THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Monday

23

February 2015

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COMMENTS

Lady Gaga Wins the #OSCARS: Watch Now

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Lady Gaga graced the stage of the 2015 Oscars, and she stole the show. With an unforgettable tribute to the Sound of Music, Gaga showed her vocal prowess in a way the audience has never seen. Though her talent has never been questioned, her avant-garde antics have made it difficult to hold her in high esteem. Last night’s performance changed everything. And the internet agrees. Watch below as she performs a medley of iconic tunes from The Sound of Music.

Thursday

19

February 2015

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COMMENTS

Jack White Releases “That Black Bat Licorice” Video — HOLY SH*T!

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When I first watched the new Jack White video I thought it was a visual masterpiece. I then realized that by hitting button B or 3 on my keyboard, I would get the privilege of entirely different content, thereby almost editing it myself. This forced me to listen multiple more times, which I can only assume is what his team of wizards intended. The man is an unequivocal genius. Watch “That Black Bat Licorice” below, and hit button B or 3 at your leisure.

Thursday

19

February 2015

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COMMENTS

Alison Williams Addresses Brian Williams Scandal: “He’s an Honest Man”

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Alison Williams is astoundingly classy, and she confirmed her poise under pressure when Seth Meyers asked her about her dad’s scandal. The ‘Girls’ star told the 92Y audience about how Brian Williams is coping, and she was quick to explain her faith in her father, saying, He’s a really good man. He’s an honest man. He’s a truthful man. He has so much integrity. He cares so much about journalism. And yes, he’s a really good dad. I know you can trust him because, as any good daughter does, I’ve tested him on that.” Watch below.

Thursday

19

February 2015

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COMMENTS

Norm Macdonald Happy Eddie Murphy Nixed Bill Cosby Sketch

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Saturday Night Live’s 40th Anniversary generated some very positive buzz, but the one standout fail was Eddie Murphy’s appearance, which was more about lauding than laughter. For a man that once commanded the room, it’s unfortunate that he’s now seemingly against all things funny. Norm Macdonald has now shed some light on his stale appearance, explaining that the original intention was a Bill Cosby sketch, and that Murphy made the last minute decision to nix it because, “he doesn’t want to kick a man while he’s down.” While it’s not fair to let MacDonald speak for Murphy, one things for certain. Bill Cosby might have raped a bunch of women, so maybe he deserves a few kicks. That being said, perhaps rape isn’t funny enough to grace the SNL stage. Watch Murphy’s sub-par, brief appearance on the anniversary stage.

Thursday

19

February 2015

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Hugh Grant Talks Elizabeth Hurley Sex

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Hugh Grant shockingly visited Watch What Happens Live, and the guarded Brit budged a bit on his personal life, revealing that his sex life with Elizabeth Hurley fizzled out, but they remain the best of friends. He also admitted to axing his porn habits. Enjoy the clip below!

Tuesday

17

February 2015

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COMMENTS

Selena Gomez Poses Topless for V Magazine — Looks Underage

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Does anyone find pictures of underage children disturbing? If so, turn a blind eye to Selena Gomez’s new V Magazine cover, since it’s obvious intent is to make her look like a child — which is gross. With bubble-gum colors, a bow in her hair, and cutesy curls, the purpose is clear. And let’s not mention that Woody Allen quote, “The Heart Wants What it Wants,” which was said in reference to his controversial relationship Soon Yi Previn.

Monday

16

February 2015

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COMMENTS

Cindy Crawford’s Unretouched Photo Hits the Internet: World Reacts

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An unretouched photo of supermodel Cindy Crawford from a 2013 Marie Claire shoot is circling the internet, and while many are applauding the imperfect image, I’m outraged. First, Crawford didn’t sign off on its release. Second, the emphatic ploy for celebrities to produce “real” images is ridiculous, especially because everyday civilians don’t subscribe to the same philosophy. Would you post an unflattering photo on facebook that exposes your flaws? Or do you take as many as pictures possible until achieving the perfect, skinniest angle? Last, if I were to pose for a worldwide magazine, I’d expect the best photo to be featured. To allow the leak of a less than flattering photo is to breach trust, and as a supermodel, I expect Cindy Crawford isn’t pleased.

Sunday

15

February 2015

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COMMENTS

Weekend Roundup: Tabloid News Review

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Amanda Knox is engaged. Yahoo!

Ashton Kutcher is happy to have sex with his wife. E! Online

Liv Tyler had a baby boy. Refinery29

Vivica Fox loved 50 Cent. Urban Daily

Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce for the third time. Pop Sugar

Nick Cannon and Nicole Murphy are getting cozy. Bossip

Khloe Kardashian and French Montana are at it again. Daily Mail

Jennifer Carpenter is pregnant and engaged to an Avett Brother. Rumor Fix

Did Wiz Khalifa cheat on Amber Rose? Gawker

Calvin Harris has a new squeeze. Contact Music

Jack White loves guacamole. Variety

Sunday

15

February 2015

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COMMENTS

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ — A Full Review

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Fifty_Shades_of_Grey_MOVIE_POSTERFor a movie based on sex, I expected to see more of it — a lot more. And while ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ might not be as Razzie-worthy as I anticipated, it could have been a lot better. There are a few facts from the start that beg for a tremendous suspension of disbelief, such as a 27 year old billionaire, a virgin with a little too much natural ability, and some very dreary dialogue that might put Gigli to shame. But if the plot of a film puts you off, there’s always the those racy, heated scenes, right?

Most of the film’s hotly-anticipated huffing-and-puffing is driven more by nudity than by the content itself. In fact, based on this film alone, Christian Grey is a little boring in bed. He’s a stick-it-in, missionary man that either injured  Anastasia Steele’s lady parts or she’s exceptionally primed to play for a virgin. Had the director been a little more imaginative, these two could have had way more fun sans nudity, with some hot over-the-desk antics, or perhaps even some under-the-desk digital fun (forgive me — those are my fantasies). Instead, we got some minor tie-ups with a little beating, and a whiny  Anastasia Steele who apparently missed Christian Grey’s very blunt memo about what to expect.

Though I didn’t read the novel, I was under the impression that the film would be about a woman’s sexual exploration and experimentation, and she’d enjoy it. The only person that enjoyed anything here was Christian, and he apparently has terrible taste in women since his chosen girl was more interested in spooning than screwing. I imagine there’s plenty of prostitutes that would nag him less about his intimacy issues. As for whether Anastasia Steele’s learned anything about her personal, sexual preferences, here’s hoping her next guy is a little more giving.

 

OVERALL RATING: 2.5/5 DISHES

 

Friday

13

February 2015

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COMMENTS

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