When I was young I took the time to write down every one of my pet peeves, in hopes that I would review the very long list later in life and discover that the little things no longer bother me. Unfortunately, the plan didn’t work. But in honor of my therapeutic effort, I will share with you one of the pet peeves on the list. Here goes — you are not allowed to call something a “curse,” if it makes sense. What do I mean? Alright, I’m going to keep this description short and sweet. Many people are referring to Jennifer Grey’s recent back surgery as a “Dancing With the Stars curse.” Gee, I wonder how celebrities on that show get injured. It’s so mysterious, and therefore worthy of some kind of magical explanation. Could it be that it’s a rigorous dancing show that casts amateurs with little to no dancing experience? And there you have it — a logical explanation.
This video was sent my way some time ago, and it unfortunately got lost in my inbox. Luckily for my readers, I’m still posting it. Because Dancing With the Stars is such a popular show, the idea is often copied in other countries, and one of those countries is Argentina. Argentina’s version is called Dancing for a Dream, and it pairs celebrities up with regular people to fulfill their fantasy. In this case, the “regular guy” had a fantasy of dancing with Maxim and Playboy model, Silvina Escudero, and when you watch the video below, I’m sure you’ll agree that his wish was granted. The dance is x-rated to say the least, and in case you’re at work and can’t watch it, I’ll spoil the surprise and tell you that he simulates oral sex on her. I’m sure my male readers (and some of my female readers too) will also be pleased to find that there are many close-ups of Silvina’s ass in a thong. Enjoy!
Bristol Palin is inhaling a shit-storm of criticism for staying on Dancing With the Stars despite more successful dancers getting eliminated. Many blame the tea party for inflating votes, but I actually think voters got it right. If the competition was based solely on dancing ability, I could understand the outrage. But it’s not. It’s based on dancing ability, improvement, and personality. Brandy and Maksim both lacked the third element. Maksim is excessively arrogant, often talking back to the judges. For goodness sakes, he even defended slapping Brandy on the ass as part of his incredible teaching ability! You can’t win a voter-based competition and act like an ass. So congratulations Bristol — you deserve to be there.
Every time I watch Dancing With the Stars I’m reminded that Derek Hough is an incredible dancer, who is way more talented than any of the other professional dancers on the show. Tonight was no exception. I looked up his history, and the most interesting thing I found is that all four of his grandparents were dancers, which leads me to believe he was dancing in the womb. His performance tonight with Jennifer Grey might have been his best ever. Watch below.
Jennifer Grey got a visit from a very famous guy on tonight’s Dancing With the Stars — her father. Joel Grey is most known as the original Master of Ceremonies in Cabaret. Grey has won an Oscar, a Tony, and a Golden Globe for Cabaret, and he’s considered a Broadway legend. Watch his appearance below, and click the link to see him perform a scene from Caberet.
I often like to take credit for being able to predict a show’s success. Why? Because I’m an ego-maniac, of course, and I will take any opportunity to pat myself on the back. When I saw the first promos for Dancing With the Stars a million years ago, I was sure it would be a massive hit. That being said, Skating With the Stars is a terrible idea. Everyone relates to dancing, whether or not they danced professionally. Even Snooki can fist pump to a beat (yes, I consider fist-pumping a form of dance). But needless to say, not everyone can related to ice-skating, and this idea failed in the past. Remember Skating With Celebrities? Oh right — you don’t remember it because no one watched the show. Plus, there are already injuries on Dancing With the Stars — so add some ice — and I imagine there will be an ambulance or two.
Every single time someone prematurely gets eliminated from a television competition, people speculate that viewers assumed the contestant would be safe, and therefore didn’t vote. This conspiracy theory includes Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani, who were eliminated from Dancing With the Stars, despite Audrina’s very obvious talent as a dancer. So what’s the real reason she was eliminated? Well, it isn’t just about talent alone, and I’m surprised I have to explain this after so many seasons of the show. It’s about the personality of both the professional dancer and the celebrity, and without a strong combination, they’re doomed. There’s a reason that the same professionals win every year, and it isn’t luck. On Monday’s show, Tony Dovolani further confirmed his disdain for the judges, and I think it was enough to piss off the voting public. When the judges told Audrina that she “lacked passion” on her face, Tony said that he knew the judges missed it, but he’s certain the viewers at home saw it and will vote for him. Big mistake. Don’t insult the judges. Neither Tony nor Maksim Chmerkovskiy have won Dancing With the Stars, and both of them have a history of talking back to the judges. America wants to see that you are deserving of the trophy, which includes being able to accept criticism. Until then — you’ll continue to lose — no matter how talented your partner.
Jennifer Grey made me miss Patrick Swayze on last night’s Dancing With the Stars. She was fantastic, and I yearn for the good old days of dancing films. After all, I’ve almost exhausted my Gene Kelly Netflix queue, and I’ve seen Dirty Dancing approximately 57 times. And the new Footloose remake doesn’t count. Until the uncreative executives at movie studios come up with an original idea, I will continue to utter the line, “nobody puts Baby in a corner.” It also doesn’t hurt that Derek Hough is her partner, considering he’s the best professional dancer on the show. If you don’t agree, I’d like to remind you that every professional dancer needed an outside choreographer for last season’s finale, except Hough. Watch her performance below, and try not to cry.
In case you were wondering why Kate Gosselin would fly across the country every week to compete on Dancing With the Stars, the answer has been revealed. Popeater reports that Gosselin made $100,000 per episode, which means that she took home a grand total of $500,000. This paycheck does not surprise me. Gosselin was the biggest draw of the season, and after she left the ratings went down significantly. That explains why they brought her back for the finale, despite all of the reports about her being difficult. She sure is doing well lately. With her two new TLC shows, I don’t think she’ll have a problem feeding her eight children. Do you think Jon contributes at all anymore?
Am I hallucinating? Why on earth would the geniuses at ABC choose to re-air yesterday’s show? Oh wait . . . it just occurred to me. They are trying to compete with the ‘American Idol’ finale from 8:00 to 9:00 pm. You guys don’t have any original programming? After all, last night’s show is already uploaded on the ABC website. I wouldn’t be so infuriated if I didn’t momentarily think I lost my sanity while watching this repeat.