It's Not Gossip, It's Commentary
“I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump. I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay-Z was allowed to become Jay-Z.”
Kanye West’s profound quote to the New York Times
Before I start this post, I’d like to express my strong dislike for Sarah Palin. Having said that, I’m about to defend her. News outlets everywhere are still citing Katie Couric’s infamous question about Sarah Palin’s reading choices as a hard journalistic revelation. Allow me to put this to bed. When Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin what newspapers she reads and Palin refused to answer, everyone assumed that Palin simply didn’t read. But here’s the snag: if I’m being interviewed, and the “journalist” asks me what newspapers I read, I might tell such “journalist” to take a flying leap (or something laced with more profanity, which I’ll refrain from printing, because it’s not lady-like). The question itself implies negative judgment, and a real journalist wouldn’t ask it (such as Barbara Walters, for example). I’m fully confident Palin dodged that question because she was offended, and not because she’s never heard of the New York Times. Even a monkey knows about the New York Times. And before my readers attack me, please read the first sentence of this post again.
This story is too funny not to post. Steve Martin was interviewed by New York Times Magazine writer Deborah Solomon about his new art book, The Object of Beauty, and the audience found it so boring that the Executive Director of the 92nd Street Y gave them their money back. Martin wasn’t pleased, and he said that catering an interview to the audience’s wishes is akin to “an actor responding in Act III to an audience’s texts to ‘shorten the soliloquies.’ ” Before I attack Steve Martin, I’d like to say that I am declaring today’s blog theme to be “The Celebrity Narcissist.” Here’s what Steve Martin doesn’t understand: It’s not that the audience is too low-brow for a discussion on art. It’s that everyone and their mother thinks of Steve Martin as an actor and a comedian, so obviously when you sell tickets to an event where he’s being interviewed, the kind of people that attend that event do not want to hear Steve Martin wax-on about his love of art, and if If they were, I imagine they would have gone to a gallery opening instead. The fact that he doesn’t understand that means he’s been in his celebrity fishbowl way too long.
Is there some sort of journalism school that critics go to, where they teach them how to be incessantly negative, regardless of quality? Chelsea Handler hosted the Video Music Awards, and to be expected, the critics bashed her. Almost every single host for the Video Music Awards has been bashed by critics, including the great Russell Brand, who was initially slaughtered in the press, and then invited back the following year, once Mtv saw its ratings jump. Similar to Brand, Chelsea Handler’s hosting stint brought huge ratings, despite the criticism. To prove my point, I’ve compiled a list of the arbitrarily harsh critics that insulted Handler, and pulled their very same critiques of Russell Brand. Enjoy!
New York Times
Chelsea Handler: “And then there was the awkward plight of the night’s host, Chelsea Handler. She was among the worst in the show’s history — purposefully out-of-touch, with brief, alarming flashes of off-color racial humor.”
Russell Brand: “He was the host of last year’s MTV Video Music Awards, where he was mischievous but seemed slightly pale and lost, a potty-mouth Ziggy Stardust brought down to earth. That’s about all, though.”
Headline Planet — Brian Cantor
Chelsea Handler: “Humor was also much appreciated, given how intently host Chelsea Handler tried to murder comedy over the course of the broadcast.”
Russell Brand: “Though host Russell Brand’s opening monologue was sexually charged, it did not feature the edgy content necessary to rival last year’s controversy.”
Alan Sepinwall — Hitfix
Chelsea Handler: “It pains me to say it, but Chelsea Handler was in over her head with hosting duties. The stage was just too big for her and the audience too distant. She boringly oscillated between jokes about sleeping with rappers and jokes about partying hard, sometimes with a dash of absurdist bad behavior (like trying to steal Justin Bieber’s ‘wig’).”
Russell Brand: “Perhaps it was the fervor and speed at which every joke needed to be delivered, but Russell Brand’s humor seemed to fall flat left and right.”
Nekesa Mumbi Moody– Associated Press
Chelsea Handler: “Host Chelsea Handler gave the show its traditional bawdiness, though her jokes often fell flat.”
Russell Brand: “There were a few more laughs during comedian Russell Brand’s opening monologue, but the celeb audience seemed more nervous than amused, as the frenetic Brit took aim at Madonna, the virginity of teen sensations the Jonas Brothers and President Bush, whom he called “a retarded cowboy fellow.”