Jessica Simpson is Still Having a Rough Go of It

I’m rooting for Jessica Simpson. I’ve always been a fan, I watched newlyweds, and when she and Nick Lachey split up it felt like the end of an era. But they were young, and they didn’t stand a chance with the monkey of Hollywood on their back.

Since the show has ended, Jessica Simpson has had great success as a businesswoman and mother of three, and Nick Lachey has started a family of his own. It therefore baffles me why Jessica Simpson would take the route of writing a memoir, especially if she is not in the mental place to do it.

Though I know absolutely nothing about her on a personal level, it took me two seconds to watch her interview on The Today Show to surmise that even though she proclaims to be sober, something is awry. I by no means want to pick on her, but I also want to make it clear that I’m not buying what she’s selling, literally and figuratively. 

Tabloid Gossip: Let’s Talk Turkey

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Another Bachelor baby was brought into the world. E! Online

Kanye West might spend Thanksgiving at the hospital. People

Sofia Vergara called Joe Manganiello the “love of [her] life.” Pop Sugar

Amy Schumer and her boyfriend celebrated one year together with a lot of love. USA Today

Kylie Jenner went topless with Tyga on Instagram. Fox News

Jessica Simpson has beautiful children. Wet Paint

Melania Trump and her son won’t be moving to the White House. NYP

Supernatural’s Mark Sheppard is married. Brides

Carrie Fisher had an affair with Harrison Ford. Movie Pilot

Jersey Shore’s Deena Cortese got engaged. Starcasm

Blac Chyna gave birth to another Kardashian spawn. Daily Mail

Rebecca Romijn isn’t happy Gigi Hadid’s “mommy” entered their feud. Bravo

Naya Rivera is divorcing Ryan Dorsey after two years of marriage. Too Fab

Alicia Silverstone got naked to protest wool. RTW

Actress Amber Tamblyn is expecting a baby girl with David Cross. Yahoo!

Is Kendall Jenner dating a Laker? Mirror

Adele has baby number two on the way. ELLE

Ashley Olsen has a new man. MSN

Larsa Pippen traded Scotty Pippen for Future (Did she check his stats first? No one trades Pippen). SOHH

 

Tabloid Gossip: Your Week of Links

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Does Caitlyn Jenner regret becoming a woman? Christian Post

Aubrey O’Day and Pauly D are dating again. Starcasm

Hayden Panettiere re-entered treatment for postpartum depression. Yahoo!

Katy Perry is not phased by Orlando Bloom’s flirty photos with Selena Gomez. HL

Kylie Jenner and Tyga called it quits. People

James McAvoy is back on the market. Jezebel

Will Ozzy Osbourne saved his marriage to Sharon Osbourne with sex rehab? Inquisitr

Jessica Simpson will debut new music. E! Online

Gordon Ramsay has a fifth child on the way. Us Mag

Joan Rivers’ family reached a settlement. CNN

Henry Cavill and his teenage girlfriend called it quits. WetPaint

Tinseltown’s new it-girl, Brie Larson, is engaged. Mtv

Tabloid Gossip: Your Week of Links

Tyra Banks wants a baby, and it’s not so easy. People

‘The Rock’ has a baby on the way. Radar

Drake and Serena are still going strong. HUFFPO

Britney Spears went on a date with Lindsay Lohan’s ex. The Frisky

Ellen Page debuted her new girlfriend. ET Online 

Nerdist host Chris Hardwick got engaged to Lydia Hearst. Pajiba

Vanessa Williams got an apology from Miss America. Idolator

Did Jessica Simpson pay Nick Lachey $12 million? Radar

Robert Herjavec and Kym Johnson are still together. Hollywood Life

Is Zayn Malik dating Rita Ora? ICYDK

Did Scott Disick hook up with Kimberly Stewart? Wonderwall

‘Girls’ star Alison Williams is married. Refinery29

Comedian Steve Rannazzisi lied about being in 9/11. TMZ

Kylie Jenner sent Jessica Alba flowers after her bodyguard “body checked” her. E! Online

Was Jessica Simpson Drunk on #HSN?

Though I wasn’t there and I don’t know Jessica Simpson personally, I’d bet some serious cash on the fact that she was under the influence during her recent HSN performance. Rumors have long circulated that she has issues with alcohol, and I dismissed their validity until watching the video below. Her team has been quick to dismiss the drama, suggesting that she was simply being her quirky self and being off a script can lead to less than perfect moments. Here’s my note for Jessica’s team: I can tell the difference between a drunk person and a nervous ditz. In case you don’t believe me, watch the video of Lauren Katlin attempting to answer a simple question during a pageant. Jessica’s Simpson’s slur-fest is video two.

Jessica Simpson: Nick Lachey Marriage Was a “Money Mistake”

When asked about her “biggest money mistakes” during an appearance on CNBC’s Closing Bell, Jessica Simpson joked about her “first marriage,” to Nick Lachey. Her answer is interesting on numerous levels. First, when Jessica married Nick Lachey, he was the primary earner, having made a lot of money with 98 Degrees. As a result, her father encouraged her to forgo a pre-nup, with the obvious assumption that it wasn’t in her interest. She didn’t anticipate that the financials would quickly turn and that decision would later work against her. At the time, rumors circulated that Lachey was a gentleman in his departure, taking home less than $1.5 million. Judging by Jessica’s joke, those rumors might not have been accurate. Watch below.

Donnie Wahlberg & Jenny McCarthy Copy Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey

donnie_wahlberg_jenny_mccarthyAll celebrities swear their relationship is strong enough to survive reality television, despite overwhelming evidence against it. In a shocking move, Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg have boarded the same crazy train that saw the demise of far too many marriages. While I’m less surprised by McCarthy’s move, Wahlberg’s compliance is confusing. He’s an actor with credible credits, and his pop-star, NKOTB status likely secured enough finances for his entire family. And if they plan to restrict the show’s access to secure their privacy, the content will inevitably fail. This is a lose-lose proposition, and it’s not only creatively questionable, it’s also dumb.

 

 

Dane Cook Has Had a Lot of Gross Groupie Sex

Dane Cook is a clear example of a comedian that should have landed an A-list lady in his prime, because he’s now the guy with a dirty p*nis that f*cked hundreds of groupies and insults Jessica Simpson for sport. Perhaps I’m humorless, but I feel defensive of the reigning fashion diva whose managed to make nearly a billion dollars. If she’s “dumb,” may we all forgo a few brain cells for her success. Also, leave it to the press to pounce on Dane’s insult instead of the alarming amount of groupies he gave it up to. That is GROSS, and he should soak his sausage in boiling water.

Tabloid News Review: Weekly Rundown

Eddie Murphy’s daughters are all grown up . . . and nearly naked. HUFFPO

Does Kim Kardashian have a new baby on board? The Stir

Alyssa Milano wants another baby. What’s New

Is Christina Aguilera about to be a mom again? Rumor Fix

Tom Sizemore faked those hilarious Bill Clinton quotes. Cinema Blend

Ireland Baldwin debuted a very cute snapshot with her new sister. Instagram

Selena Gomez left rehab early. Zap2It

Babyface is engaged. Contact Music

Jessica Simpson debuted her slimmer figure. Jessica Simpson

Celebrity News in Brief — Your Tabloid Rundown

  • Khloe Kardashian wasn’t surprised by KrisBruce Jenner’s separation. Contact Music 
  • Leighton Meester and Adam Brody are engaged. MTV
  • Kelly Rowland might be engaged. Hollywood Life
  • Eva Longoria debuted her new boyfriend. Wonderwall
  • Whitney Port is engaged. Popsugar
  • Is Harry Styles dating Kendall Jenner? Just Jared
  • Jessica Simpson has a very cute family. NYDN
  • Marc Anthony’s ex-wife wants more child support. WetPaint
  • Clint Eastwood’s daughter married Jonah Hill’s brother. USA Today
  • Macaulay Culkin has a new girlfriend. E! Online