THE DISHMASTER

“I think this will hurt Gaga a little in the long term. It’s brought up again the fact she loves animals and wears fur. Fashion Police’ is funny. Gaga, of all people, should know that. She worked the same little clubs I did in the Village. She has gay followers and she doesn’t know funny? For God’s sake, calm down. I think that Gaga, who is making hundreds of millions of dollars a year with a bad nose, should get on her knees and thank God.” Joan Rivers on Lady Gaga’s feud with Kelly Osbourne over Kelly’s critique of Gaga’s recent weight gain.

“I am choosing not to comment on whether or not the furs I purchase are faux fur-pile or real because I would think it hypercritical not to acknowledge the python, ostrich, cow hide, leather, lamb, alligator, ‘kermit’ and not to mention meat, that I have already worn. You see a carcass, I see a museum pièce de résistance.” Lady Gaga’s hilarious speech about her choice to wear fur — and every other animal on the planet.

Perfection. Imagination. RuPaul.

Photographed by: Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott

“I was fat and miserable, but her career was blossoming. I couldn’t even watch reruns of Seinfeld without seeing her singing in her underwear. I was happy for her, of course, but I didn’t need my ex shoved down my throat. I basically had no choice but to run. And run I did. I used to get more women when I was broke, flabby and completely wasted all the time – but those women were sloppy 22-year-olds, the kind of women who messed up my sheets and asked for cab fare in the morning.” Lady Gaga’s ex-boyfriend, Luc Carl, on what it was like when she became famous and his decision to get in shape.

“This is a wonderful way to redo my song. I mean, I recognized the chord changes. I thought it was… interesting.” Madonna on the striking similarities between Lady Gaga’s Born This Way and Madonna’s Express Yourself.

I must hate performance art. That has to be the explanation for why I think Lady Gaga’s new video for Marry the Night is absolutely awful. I shouldn’t be so harsh though. After all, it’s not really a music video. It’s more like a fine-tuned, overpriced, musicless misstep that the “little monsters” will predictably drool over with delight. But to put my critique plainly — where’s the f*****g music? Oh right — it starts at minute eight (no, I’m not kidding). We sure have come a long way since Thriller.

“Even if I had a really good figure, I don’t think I’d get my tits and ass out for no one.  I love seeing Lady Gaga’s boobs and bum. I love seeing Katy Perry’s boobs and bum. Love it. But that’s not what my music is about. I don’t make music for eyes. I make music for ears.” Adele on whether being in the spotlight makes her concerned about her weight.

Remember in college when your friends went to that very loud club with the terrible music, got super-wasted, and insisted that they were having the time of their life? Let’s just say that Nicki Minaj’s performance at the American Music Awards brought back some of those painful memories. Does anyone just sing anymore? Is Lady Gaga responsible for these costume monstrosities? For goodness sakes, what was on Nicki Minaj’s ass during the opening of that song? If the show is called the ‘American Music Awards,’ then where is the real music? Watch below.

I have to admit that I’m not a Lady Gaga fan. I find her to be indulgent and inauthentic. Plus, I don’t love her music. Having said that, her performance of ‘Edge of Glory’ on Howard Stern blew me away. Dave Grohl once said that his acoustic performance of ‘Everlong’ on Howard Stern put Foo Fighters on the map, and I have a feeling Gaga will join Grohl in the Howard Stern history books. Listen below.

I’m often confused by a Producer’s decision to remove controversial segments of a show.  Sure, they might cause a stir, but it makes for great television, and it would certainly make headlines.  Plus, it’s real.  Reports are circulating that Christina Aguilera is a diva on the new show, The Voice, and she recently took aim Lady Gaga while critiquing a contestant’s performance.  If it’s true that Aguilera insulted Gaga (which wouldn’t be the first time), then they should have aired the segment.  People would surely tune in to see her antics.  Though this story came out of The National Enquirer and is therefore subject to speculation, my experience tells me that reports of diva behavior are usually true. Employees on the show often become infuriated enough to blab to tabloids, in hopes of damaging the reputation of terrible celebrities.