Does anyone find pictures of underage children disturbing? If so, turn a blind eye to Selena Gomez’s new V Magazine cover, since it’s obvious intent is to make her look like a child — which is gross. With bubble-gum colors, a bow in her hair, and cutesy curls, the purpose is clear. And let’s not mention that Woody Allen quote, “The Heart Wants What it Wants,” which was said in reference to his controversial relationship Soon Yi Previn.
Ashton Kutcher is happy to have sex with his wife. E! Online
Liv Tyler had a baby boy. Refinery29
Vivica Fox loved 50 Cent. Urban Daily
Pamela Anderson has filed for divorce for the third time. Pop Sugar
Nick Cannon and Nicole Murphy are getting cozy. Bossip
Khloe Kardashian and French Montana are at it again. Daily Mail
Jennifer Carpenter is pregnant and engaged to an Avett Brother. Rumor Fix
Did Wiz Khalifa cheat on Amber Rose? Gawker
Calvin Harris has a new squeeze. Contact Music
Jack White loves guacamole. Variety
Most of the film’s hotly-anticipated huffing-and-puffing is driven more by nudity than by the content itself. In fact, based on this film alone, Christian Grey is a little boring in bed. He’s a stick-it-in, missionary man that either injured Anastasia Steele’s lady parts or she’s exceptionally primed to play for a virgin. Had the director been a little more imaginative, these two could have had way more fun sans nudity, with some hot over-the-desk antics, or perhaps even some under-the-desk digital fun (forgive me — those are my fantasies). Instead, we got some minor tie-ups with a little beating, and a whiny Anastasia Steele who apparently missed Christian Grey’s very blunt memo about what to expect.
Though I didn’t read the novel, I was under the impression that the film would be about a woman’s sexual exploration and experimentation, and she’d enjoy it. The only person that enjoyed anything here was Christian, and he apparently has terrible taste in women since his chosen girl was more interested in spooning than screwing. I imagine there’s plenty of prostitutes that would nag him less about his intimacy issues. As for whether Anastasia Steele’s learned anything about her personal, sexual preferences, here’s hoping her next guy is a little more giving.
OVERALL RATING: 2.5/5 DISHES