THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Tuesday

21

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Kelly Rutherford Suffers Setback: Fights For Children

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Kelly Rutherford’s court battle is one of the most bizarre in history. Here’s the story in a nutshell. After a bitter divorce, Rutherford allegedly exposed information about her husband’s “businesses” that got him deported. Because her husband was then barred from visiting the United States, the court ordered her kids to live in France with their father. They reasoned that it was better for the children to stay put and have Kelly travel than the other way around, and if the kids lived in the United States, they’d have to constantly visit France to see their father. The result? Kelly constantly visits France, has exhausted her finances to fight for custody, and continues to publicly expose this story in a plea for help.

The story confounds me on multiple levels. First, how does an American court effectively deport its citizens? The obvious response is that it’s not a deportation given that their citizenship remains intact, but it sure smells like it. Second, even if you buy that it’s okay to send our citizens abroad, it still seems to be in a child’s best interest to stay with their mother in the United States and visit their father during the summer and spring break. Third, why isn’t the public more outraged? My only guess as to why this story remains too quiet for comfort is that Rutherford is unlikable. She unfortunately contributed to the situation she now fights against, given the alleged exposure that led to her ex’s deportation. I realize that if a man gets deported, there are issues afloat that could implicate whether he’s a fit parent, but nonetheless — it’s relevant. Also, the custody battle has been juvenile and bitter from the beginning. Rutherford allegedly did not inform her ex about the birth of their second child, and she refused to add his name to the birth certificate.

Though I’d like to believe she’s sincere and firmly believe she’s been wronged, the story is complicated, multi-layered, and odd. Watch below to see Rutherford explain her nightmare.


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Wednesday

15

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Guiliana Rancic Confirms Return to Fashion Police

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Guiliana Rancic continues her desperate apology tour post Fashion-Police-Faux-Pas, and she’s now confirmed her slot on the new-season panel. The entire debacle is especially curious, given E!’s decision not to defend its star amidst the heavy backlash. If it’s true that their writer’s room wrote the joke and the editing room cut out relevant context, then E! should have stood behind their star. Instead, they hung her out to dry with no public statement. As for why anyone would want to return to a hot seat sans behind-the-scenes support, I can only assume fame trumps reason. Watch her confirmation below.

Wednesday

15

April 2015

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COMMENTS

David Arquette’s Has On-Air, Howard Stern Meltdown

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For years I was under the impression that David Arquette needed to be set free from the clutches of Courtney Cox, but judging by his post-divorce behavior, perhaps that prison was necessary. While he’s a welcome Howard Stern guest, his recent antics are troubling. The issues began when Stern insisted it might be too soon for Arquette to remarry and Arquette took offense. The concern culminated when Stern saw Cox in Los Angeles at Jimmy Kimmel’s house instead of calling Arquette. Marriage is theoretically supposed to be a happy experience. If the man can’t even feign happiness during the first few weeks, then he has far bigger issues than Howard Stern’s disloyalty. And furthermore has Howard Stern learned nothing from Artie Lange? This is slowly moving from wack-pack to nervous breakdown.

Wednesday

15

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Dennis Quaid’s Funny or Die Sketch Revealed

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It’s official! Dennis Quaid’s on-set meltdown was a Funny Or Die sketch. Most media outlets predicted the hoax, presumably because it was just too close to Christian Bale’s cartoonish (albeit real) rant. The greatest part of the bit below is the excerpt at the end revealing that Quaid’s career remained unaffected while the Banana bit the dust. It’s pretty clear that’s a hit at Bale and Hollywood’s backwards behavior.

Tuesday

14

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Dennis Quaid’s On-Set Outburst: A HOAX?

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Either Dennis Quaid is insane, or he unoriginally bites on Christian Bale’s antics. In what I can only assume is the latter, Quaid engaged in an expletive-filled rant on set, which resulted in a viral video that will only serve to promote his new project. As an aside, I’ve heard Quaid is in fact a douchebag, but regardless, I smell a rat.

Tuesday

14

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Kylie Jenner v. Kris Jenner: Teen Angst Takes Hold

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One of life’s great joys is not only watching the Kardashians grow up before our eyes, but also watching their physical transformation from plucked to unplucked, as faces tighten, lips explode, asses grow, and noses shrink. And while we sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, we are also reminded that generations of women are being born whose only talent is selling sex in an already vapid industry. That’s okay though, they are sitting with their artificially enlarged asses in a huge pile of money. Watch Kylie Jenner have a tiff with her mother below, and take special note of her newly formed features.

Editor’s Note: I have no personal knowledge of whether the Kardashians have artificially enlarged anything. That being said, I have two eyes.

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Monday

13

April 2015

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COMMENTS

‘Inside Amy Schumer Promo’ Features a “Fudge Machine”

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It’s the year of the booty, and Amy Schumer is capitalizing on the curve revolution with an awe-inspiring lineup of lovely ladies, including Amber Rose, Amber Tamblyn, and Jemima Kirke. The ‘Inside Amy Schumer’ promo is the perfect peek into what I presume will be a hilarious second season. Watch her make the most of her fudge machine below.

Monday

13

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Is Drake Disgusted by Madonna? Singer Says No

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Apparently Drake missed the Madonna memo about looking enticed by her sexual advances. Here’s a quick recap of the raucous events: Madonna crashed Drake’s Coachella set, sang two songs, and ended with her tongue down his throat. Drake winced when complete, with a priceless expression exuding disgust. Drake later blamed her lipstick for his look of pain, which is probably true considering every single Madonna move is carefully choreographed, including any on-stage kiss. Translation? Drakes a douchebag who messed up the moment. As for Madonna, she took in stride, later saying, “If you don’t like me and still watch everything I do. B—- you’re a fan.” Watch below.

Friday

10

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Anne Hathaway Bitch-Slaps Emily Blunt in “Wrecking Ball”

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I’ve had my issues with Anne Hathaway, but her bold Wrecking Ball performance beside Emily Blunt during her Lip Sync battle is legend-worthy. She finally put her over-the-top dramatics to use and undercut all competitors. As for why NBC passed on Fallon’s pitch and relinquished this gold mine to Spike TV, one can only speculate that power suits can’t always predict comedy.

Friday

10

April 2015

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COMMENTS

Ashton Kutcher Cheated on Demi With Scott Eastwood’s Girlfriend?

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Clint Eastwood’s son divulged startling details on Watch What Happens Live, candidly confessing that Ashton Kutcher slept with his girlfriend while Kutcher was married to Demi Moore, which was presumably the catalyst for their divorce. While I’m sure there’s more to the story, it’s always refreshing when someone dishes dirt sans Hollywood’s pretty pink bow on top. Watch Scott Eastwood below.

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