Ashton Kutcher’s alleged mistress is selling a sex tape and it’s being promoted as “the girl who had sex with Ashton Kutcher.” Kutcher is suing, claiming that this “infringes on his celebrity value.” Allow me to put this lawyer thing to use and explain why Ashton Kutcher’s handling of this has become mighty suspicious. First, when he was initially accused of having an affair with this woman by Star Magazine, he threatened to sue for defamation — but he never did. The problem with suing for defamation is that in order for Kutcher to have a case, the accusation has to be false. So the fact that Kutcher never sued leads me to believe that the information is true, and he therefore knew he wouldn’t win. Got it? That brings me to my next point. A small part of me thought Kutcher didn’t sue because, despite his oodles of cash, he simply didn’t feel like it. After all, does anyone believe Star Magazine anyways? Why waste money on a frivolous lawsuit, right? But here’s where it gets suspicious. As soon as this girl released a sex tape claiming that she’s the person who had sex with Kutcher, he decided to sue. Why? I suspect it’s because he finally found a case he can win. He’s not suing for defamation, he’s suing for “using his celebrity name” to promote a product. It’s sort of a smart move that I don’t think anyone but myself would catch. He can win the lawsuit, and the suit lets the public think he’s finally standing up for himself. Just a theory though. I’ve asked my friend to write a guest post on defamation to explain this further, so we’ll see if I ever get it. Are you reading this, mystery friend?
Tag: Ashton Kutcher
Britney Spears Beats Ashton Kutcher in Twitter Followers
I can’t decide if this news makes me happy or sad. On the one hand, I’m so in love with Britney Spears that I often find myself dancing in front of my mirror with a fake snake around my shoulders singing “I’m a Slave for You.” On the other hand, Ashton is the King of Twitter. He practically launched the social medium, and I hate to see a king lose his crown. I’ve therefore decided that Ashton and Britney are officially the King AND Queen of Twitter, and they need to have a cup of coffee to discuss what appearances they will make with these titles. Oh to be a fly on the wall during an Ashton/Britney conversation.
Jimmy Kimmel Throws Howard Stern an A-List Party – Hilarity Ensues
Howard Stern spent the weekend in Los Angeles while promoting his wife’s book (‘Oh My Dog’), and Jimmy Kimmel decided to throw him a welcome party. Kimmel appeared on Stern today to discuss the party, and it was some of Stern’s most hilarious radio yet. My favorite detail involved an argument between John Stamos and Mark McGrath, where Stamos got angry with “musician” McGrath for his inability to play any songs for their shitty house band ensemble. Stern insists that Stamos’ anger was unfounded, because at least everyone could play the song ‘Louie Louie’. Stamos also gave both Kimmel and Stern shit for not inviting Don Rickles, who was peeved at both Kimmel and Stern for the oversight. Oh yeah – Jeff Probst left in a tizzy because of Stern’s inappropriate attempt to interview him about his new girlfriend at the party. Other celebrity guests included: Ben Stiller; Christine Taylor; Natalie Maines; Ryan Phillipe; Will Arnett; Amy Poehler; Christa Miller; Bill Lawrence; Bob Iger; Ashton Kutcher; and Demi Moore. I’ve got to become friends with Jimmy Kimmel in time for the next Howard Stern party. Knowing Stern though, he probably won’t return to Los Angeles for another 15 years. Watch Beth Stern promote her book on Kimmel below.