Leonardo DiCaprio Could have Been Spiderman — Should He Have Kept Mum?

Movieline asked Leonardo DiCaprio about the roles he turned down, and there are quite a few.  Most notable, was that of Spiderman, which eventually went to Tobey Maguire.  DiCaprio said that he, “didn’t feel ready to put on that suit yet.”  As much as I love knowing the back-story behind great movies, I don’t think that actors should talk about it.  When you admit to having turned something down, you make the guy that got the part look like a second-rate leftover.  I’m sure DiCaprio meant nothing by his admission, given that he and Tobey Maguire are friends, but it still does not sit well with me.  Remember that whole Scarlett Johansson/Christina Hendricks debacle?

Aaron Sorkin Will Direct John Edwards Biopic — YAWN

Am I the only person on the planet that is  no longer interested in John Edwards’ life?  The great Aaron Sorkin will direct a movie based on Edwards life, and I’m not sure I care.  At the time the Enquirer exposed Edwards’ affair I was certainly enthralled.  I remember thinking that there was something awry with his character while he was running for President, but I could not pinpoint it.  So when the tabloids exposed his insane affair, I was on the edge of my seat.  Not just because I wanted confirmation that I was right, but because I wanted to know whether the Enquirer was credible.  So now we know, and I’m officially over it.  What more is there to know other than that he’s a complete scumbag with bad taste in mistresses.  Perhaps the movie is about why men cheat on their wives with unattractive women?  Now that’s a question I want an answer to.

Pink is not a Trapeze Artist — Who Knew?

Pink was injured during her concert, when she fell through a barricade while suspended in the air. She was rushed to the hospital, and subsequently let her fans know that she’s okay. I know that Pink prides herself on doing her own stunts and never lip-syncing, but enough is enough. She is not a trapeze artist, and I’m sure she could put on just as good of a show with professionals doing the dirty work. I also think that she has taken this anti-Britney stance way too far. I’ve seen her perform, and she is so exhausted, that she can be heard panting into the microphone at times, while she is trying to catch her breath. Would it kill her to lip-sync even part of the concert if she’s upside down for most of it? I seriously don’t mind, nor do I think it would sacrifice her creative integrity to do so.

Mel Gibson Outrage — But What About Sean Connery?

Much of the outrage about Mel Gibson surrounds whether he actually punched his girlfriend in the face, knocking out two of her teeth. But then how did Sean Connery get off scot-free (no pun intended)? In an interview with Barbara Walters, Sean Connery admitted to occasionally hitting his wife — when the situation “merited it,” of course. He said that women often relentlessly try to get the last word, and it “depends entirely on the circumstances” whether they deserve a good slap in the face. Come to think of it, I often fantasize about returning to the good old days, where I could maybe say to a condescending boss or two, “why don’t we just take this outside.” That way I could conserve all of my overflowing wit for theDishmaster.com instead. But not everyone is a Taekwondo master, and so it’s probably best that office fisticuffs are prohibited. Seriously though, if you didn’t know that Sean Connery is a wife-beater, watch the interview below. It’s mind-blowing.

Tool Academy Member Arrested — Can Someone Shut Down VH1 Please?

How many people need to be arrested before someone at VH1 is held accountable for their casting choices?  I realize that Jerry Springer desensitized us long ago, but I can’t remember any murder stories or arrests taking place after his show aired.  First VH1 casts an alleged murderer, and now a Tool Academy cast member is arrested for having sex with a 15-year-old girl.  By the way, I am leaving out a long list of other rap sheets, because I simply don’t have time to post it all.  Here’s the point though: when did VH1 become so morally depraved?  Remember the good old days of Behind the Music?  I’m all for trashy voyeurism, but I draw the line at murderers and pedophiles.   I could not find an applicable picture for this post because what kind of a picture speaks to statutory rape (don’t answer that)?  As a result, I have posted a picture of Rock Hudson and Doris Day, to remind us of our days of innocence.

Kristin Chenoweth Gets Starbucks Barista Fired — Not Cool

I know that celebrities are used to being tattled on via social networking sites, and so they feel it’s okay to turn the tables on every-day people.  But this has to stop.  Kristin Chenoweth tweeted about a “rude” Starbucks barista, and the woman was subsequently fired.  First of all, If I got fired from a job every time I had a poor attitude, I would never be employed.  Second, you might have a poor attitude too if you made 7 dollars an hour in a terrible economy.  Third, I know you are very talented and very famous, and the people around you cater to your every whim, but did you ever hear of a bad day?  Let it be known that I’m not trying to pick on Kristin Chenoweth, who I have actually heard is an extremely kind person.  But this should be a message to celebrities everywhere — when we lodge daggers your way, it’s taken with a grain of salt.  When you lodge daggers at baristas — it’s taken seriously.

Olivia Palermo: When Did “Trust Fund Babies” Become “Socialites”?

While watching ‘The City,’ I started to wonder who Olivia Palermo really is, and why she gets such a flattering term attached to her credentials.  On second thought — is the word “socialite” really flattering?  There is a strange thing that happens with the English language.  You take two words that mean the exact same thing, but produce completely different emotions.  To me, “trust fund baby” refers to someone that has done absolutely nothing with their life except live off daddy’s money.  So what is a socialite?  Well, I think a socialite is someone that has done absolutely nothing with their life except live off daddy’s money.  Sound similar?  Palermo’s father is a New England real estate developer, and she grew up on the Upper East Side.  She started to get photographed on the New York social scene around the age of 20, and she made the cover of New York Magazine amidst a website scandal, when socialiterank.com, released a fake letter that was said to be written by Palermo, where she pathetically pleaded for all the New York socialites to accept her.  Palermo’s father hired a top firm and sued the website, and it was subsequently shut down.  She then said, “I may be a young girl.  But behind every young girl is a powerful father.”  So this brings me back to my original question.  Is this really something to be proud of?  Believe it or not, there are a lot of people that are so plagued by their parents success, they spend their entire life trying to top it.  Not “socialites” though.  For some reason they stand tall.  I will at least give Palermo major credit for her style.  She can sure pick out a dress.

Beavis & Butt-Head Are Back — Cornholio Returns

When I first read that Mtv is resurrecting Beavis and Butt-head, I kept spontaneously saying “I need TP for my bumhole,” and prayed it had something to do with the cartoon characters.  This series reminds me of my childhood, when I used to tell my brother how immature and dumb he was for watching it.  Thirteen years later, I realize he was the smart one, and I was the humorless bore.  With the end of ‘The Hills,’ Mtv decided that they could use Mike Judge’s children again, which will serve to not only successfully fill the time slot, but also to resurrect music videos on Mtv.  I can’t wait to see what Beavis says about Lady Gaga.  I’m glad Mtv got its act together and found a way to integrate music videos again, because  removing “music television” from the logo simply doesn’t cut it.

Update: See an interview with Mike Judge below, where he talks about missing Beavis & Butt-Head.

Joaquin Phoenix/Casey Affleck Mockumentary Is on the Way — I’m Bothered

I have yet to see the Joaquin Phoenix “mockumentary,” and I am already annoyed.  Am I the only person that doesn’t find this type of thing funny?  If you believe the film to be true, then Casey Affleck chronicled Joaquin Phoenix’s real-life drug melt-down, and then sold it for profit.  If you don’t believe it, then Casey Affleck made light of a very serious issue, which is especially concerning given that Joaquin’s own brother died of a drug overdose.  Forgive me for not having a sense of humor.  I predict that this is indeed an Andy Kaufman style hoax, and that Phoenix went along with it as a favor to Affleck, who is his brother-in-law.  I will say though that I know someone who met Phoenix at a private party during this time, and confirmed to me that he was “completely insane.”  I’m not entirely sure what to make of that information.  Perhaps Phoenix, like Andy Kaufman, stayed in character even during his personal life when Affleck’s cameras were not rolling.  Or perhaps Phoenix is just insane altogether. I don’t have the answer.  All I know is that I’m amongst the up-tight pricks that finds this voyeuristic nonsense disturbing.

Blog Daily Roundup — Goodnight Tuesday

  • Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem got married.  Ace Showbiz
  • Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest were spotted making out.  Popsugar
  • See pictures of Jesse James‘ new Austin home.  Astrochicks
  • Christina Milian and her husband split up after he allegedly cheated on her.  TPI News
  • Mario Lopez gets his own VH1 reality show.  Popcrunch
  • Bret Michaels is engaged.  Popeater
  • Madonna’s Dolce & Gabanna campaign is incredible.  Just Jared
  • See picture of John Stamos’ alleged extortionist/17-year-old conquest. Radar Online