Zoolander 2 is Dead – The Entire World is Crying


Ben Stiller confirmed via twitter that ‘Zoolander 2’ won’t happen.  He said, “Ron Burgundy and Derek Zoolander looking to appear in sequels. Both men destitute, without means or intellect to fund their own comebacks.”  Because he used twitter to announce this, I imagine that he is trying to incite a Betty White style riot, in hopes of pressuring the studio to fund the sequel.  It just might work.  Movie studio executives have used the economy as an excuse to pussy out of taking any real risk.  They can’t garner the same funding from independant investors as they used to and, as a result, they either make big budget popcorn action films, or remake classics that don’t require a lot of expensive promotion.  Translation: they don’t think they’ll make a huge profit off a ‘Zoolander’ sequel, and so they won’t fund it.  Perhaps if the public nudged the studio in some way, they might change their minds.  Get the hint?

UPDATE: A Zoolander sequel might be in the works, after all.

The Dish – Tabloid Review

David Boreanaz’s admitted to cheating on his wife while she was pregnant, in an attempt to diffuse the upcoming mistress press conference.  Boreanaz needs to call Charlie Sheen and ask him for advice on how to fuck women that don’t talk to the press. 

Halle Berry’s ex-boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry is pissed off that the press is labeling him a dead-beat loser, and he blames Halle’s camp for the story.  Since she has yet to defend him, I think he’s probably right.  It’s a good thing that Halle Berry stars in such fantastic movies, otherwise it would be pretty ridiculous to point fingers at Aubry’s stalled career.  Right?

Bret Michaels was released from the hospital and is expected to make a full recovery.  I’m not only thrilled for his family, but I’m also thrilled that Donald Trump will stop playing doctor with the press.

Lindsay Lohan is facing jail time for violating probation.  As a sidenote, Lohan is looking a lot like Britney Spears during Spears’ downward spiral.  Let’s hope she can get it together like Spears did before it’s too late.  There is a big difference though.  Spears’ parents never justified her behavior the way Dina Lohan does.  Instead, they told the press they were trying to help her.

David Letterman’s extortionist is going to prison.  I just realized that Letterman’s mistresses didn’t hold a press conference either.  Perhaps that is because Letterman didn’t fuck fame mongering whores. 

Rachel Uchitel lands my title as star-fucking home-wrecker of the year.  That’s just my opinion though.  After all, you can’t break up a marriage that isn’t already broken right?  Either that – or when you jump on a guy’s penis he just might have sex with you. 

 

Paula Abdul v. ‘X-Factor’ – "Show Me The Money"


Just how many deals can Paula Abdul’s management team mess up?  Sources report that Abdul’s “diva demands” are holding up her contract negotiations on ‘X-Factor.’ Since Abdul changed management, she left ‘American Idol,’ her ‘Star Search’ negotiations fell through, she “turned down” the opportunity to co-host ‘Dancing With the Stars,’ and she rejected a judging gig on ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ because they didn’t have “Idol money.” It’s time for Simon Cowell to have a sit down with Paula Abdul.

NBC Calls Conan a Liar – Suck It NBC

NBC felt the need to respond to Conan’s 60 Minutes interview by calling him a liar.  They refuted Conan’s claim that he was a cheaper buy-out than Jay Leno, and they insisted that they did in fact lose money with Conan as the host, despite Conan’s claim that it “really isn’t possible” that NBC took a financial hit.  First of all, you would have to be an idiot to believe that both Jay Leno and Conan signed a contract for the same amount of money.  Leno was at NBC for a longer period of time, and ‘The Tonight Show’ hosting gig in it of itself demands a higher paycheck.  Any assertion otherwise is ridiculous.  Second, is everyone forgetting just how much money Jay Leno’s failed 10:00pm show cost NBC?  Oh yeah – and what a horrible decision NBC made by putting him in that slot in the first place.  They sacrificed their entire prime-time line up, which will take forever to rebuild.  Instead of owning their terrible choices, they are pointing fingers at the guy that loyally worked for them for 13 years.  Have some dignity NBC.

Dear Hollywood Reporter – You Suck – Back Off the Conan Insults

The Hollywood Reporter wrote a ridiculous article about why Conan should not have interviewed with 60 minutes.  Among their many ludicrous reasons, is that he wasn’t funny, he seems too hurt, and that his comedy tour clips looked “sad.”  You guys suck.  Obviously you have NBC and Jay Leno in your pocket, and you therefore feel the need to pick on Conan.  People wanted to hear from him.  Yes he’s sad he lost the show.  He’s sad that NBC, the network that he put in 13 years with, turned on him.  America wants to hear from him.  And there is nothing wrong with him being honest about what happened.  Had he not openly talked about it, people would accuse him of being a pussy that’s too afraid of NBC to say anything.  By the way guys, he isn’t a hypocrite for going to cable after leaving NBC.  The reason he wanted ‘The Tonight Show’ is because of Johnny Carson, not because he thirsts to be on a network.  Suck it!  Read the article below.
 
THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER



Holly Robinson Peete Insults Cindi Lauper: "Leave it to the Professionals"

If you watched ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ you would have seen the incredibly disrespectful Holly Robinson Peete and Summer Sanders, tell Cindi Lauper not to sing a jingle, as she should “leave it to the professionals.”  Are you fucking kidding me?!  Cindi Lauper wrote and sang some of the best songs in the history of music, and you’re seriously going to talk down to her?  Why don’t you recite your music resume to me ladies.  Someone should have told Holly Robinson Peete that people actually watch the ‘Celebrity Apprentice,’ which might not bode well for her in the future.  Below you will see I have attached some Cindi Lauper songs, in the vain hope that Holly Robinson Peete reads my blog and can learn a thing or two.  Sure they chose her to sing the jingle in the end, but the damage is done.