THE DISHMASTER

Since Jenny McCarthy is so aware of her strengths, perhaps she can petition MTV to bring back “Singled Out.” Aside from ‘Temptation Island,’ that was the best dating show on television. This is her sixth cover of Playboy, and she looks incredible. In fact, this might be my favorite cover, since she actually looks as if she’s a healthy weight. I hear she brings back the eighties in her photo-shoot. Let’s hope it sets a trend, because it would certainly reduce my monthly grooming bill by a significant amount.

There are very few reality show couples that I believe to be truly in love. But CT and Diem’s love story was one of the more magical things to watch. He fell in love with her when she was in her cancer recovery and her hair was just growing back, and she tamed the bad boy. When MTV brought them back together for another show, I was elated. After all, deep down inside I’m nothing but a hopeless romantic. Watch them discuss the show below. Here’s hoping the second time around is a charm. Further Reading: Dear Chris “CT” Tamburello — The Dishmaster Wants to Interview You

Get More: The Challenge (Season 22), Full Episodes

To prove that all good things don’t have to end, Mike Judge and Mtv have reunited to give America the gift of Beavis and Butthead. Watch below.

There are days where I fantasize about how much easier my life might be if I looked like Maria Menounos. Then I remind myself of my fantastic personality and amazing breasts, and I squash my pity-party. And speaking of personality — why is it that Maria Menounos is hired to interview the cast of MTV’s ‘The Challenge: Rivals’ and can’t be bothered to ask the most important questions? I realize the show is about physical challenges, but some of those physical challenges include sex, and I’d like to know which cast members are still having it — with each other. The only relevant question she asked involved Jenn Grijalva and Adam King, and after watching Jenn huff-and-puff over nothing (no pun intended), I still have absolutely no idea whether she and Adam had sex in the back of a bus. I blame Maria for that. And what about Chris “CT” Tamburello and Laurel Stucky? Since CT is so beautiful he hurts my eyes, imagine my disappointment when Maria failed to confirm his single status. I suppose that’s neither here nor there since CT and I have a date on a deserted island somewhere where he’ll go out into the ocean and catch me fish with his bare hands. A girl can dream, can’t she? And finally, are Wes Bergmann and Mandy Moyer still friends-with-benefits? What exactly did Maria think she was paid to ask during this interview? Perhaps she needs to watch more of those Real Housewives reunions and take some notes from the great Andy Cohen.

UPDATE: It’s been brought to my attention by a very kind commenter that Maria did in fact ask the correct questions but the douchey editor over at MTV decided to edit those out. For details on what really happened, and the answers to the questions I posed above, read Adam King’s blog. You’ll be relieved to know that CT is still available — for me. And my major apologies to Maria for insulting her interviewing skills.

The most painful reality of life is not getting to share it with our greatest love. For some kind of horrific, unexplainable reason, we don’t always get to be with our most powerful love, and only Adele could master this pain in her beautiful song, ‘Someone Like You.’ She wrote it after her relationship ended with “the love of her life,” and she later said she would “never forgive herself” for its failure. In the song, Adele imagines what it would be like to run into her ex years later, after having discovered he settled down with someone else, and she was still searching. There is quite possibly nothing worse. I’ve posted her chilling performance from the Video Music Awards below, and I dare you to listen to it without crying. I have to warn you though — if you just exited a relationship, you should probably refrain. In fact, I’m currently on hiatus from the entire album. It’s just too damn close to home.

Get More: 2011 VMA, Music, Adele

ENJOY THE FASHION FROM THIS YEAR’S MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS!

Kim Kardashian

Maria Menounos — Man, she’s hot!

Katie Holmes

Beyonce showing off her baby bump for the first time 

Selena Gomez

The Cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ — Looking extra orange

Victoria Justice

Shaun Robinson

Kelly Rowland

Britney Spears

Bonnie McKee

*Photos Courtesy of MTV

Once upon a time, I studied abroad in a European country that will go unnamed to protect the innocent parties involved. While there, I distinctly remember my class of neanderthals engaging in a beer chugging race on the beach. The locals were disgusted, and I thought, “that’s why they hate Americans — because they are gross.” Europeans might drink a lot, but they don’t exceed their tolerance, and they certainly don’t publicly vomit or openly scream profanities. The reason I’m on my high horse, is because I just watched the new trailer for Jersey Shore, and it’s tragic. It’s not that I’m a Jersey Shore hater, it’s just that I’m fully aware that this group of folks solidify the disdain for Americans. Having said that, I will watch every minute of the new season. It looks damn funny.

Get More: Jersey Shore, MTV Shows, Jersey Shore (Season 3), MTV Shows

If you ever watch Mtv, then you’re familiar with a gentleman named Chris Tamburello, or “CT.” He’s a notorious bad boy, and his most famous melt-down occurred when he almost killed Adam King and ate him for sport. But since every girl wants a bad-boy with a heart, I’d still marry CT and have beautiful babies with him. The man sure is gorgeous. Sure he has some emotional issues — who doesn’t? Watch his fights below. He looks damn fine when he’s angry.

Get More: The Challenge: Rivals, MTV Shows

For years I’ve been wanting to see Loveline on television again. It was one of my favorite shows growing up, and it taught me everything I didn’t want to know about third nipples. I was so obsessed I even caught the evening radio show after watching it on MTV. Since Adam Carolla left the show, it has never been the same. Carolla says he left because he was strangely offered a much lower salary, which led him to think someone wanted to push him out. The disloyal Dr. Drew chose to continue the show without his much-need partner in crime, and Mike Catherwood is his current co-host. If you saw Catherwood on Dancing With the Stars, then I don’t need to explain why Mike Catherwood is not exactly . . . entertaining. So does it really make a difference that AOL will start to air video of Loveline? Bring back Adam Carolla!

Tonight was a big night for Britney Spears. Though she’s appeared on different shows, she has yet to perform at an awards show since the MTV Video Music Awards debacle. When I first heard she’d be performing at the Billboard Music Awards, I thought it was a tabloid rumor. Then I heard the details, and it immediately became clear. Rihanna carried it, and Britney did a brief, one minute performance. Overall, it was fine. Since I’ve attacked Britney Spears for her recently lack of choreography, I’d like to note that Rihanna’s performance indicates that choreography isn’t essential to success. In fact, all you have to do to entertain the crowd is dress like a whore and gyrate on stage. Oh yeah — and wear a thong while imaginary men reach their hands toward your exposed ass. I’m not a prude, though — I just call it like I see it. Watch their performance below.
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