THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

Thursday

13

March 2014

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COMMENTS

George Lopez Tells Ellen About His Recent Arrest

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When celebrities suffer public embarrassment over their alcohol intake, you can be pretty sure their problem is far greater than their infraction. Why? Because they go to great lengths with many resources to present themselves in the best light possible, and that team usually fails when their client is beyond help. Despite George Lopez’s very funny summary on Ellen of how he ended up drunk on the casino floor in Canada, it’s pretty clear the guy needs to turn his life around. According to Lopez, he’s now sober. Watch below.

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Wednesday

12

March 2014

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COMMENTS

Chelsea Handler to Piers Morgan: “You’re a Terrible Interviewer”

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It’s clear Piers Morgan can take a beating, and it’s also clear Chelsea Handler can give one. Handler visited his set to promote her new book, and she was obviously unhappy with Piers’ inability to stay on topic, along with ignoring her during the commercial break. Though her zing was made in jest, it’s pretty accurate. Morgan bounces around so many questions at once and rarely asks a follow-up that indicates he’s listening. Watch below.

Wednesday

12

March 2014

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COMMENTS

President Obama is ‘Between Two Ferns’ with Zach Galifianakis — Promotes Obamacare

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President Obama visited Zach Galifianakis for a sit-down interview about The Affordable Care Act, and hilarity ensued. When Zach asked, “What is it like to be the last black president?” Obama replied with, “Seriously, what’s it like for this to be the last time you ever talk to a president?” According to CNN, the White House invited celebrities to find innovative ways to promote the Affordable Care Act, as it’s success depends on having 40% of its enrollees be between the ages of 18 and 34. The Executive Producer of Funny or Die’s ‘Between Two Ferns’ then met with Obama’s senior adviser, and the rest is history. The segment was met with a lot of interrupting laughter and ad-libbing. Watch below, and go to Healthcare.gov to get covered. Now’s your chance! You have until March 31st.

Tuesday

11

March 2014

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COMMENTS

Monday

10

March 2014

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COMMENTS

After the Final Rose — Chris Harrison Hits All Time Low

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JUAN PABLOIt has always been rumored that if The Bachelors do not cooperate with ABC during their reign, ABC will make it their mission to soil their star. In fact, Jason Mesnick confirmed this in his most recent podcast, in which he admitted to a pressured proposal, along with series creator “Mike Fleiss standing over him waving a check in his face in exchange for such cooperation.” For the first time in history, ABC failed to manipulate its star, whose on-air beating exceeded even my worst expectations.

While I’ve always known that Chris Harrison’s personal paycheck likely justifies his cooperation on this crazy train, I had no idea the lengths he’d go to retaliate. If you missed ABC’s ‘After the Final Rose’ special, Juan Pablo Galavis picked Nikki Ferrell over Clare Crawley, and their post-show interview entailed pummeling questions from Harrison about whether Juan Pablo was in love with Nikki. Though Nikki admitted her love, Juan Pablo did not, and Harrison refused to relent, even declaring Juan Pablo’s love for him. To take it one step further, Harrison said, “I don’t know what I’m looking at,” implying that if their relationship status didn’t involve love, then it was far beyond Harrison’s comprehension. As an aside, Harrison is now single. I’m curious whether he declares love after four months of dating, and I’m even more curious how he’d handle getting sandbagged by a show determined to execute his downfall. As for the mysteriously rude comment Juan Pablo made to Clare, since none of us know it’s content, we can’t judge. Furthermore, it’s curious that Clare was ready to wed this man, and her hindsight judgment is only unfavorable upon rejection. Gee . . . that’s the first time I’ve seen that happen.

I know that Juan Pablo Galavis is a flawed star with issues of his own. I also know he got an unfavorable edit, and that Chris Harrison’s behavior on After the Final Rose was wildly inappropriate. The real lunacy of this show has always been it’s fast-track to love and inauthentic on-air proposals. After years of watching such unnatural courtships, we finally find the guy that simply wants to date the chick he chose. It seems the only person that doesn’t understand what that looks like is Chris Harrison.

Monday

10

March 2014

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COMMENTS

#JACKISBACK — Watch the ’24′ Teaser NOW

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#JACKISBACK with a vengeance, and Keifer Sutherland came to play. In what’s predicted to be many world-ending adventures, the folks over at FOX smartly realized that if you’ve got a formula that works, bring it back. Watch below to see the Hollywood bad boy up his good guy status.

Sunday

9

March 2014

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COMMENTS

Lena Dunham Hosts SNL — How’d She do?

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Lena Dunham continues to grow on me. As the host of Saturday Night Live, she seemed incredibly at ease, delivering her lines as if she wrote them all herself. If she was nervous, it didn’t show. Watch her opening monologue, followed by my favorite sketch about an interrupting GPS.

Saturday

8

March 2014

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COMMENTS

Tabloid Gossip — Your Weekly News Rundown

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Lindsay Lohan got soaked on The Tonight Show. Vulture

Matthew McConaughey wants another baby. Contact Music

Christian Bale has a second baby on the way. People

Glee’s Harry Shum is engaged. E! Online

Khloe Kardashian has some fashion issues. Radar Online

Shakira’s husband won’t let her film music videos with men. D Listed

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are back together. ABC News

Scarlett Johansson is pregnant. Us Weekly

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber reunited . . . AGAIN. Hollywood Life

Juan Pablo Galavis is widely considered the “worst bachelor ever.” E! Online

Ke$ha left rehab. MTV

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are signing a prenup. SheKnows

Ireland Baldwin is single. WetPaint

Johnny Carson has a sex tape?! TMZ

Friday

7

March 2014

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COMMENTS

Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard v. Paparazzi Agency: Watch Access Hollywood Video

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Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have made it their personal mission to protect celebrity children from paparazzi pictures, and they’ve succeeded in stopping many magazines from purchasing those pictures. It’s clear the celebrity couple have done their research about the uphill battle in changing the laws associated with this horrific practice, so they’ve instead waged war on the magazines themselves, including many of the photo-agencies responsible for perpetuating the practice.

The power couple took their battle to Access Hollywood, where they directly confronted two members of a paparazzi agency, AKM-GSI CEO Steve Ginsburg and AKM-GSI reporter Christian Zimmerman. According to Bell, “If the paparazzi were no longer getting paid, they would stop hunting [her] children.”

Watch the video below, and take a moment to consider refraining from purchasing magazines and reading blogs that publish pictures of children. Here at The Dishmaster, I’d like to make it clear that I have never and will never publish any paparazzi pictures, including those of children. As an attorney, I am well aware that the paparazzi have a constitutional right to take those pictures. That being said, they are constitutional vultures.

Friday

7

March 2014

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COMMENTS

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