Lopez’s recent film, The Back-Up Plan, then you subjected yourself to another beyond repulsive birthing scene, that was an ill-attempt at humor. We all know the many ways a woman gives birth, and I’m sure for the parents it’s a beautiful experience. But it’s not my baby you’re giving birth to — so don’t show it.

Chris Robinson Calls Taylor Swift “Horrible”

Want to know the best way to get mentioned in the press when you’re Z-lister?  Well, you bash an A-lister, of course.  In a recent interview, Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes, discussed the current state of the music industry, and singled out Taylor Swift, as “talentless,” and a poor example of how everything “sounds and looks the same” these days.  Did Chris learn nothing from the Kanye West debacle?  Taylor Swift is untouchable, and unless you’re going to hop on the pop/country bandwagon, you better stay in your cave.

Rumor Alert: Is Mark Salling Fired From Glee?

EXCLUSIVE BREAKING NEWS: The Hollywood rumor mill has put quite the nugget of gold on my doorstep.  I have to look into this further before I tell you it’s a “reliable source,” but I’ve been told that Mark Salling was fired by Ryan Murphy for pursuing “outside musical interests,” in violation of his contract.  Apparently, Salling recorded an album which pissed off the folks over at Glee.  I’m actually praying that I’m wrong about this, because I think Salling is one of the more talented folks on the show.  Story developing . . .

UPDATE: I have more dirt on this that I cannot share, but let’s just say I find it mighty interesting that Puck was absent from last night’s episode of Glee.

X-Factor Won’t Ban Prostitutes — Simon Cowell Has a Heart

A new X-Factor scandal has surfaced, and this one is great.  Britain’s The Sun is claiming that X-Factor contestant Chloe Mafia formerly worked as a prostitute.  Simon Cowell’s reaction to the news?  “We don’t discriminate,” he says.  In fact, he’d like to feature her story on the show.  Well, good for X-Factor.  Remember the days of talent-show-innocence, when contestants were banned if they had previous arrests, posed naked, or worked as strippers?  Who says there is still prejudice out there?  I wonder what Frenchie Davis would say about this.

James Cameron Insults Piranha 3D — It’s All Your Fault James

Dear James Cameron, I’d like to thank you for starting this 3D monster, and encourage you to take some responsibility for the destruction of cinema while you’re in your therapy sessions.  Though Cameron insulted Piranha 3D in a recent interview, saying that it’s “the bottom of the barrel,” and it “cheapens the [3D] medium,” he has no one to blame but himself.  Obviously when Avatar made a billion dollars, every creatively inept movie studio would try to duplicate its success.  And because Cameron is the only guy in Hollywood that does his homework, a 3D film made by anyone else is inevitably bound for shit.  So James, many thanks for hurting my eyes, and forcing me to avoid 90% of current film releases.  I blame you and only you.

Dave Letterman Accosts Michael Douglas About his Cancer

I have to give Michael Douglas credit.  Douglas discussed his cancer while promoting Wall Street on Letterman, and Letterman basically asked him if he was going to die in fifty different ways.  I wonder if Letterman would have asked the same questions had Douglas been over his house for brunch.  “Hey, pass the lox, and by the way . . . are you going to die?”  Michael Douglas’ forthright answers amazed me.  Unlike many A-listers, he never puts restrictions on interview questions, no matter how uncomfortable.  He openly discussed his son’s arrest on The View, and he also discussed his Cuckoo rift with his father, Kirk Douglas while on Letterman years ago.  I’ve officially added him to my favorite-actors-in-Hollywood list.  Watch below.