THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Monday

8

September 2014

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COMMENTS

Fox & Friends Thinks Domestic Violence is Funny

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The Baltimore Ravens released Ray Rice after TMZ published a very disturbing elevator video of a fight between him and his then fiance, which ended in Rice knocking her unconscious, followed by a feeble attempt to help her. The two married shortly thereafter, and she refused to testify against him. Though the NFL insists it did not see the video until today, many speculate that they had previously viewed the video and simply succumbed to pressure by suspending him upon it’s public release, instead of the much more lenient two-game suspension they previously gave him. And now that you have that back story, watch the video below to see Fox & Friends make light of domestic violence with bad jokes about “taking the stairs.” It’s nice to see that Elisabeth Hasselbeck has grown a sense of humor since leaving The View though. Sometimes a change of venue is just what the doctor ordered.

Thursday

4

September 2014

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COMMENTS

Justin Theroux Explains His Large Schlong to Conan

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Apparently Justin Theroux has a stellar schlong and Conan O’Brien can’t avoid asking about it. ‘The Leftovers’ star explained through embarrassment that his infamous sweatpants scene was actually being “held together” by two pairs of underwear, which still didn’t sustain the goods. Jennifer Aniston is a very lucky girl (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it). Watch below.

Thursday

4

September 2014

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COMMENTS

The View Picks It’s Panel: Official Selection Announced

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After endless tests, internal discord, backstage drama, and public pleas from interested parties, The View has finally selected their new panel, which will include: Whoopi Goldberg, Rosie O’Donnell, Nicolle Wallace, and Rosie Perez. The daytime chat-fest has had a well-publicized refresh since Barbara Walters retirement, which preceded the exit of Sherri Shepherd, Jenny McCarthy, and longtime Executive Producer Bill Getty. Wallace served as communications chief for President George W. Bush’s reelection campaign and advised John McCain’s 2008 campaign. She is also a political analyst for MSNBC, and a smart choice for the network. The View needs a right-wing woman who can offer an alternative take without being a combative, straight-party stumper (yes, that’s a hit at Elisabeth Hasselbeck). As for Perez, it’s clear ABC wanted a Latina woman with a name, and she fits the part. It remains to be seen how Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg will work together, as it’s widely known that Rosie has trouble playing in the sandbox with others. That being said, tension brings ratings, and when the competition is a cheesy fluff-fest (The Talk), it’s important to establish a discernible identity. Time will tell.

Thursday

4

September 2014

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COMMENTS

Joan Rivers Passes Away at 81 — We’ve Lost an Icon

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We lost the legendary Joan Rivers today, and the world just got a little bit less funny. The iconic comedian worked until her very last day, and I’m told by a close friend who saw her just days before her death that she was in great spirits, happy, and incredibly friendly. She celebrated the sunset of her life with the same fervor as her first act, extending her brand to Fashion Police, which gained her a new crop of young fans. She also caused constant controversy for which she was unapologetic, rightfully refusing to retract for her jokes. Rivers was fearless, bold, hilarious, and kind, and I’m devastated. Celebrate her life by listening to her last Howard Stern interview from just one month ago. Enjoy below.

Wednesday

3

September 2014

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COMMENTS

Jon Oliver Answers “Fan Mail” — WATCH NOW

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Jon Oliver aims to sustain his soaring popularity in the off-season with exclusive web content for viewers to chew on while he’s away. And in a brilliant move, that content covers web-related issues. Watch Oliver answer his YouTube “fan mail” below. Only a true supporter would call someone a “parrot.”

Wednesday

3

September 2014

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COMMENTS

Maroon 5 Releases ‘Maps’ — Album Review

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You’d think with all those hands in the cookie jar, Maroon 5 would manage to produce a catchier record. Despite having criticized the band for relinquishing most of their songwriting duties to bigger names, this process previously paid off with the success of their last record. Unfortunately, those hit-making machines have malfunctioned for their follow-up, ‘V,’ which has moved the band from “overexposed” to overproduced. To quote the legendary Coco Chanel, “Before leaving the house, a lady should look in the mirror and remove one accessory.” The same can be said about music. There’s just too much garbage invading the melody to actually enjoy it. Tracks that could have been moving, like “Unkiss Me” for example, are clouded with crap that strangle the tune.The 80’s-esque, synth-driven “Sugar” also falls victim to the same complaint, though it’s a tad catchier than most other tracks. And while “Animals” is likely the second single, it’ s not nearly as strong as “Maps,” the only song worthy of extensive radio play. “Leaving California” and “In Your Pocket” are personal favorites, though their placement on the album order suggests I’m alone in that thought. Overall, this is good, but not great. Listen to “Maps,” the catchiest tune, below.

Monday

1

September 2014

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COMMENTS

Music Spotlight: Willis Earl Beal

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MEMPHIS_WILLISEARLBEAL_POSTERWillis Earl Beal has a lot to brag about. Born and raised in Chicago, he’s released two albums (Acoustic Scorcery and Nobody Knows) under an independent record label, and both are stellar examples of his talent. But despite this success, Beal has since exited his label in an attempt to exclusively control the entirety of his career. According to Under the Radar, Beal resented promoting his music as a product, dismissed touring, and didn’t want a backing band. He had already “traveled the world with a reel-to-reel machine as his only musical accompaniment,” and he wanted to return to the “very simplistic outlook as to what [he] could and couldn’t do.” Beal will take his talent to the silver screen for his starring role in Tim Sutton’s upcoming film, ‘Memphis,’ where he “portrays a strange singer with “god given talent” who resembles but doesn’t equal Beal.” The movie will feature his new release, Experiments in Time, which is a hypnotic, moving departure from his previous work.  To learn more about the complicated artist who is worthy of wide recognition, check out his interview with Under the Radar. It’s clear from his complaints that he needs to get out of his head and into his music, but like many artists before him, sometimes internal discord drives talent, and perhaps that’s the case here. Watch the trailer for Memphis below, and check out the second video for one of his best songs, “Too Dry to Cry.”

Monday

1

September 2014

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COMMENTS

Weekend Roundup: Your Tabloid News Review

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Jay Z and Beyonce put those breakup rumors to rest. HUFFPO

Gerard Butler’s got a new babe. Just Jared

Think good thoughts for the legendary Joan Rivers . . . please. Rumor Fix

Juan Pablo Galavis and Nikki Ferrell have extended their fifteen minutes to Couples Therapy. People

Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg have wed. Wet Paint

Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross are married. Us Magazine

Brad Pitt finally made an honest woman out of Angelina. Pop Bytes.

Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade are husband and wife. CBS News

Kate Mara and Max Minghella split. E! Online

Britney Spears is single, and her father is a superhero. FashionStyle

Brody Jenner skipped Kim Kardashian’s wedding over a squabble. RealityTVWorld

Travis Barker remembers DJ AM on the 5-year anniversary of his death. Daily Mail

Saturday

30

August 2014

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COMMENTS

Jon Stewart Covers Ferguson — Watch Now

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Jon Stewart returned from vacation with a must-see rundown on the tragic death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, and true to form, he enlightened the “media” on their embarrassing coverage of the events. With largely white talking heads describing racism through a racist lens, one can expect a problematic portrayal. But only The Daily Show’s stellar team of writers could package this in an easy-to-understand way for the Fox News media culprits contributing to the chaos. From Sean Hannity’s pompous, white privilege anecdotes about his own encounters with police to the “he who smelt it dealt it” spin on “only racists talk about race,” Stewart left no stone unturned. Watch him annihilate the network that cares more about Festivus than Ferguson.

Thursday

28

August 2014

1

COMMENTS

Retta Kicks Out Seat-Filler at Emmy Awards

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I just came across this story, and it must be repeated. Parks and Recreation’s Retta was seated in the second row during Monday’s Emmy Awards and was met with a very annoying seat filler who attempted to engage in irritating conversation with the star, who hilariously live-tweeted the issue. The seat-filler in question later identified himself and allegedly responded with racist insults toward Retta. I believe his account has since been suspended. Enjoy the tweets below.

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