THE DISHMASTER

Jennifer Lopez definitely learned from her relationship errors. Every girl starts off life wanting the smart, successful guy that challenges her, and then she quickly realizes that the nice, hot guy makes life is much easier to live. And Casper Smart sure is nice and hot. Plus, did she drink some kind of youth serum? She looks damn beautiful. Perhaps it’s the young boyfriend.

I love curvy women. In fact, all of my celebrity girl-crushes have curves (see Selma Hayek & Jennifer Lopez). I’m not sure when it became hot for a woman to look like a little boy, but it’s gross, and it should end. And though I walk out of the room backwards when there’s a man in my bed, the Plus Model Magazine images below have certainly helped with my process. Look below to see America’s Next Top Model contestant, Katya Zharkova, posing naked in heels, and click here to read some startling statistics about the modeling industry.

 

If you go the sexy route for a magazine cover, you should be creative about it. And Jennifer Lopez knocked it out of the park (no pun intended). Her photos for V Magazine were sexy yet original. It takes an artist to put a spin on sex appeal, instead of just recycling old ideas. She even wore a groin protector! Too see the rest of the photos, click here.

The verdict is in, and Jim Rash had the best joke at the Oscars. While accepting the award for Best Adapted Screenplay for his work on The Descendants, Rash imitated Angelina Jolie’s moderately ridiculous pose by over-extending his own leg. Seriously though — even Jennifer Lopez’s green Versace dress didn’t draw this much attention — and it’s not because Jolie’s dress was risqué. It’s because it looked as though Jolie deliberately stuck her leg out of the dress for shock value. It didn’t work. Watch the video below.

Either American Idol is depriving their contestants of oxygen, or the producers have a knack for choosing very dramatic people. Can someone please explain why every contestant seems mentally unstable? If you can’t hold it together during this phase of the competition, how exactly do you plan to be a star? One contestant actually left the rehearsal to call his mother from a hotel, and the conversation included at least fifty “I love yous.” Perhaps the contestants aren’t eating? Maybe the room is excessively hot? But if that’s true, then why do the judges look perfectly healthy? And did I mention that Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, and Randy Jackson have the worst taste in the history of the show? These singers are horrific.

Here at The Dishmaster, I watch a lot of interviews. And there’s no one better to interview than Jennifer Lopez. First, she’s insanely beautiful with a great sense of fashion. And second, you can’t trip her up. She stays honest, while still managing to keep her privacy intact. It’s a delicate dance, and she’s mastered it. Watch her discuss her relationship with Marc Anthony while promoting Q’Viva.

When I heard the ratings report on Q’Viva I thought its success was largely attributed to the curiosity surrounding Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s post-divorce interaction. Then I watched the show. And it’s very good. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony travel the world looking for talent, and they definitely find it. There’s a certain type of magic and grit obtained when watching performers in their native country that is impossible to capture otherwise. This show has heart. It might have single-handedly revived my talent-show fatigue. Watch below.

Only Jennifer Lopez could successfully navigate an awkward Matt Lauer interview. She’s brilliant. Any other celebrity would have squirmed in anger at his invasive question-asking-style. Watch below.

“Hey, I’m from Boston! I love water . . . . Well I sat at La Reve all week and I just thought, I’ve watched the show all week and I’m a water guy and . . .  I just wanted a good excuse to take my clothes off in front of J.Lo.” Steven Tyler on why he went for a naked swim in the hotel pool, only to be discovered by a very surprised Jennifer Lopez.

If you wonder why Jennifer Lopez hasn’t looked sad lately, it’s probably because her marriage was over long before her official announcement. How do I know this? Because she’s on the cover of Vanity Fair discussing why she dumped MarK Anthony, and these interviews take place at least a month before they hit the stands. When asked about the divorce, she said, “Sometimes we don’t realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself — if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now.” Am I the only person that thinks publicly discussing the reason for leaving someone is inappropriate? On top of that, rumors are circulating that Mark cheated on her, and that he was extremely controlling. Though this might just be tabloid rumors, JLO’s camp hasn’t denied it, which leads me to believe they are responsible for the leaks. Sometimes your private life is best left private. You don’t see DiCaprio doing this.