Jessica Simpson sure wasn’t kidding when she called her daughter Maxwell “crazy beautiful.” The totally adorable tot is slightly over a year old and recently became a big sister when the Fashion Star host and her beau, Eric Johnson, welcomed Ace Knute Johnson.
There’s something very sad about this season’s American Idol — and I’m not referring to the loss of Simon Cowell (though that pains me as well). It’s the loss of Paula Abdul. There needs to be a beautiful, somewhat ditzy woman on the panel, who makes you tune in to see what crazy things she’ll say. Since re-casting Paula Abdul would likely damage the new brand that X-Factor is trying to present, it only makes sense to cast someone similar. Jessica Simpson is perfect! Like Paula, Jessica Simpson has had a huge career, most notably with her fashion empire. And also like Paula, Jessica has trouble expressing her point, and often comes off ridiculous in interviews. She’s certainly more together than the often slurring Abdul, but I predict that Simpson’s interplay with Simon Cowell would be television magic. Plus, I have a special attraction to woman with gigantic boobs and I’d like to see her outfits every week. After all, I’m a Kinsey 2.
There’s only two singers I’ve stopped listening to solely because of their terrible personalities. If you read my blog, you could easily guess that the lucky singers are Adam Levine and John Mayer. I stopped listening to John Mayer when he began to act ridiculous in interviews, and the Jessica Simpson debacle officially put the fork in him. I banned Adam Levine for just about the same reason. I’m aware that he’s only one member of an entire band, but he’s annoying enough for me to cut off Maroon 5 as a whole. He’s in love with himself, and his new naked ad is no exception. I’ve pulled a quote for your enjoyment. Levine said, “I spend most of my life naked. In fact, I often have to be told by the people around me that it’s inappropriate to be as naked as I am. But I live in California, where it’s always warm, so why not?” First of all Adam, I also live in California, and I can assure you that I wore a very heavy jacket today because it’s too cold for nudity. Second, aren’t you secretly a dorky Jewish guy that couldn’t get laid for most of your teenage life? I don’t know for sure — but I’m guessing. Maybe I just get angry when the Jewish guys date blond chicks — because you know — us Jewish brunettes are more attractive.