THE DISHMASTER

Since Jenny McCarthy is so aware of her strengths, perhaps she can petition MTV to bring back “Singled Out.” Aside from ‘Temptation Island,’ that was the best dating show on television. This is her sixth cover of Playboy, and she looks incredible. In fact, this might be my favorite cover, since she actually looks as if she’s a healthy weight. I hear she brings back the eighties in her photo-shoot. Let’s hope it sets a trend, because it would certainly reduce my monthly grooming bill by a significant amount.

When Marilyn Monroe appeared on the first issue of Playboy Magazine in 1953, it was revolutionary. Hugh Hefner battled against American’s puritanical values and brought sex into public conversation. But decades later, sex is everywhere. Actresses sexualize themselves to become popular, and almost every A-lister has graced a magazine cover nearly naked. So when Lindsay Lohan posed for Playboy Magazine, I wasn’t impressed. First, she’s already been naked numerous times, thereby decreasing my curiosity, and second, the pictures are heavily airbrushed. Unfortunately or fortunately, her career plummeted, and the Playboy shoot probably provided some much-needed cash. The end of an actresses career is very similar to the beginning — you take what you can get, because the offers are limited. So she did. And though she’s certainly pretty enough to pull this off – I find it generally boring.

It’s time for celebrities everywhere to get over Marilyn Monroe. I get it — she was beautiful, tortured, and talented — but can’t someone think of a more original person to copy? At least Jennifer Aniston had the bright idea to copy Barbra Streisand. Lindsay Lohan has hopped on board the copy-cat train with her new Playboy shoot, where she will be “channeling” Marilyn Monroe’s Tom Kelley nude pictorial. No word yet on whether she’ll follow this up with a Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her arm like Megan Fox. Further Reading: Karina Smirnoff Poses for Playboy — What’s the Point?

My favorite law school professor once said, “people think the United States moves at a snail pace. That’s true of everything but sex.” At the time, he was discussing obscenity laws, but the vintage Hugh Hefner interview below reminded me of his claim. It’s interesting to see how revolutionary Playboy magazine was, propelled by Hugh Hefner’s own chutzpah. Sure there’s still a plethora of people preaching abstinence, but we’ve definitely come a long way. Watch below.

Hugh Hefner isn’t just a smart business man — he also has a sense of humor. Instead of letting Crystal Harris’ Playboy Magazine cover run with a “Mrs. Hefner” title, he decided to alter the issue by slapping a “Runaway Bride” sticker on it. I find this especially funny because it actually ruins Harris’ dream cover, considering her well-toned body is now slightly covered with an ugly sticker. Good job, Hef!

If you watch this season’s Celebrity Apprentice, then you know that NeNe Leakes waivers between insanity and brilliance. I just watched Sunday’s episode, and the clip below solidifies NeNe’s comedic timing. To summarize the clip, NeNe assigned Hope Dworaczyk the task of modeling some hair-care products. NeNe likely figured that Hope could pull it off, especially considering Hope models for a living. In fact, she was Playmate of the Year. Apparently, being a model is harder than harder than I thought. Watch below! Continue Reading

I’m a huge fan of Playboy. I grew up in a house with Playboy magazines on the coffee table, and I read it for the articles (no, I’m not kidding). That being said, I have absolutely no idea why Karina Smirnoff would pose for the magazine. She’s already famous from Dancing With the Stars, and this will do nothing to elevate her career. Did she get paid a huge sum of cash? And please don’t tell me she wants to celebrate nudity — because it will pain me to respond. When you’re navigating your career in the business, every choice you make must be strategic. You cannot shoot from the hip, which seems to be happening here. Playboy is a vehicle for hot chicks that are struggling to get noticed, not for people already famous. Yes, Marilyn Monroe did it — but that was a different time. These shoots don’t get the same attention they used to.

When Kim Kardashian posed naked for W Magazine, I, along with many other bloggers, called her a hypocrite.  She previously said she regretted her Playboy shoot, so I found it ridiculous that she would pose naked again, in an even more revealing shoot.  In the tearful video below, you’ll see that Kim actually thought the pictures would be covered with artwork, and she didn’t anticipate that her ass-crack or nipples would be shown.  If it’s true that W Magazine lied to her, I have no idea why she didn’t openly denounce the magazine at the time, given the bad press surrounding the shoot.  So is W Magazine really just a shady man that lies to a woman to get her clothes off?  The short answer is yes.  In a recent statement, the magazine called the shoot an “artistic collaboration,” which is a “meditation on the influence reality TV has on contemporary culture.”   I have no idea what that means, but I’ll try to translate.  Here goes — “W Magazine wanted to sell more issues, and there’s no better way to achieve that than to get Kim Kardashian completely naked while covered with silver body paint.  Sure she said she wanted her ass-crack covered, so we lied and said we’d do it.  Isn’t it hysterical that she fell for it?”

There’s a lot of buzz on the internet about Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks’ “Playboy past.”  Can I just say that unless she’s naked, there’s no scandal.  She’s in a bikini in a highly air-brushed and artistic photo-shoot, which is less revealing than if she was photographed by Paparazzi on the beach.  I’d also like to say that, despite the viewpoint of my highly conservative friends, Playboy is not a scandalous magazine.  There’s no longer a need to hide it under your couch cushions, and it’s certainly okay to take it to Starbucks and read it for the articles.  Isn’t it?  Perhaps that’s why I get such strange looks while I’m drinking my coffee.  To see the “scandalous” pictures, click the link below.

CHRISTINA HENDRICKS — PLAYBOY — THE SMOKING JACKET

Chloe Sevigny’s recent Playboy interview drew my attention to a very old feud, which was just juicy enough to recount.  In 2003, Sevigny starred in The Brown Bunny, a movie written and directed by Vincent Gallo.  The film gained a lot of negative attention because Sevigny performed “unsimulated fellatio” on Gallo.  Translation?  She actually blew him — it wasn’t movie magic.   When the film debuted at the Cannes Film Festival, Roger Ebert said it was “the worst film in the history of Cannes.”  Gallo didn’t take his comment lightly, and began a very funny war of the words with the greatest wordsmith that ever lived.  Gallo called Ebert “a fat pig with the physique of a slave trader.”  Ebert then retorted with a play on Winston Churchill’s famous quote, saying, “It is true that I am fat, but one day I shall be thin, and he will still be the director of The Brown Bunny.”  Gallo, who still hadn’t learned his lesson, said he put a hex on Roger Ebert’s colon.  Ebert was unphased, saying, “a colonoscopy is more entertaining to watch than The Brown Bunny.”  The irony of this feud is that Gallo later re-edited the entire film, and Ebert ultimately gave it a thumbs up, claiming that he rescued it.  There’s still a lesson to be learned here, though — don’t mess with Roger Ebert.