THE DISHMASTER

If you’ve forgotten the greatness that was Siskel & Ebert, I’m here to remind you. Watch the movie titans take on Silence of the Lambs. Their art was always at its best together — especially when they disagreed.

I have no idea what Jada Pinkett Smith is saying in the clip below, but she sure sounds angry. As for whether Jada and Will are in an open relationship, given that she didn’t explicitly say, “No” — I’m guessing the answer is yes.

“He fought a courageous fight. I’ve lost the love of my life and the world has lost a visionary and a creative and generous spirit who touched so many people all over the world. . . . We had a lovely, lovely life together, more beautiful and epic than a movie. It had its highs and the lows, but was always experienced with good humor, grace and a deep abiding love for each other.” Chaz Ebert, Roger Ebert’s wife, on the loss of her loving husband.

Magic Johnson gave a moving interview to TMZ about his son coming out of the closet, and it’s worth watching. Watch the basketball star discuss his support of his son and his frustration with the discrimination against homosexuals in general.

There are times when I question Shia LaBeouf’s mental health. He’s now taken on both Alec Baldwin and Steven Spielberg, two titans worthy of unconditional respect. As a snot-nose kid with a chip on his shoulder, I predict his days in the business are numbered, a sad fact of which he’s clearly naive. My latest rage involved LaBeouf’s front-row seat at the opening night of Orphans, a move I can only assume was made to throw Alec Baldwin, who much to LaBeouf’s dismay, can’t be thrown. Watch him discus the feud on Letterman.

It’s the end of an era. And that era has largely been defined as television’s greatest feud in history. It began as Dave v. Jay, then Jay v. Conan, and in round three, Jay finally stopped swinging and stepped down. NBC knew that if Letterman retired, CBS would poach Fallon, which would create too much competition for Jay who would presumably lose his audience around that time. The real tragedy here lies with Conan, who is likely self-loathing about not waiting long enough for the coveted spot. Had he stuck with it, the network would have gifted him the spot without the drama.

I don’t know much about Anne Hathaway, but one thing seems certain — she’s humorless. When the world is criticizing you, the only way to squash that criticism is to self-deprecate and laugh, and she’s done neither. When James Franco addressed his Oscar hosting gig with Hathaway, word leaked that Hathaway was pissed, with what I can only believe are planted sources saying, “Anne would never air her dirty laundry in public and is intensely private. . . . It’s opened up old wounds, is totally unnecessary, and she’s fuming.” First of all, why is Anne Hathaway perfectly fine with laughing at Tina Fey’s Golden Globes’ joke about James Franco’s poor Oscar-hosting job, but she’s not okay with laughing at any jokes directed at her? Furthermore, you’d think the girl who hilariously poked fun at Claire Danes on SNL would also be able to poke fun at herself. My advice for Hathaway’s PR team is to have her host SNL again, get an award every five minutes and give cartoonish acceptance speeches. If Alec Baldwin can survive every dagger thrown in his direction, so can Anne Hathaway.

John Edwards’ daughter is poised and impressive. She addressed every one of her family controversies without bad-mouthing anyone, a difficult task to achieve considering the many “poor choices” she’s surrounded with. Speaking of poor choices, must Matt Lauer always go to a negative place? Catch his snarky comment at the end of the interview in which he summarizes Edwards’ daughter as political and insists that despite her positive take, there’s clearly still anger afloat.

This clip caused some extensive head-scratching. Does Bill O’Reilly support gay marriage? Or does he just hate the Clinton Administration enough to use this as an opportunity to lambaste their legislative choices? I feel as if I slept for 5000 years and awoke to discover the evolution of Fox News out of its pre-historic bigotry. Luckily, Stephen Colbert took the professorial podium to explain the television tart’s abrupt about-face. Watch below.

For more of The Oatmeal, CLICK HERE