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Taylor Swift Goes for Kanye . . . Again

Update: I contemplated deleting this awful post, but then I’d be hiding the evidence of my ignorance. Shame on me for not understanding “as a lawyer and former debater” that the phone call between Kanye West (who we now know as a disgusting antiSemite) and the genius that is Taylor Swift was editing, chopped up, and recorded illegally to make her look like a villainous hypocrite. I’ve not heard the entire phone call that effectively cancelled her at the time and once again — SHAME.ON.ME. If word of my update ever makes its way to team Taylor, I send my sincerest apologies.

RS1332 Taylor Swift Photograph by by Erik Madigan Heck for Rolling Stone

As long as Taylor Swift is going to parse out her Kanye West feud point-for-point, so is The Dishmaster, because as a current lawyer and former debater, I know how to read between the lines — and Taylor Swift’s lines are actually circles.

Let’s review. Swift and West’s feud began at the MTV Video Music Awards when West interrupted her speech to boldly proclaim that Beyonce should have won. They briefly reconciled, but their new love took a left turn when West wrote a song about Swift, with the lyrics, “I made that bitch famous” and “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex.” When West’s wife, Kim Kardashian, came to her husband’s defense, Swift’s team attempted to demoralize her with a cutting, sexist quote, saying:

“Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West. However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect. Kanye West and Taylor only spoke once on the phone while she was on vacation with her family in January of 2016 and they have never spoken since. Taylor has never denied that conversation took place. It was on that phone call that Kanye West also asked her to release the song on her Twitter account, which she declined to do. Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term ‘that bitch’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian’s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.”

Swift doubled down when she accepted the GRAMMY Award saying, “There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame.” Team West/Kardashian finally had enough and released the actual footage of Swift gleefully consenting to West’s use of the song. In the leaked footage, Swift can be heard calling West “awesome” for being “outspoken” in declaring that the VMA incident “made her famous.”

I suspect Swift was not aware she was being recorded, as there’s no way in hell her team would release the above quote if they had knowledge that it could be disproved in an instant. Furthermore, it’s illegal. California is a two-party state, which means that it is illegal for West to record anything without Swift’s permission or knowledge. West/Kardashian obviously knew that a lawsuit would serve to further soil Swift’s reputation, so they took the risk in releasing it.

When Swift got word of the release, her entire argument hinged on West NOT asking to use the words “that bitch,” saying ” You don’t get to control someone’s emotional response to being called ‘that bitch’ in front of the entire world.” Though we don’t get to “control” her emotional response, we do get to judge whether its genuine. And the evidence suggests it is not genuine. She did not object to West declaring that he made her famous (yet Swift took aim at this line during her GRAMMY speech) and she did not object to a line involving the two having sex. On the leaked footage she is heard saying that the sex lyric is actually “tongue in cheek.” If she didn’t object to both those lines, it stands to reason she would also not object to being called “that bitch.” But a busted person gets desperate — and she did the best she could to remove the red paint from her hands.

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Swift resurrected the feud, claiming Kanye is two-faced. Swift recounts being asked by West to present him with the Vanguard Award only to say on stage, “MTV got Taylor Swift up here to present me this award for ratings!” But Rolling Stone fact-checked her claim, and West’s EXACT quote is, “You know how many times they announced Taylor was going to give me the award ’cause it got them more ratings?” The difference between those two sentences is MASSIVE. Swift’s claim implies West baited her to present the award and then made it look like it was solely MTV’s decision. His actual quote implies that HE wanted her to present the award but it was MTV who capitalized on the kind gesture between friends for ratings. While it’s possible she does not understand the difference between those two quotes, it’s also possible that this is once again a desperate attempt to revive her reputation.

For the life of me I do not understand why Swift won’t let this die. Part of me wants to believe she thinks she’s right and doesn’t understand the facts. But then I remember her sexist quote about Kim Kardashian and her deplorable GRAMMY speech and it hit me — she doesn’t think she’s right, she wants to win.

Rolling Stone Covers the Boston Bomber — Outrage Ensues

Rolling Stone should know better than this. Good journalism and morality are not mutually exclusive, and this crossed a definitive line. While it’s certainly true that America is obsessed with a killer’s mind in an attempt to understand the impetus for evil, there’s a way to write an article that doesn’t include blasting a killer’s face on the cover a magazine as if he’s some kind of rock star. And furthermore, the picture in question is flattering, and for a murderer — couldn’t they pick another?

I imagine a bunch of executives in a room debating about whether to use this image, fully anticipating the backlash, and doing it anyways. Shock value sells magazines — so why not?

Quote of the Day — Jon Hamm & His Gigantic Penis

“I mean, it’s not like I’m a f—ing lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my c–k, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal [of fame].” Jon Hamm, on the blogosphere erupting over his entrance into the ‘large members only’ club.

Jimmy Kimmel Bashes Leno — Playground Bully?

Though I’m an adamant fan of both Howard Stern and Jimmy Kimmel, I’m officially putting a public stop to their Leno bashing. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, Kimmel put a predictable hit out on Leno, saying, “As a comedian, you can’t not have disdain for what he’s done. He totally sold out. He was a master chef who opened a Burger King.”

I certainly take shots at celebrities I dislike, but that’s mostly driven by my inside knowledge about how they treat their staff. And my inside sources tell me Leno treats his staff with the utmost respect. Additionally, if it’s true that the guy sold out, then I’d like to scream “SO WHAT” from the rooftops. He’s employed a plethora of people, and if selling his soul includes telling schmaltzy jokes publicly while maintaining his comedic integrity during his stand-up gigs, then so be it. Lastly, I will once again reiterate that I do not hold Leno accountable during the NBC/Conan debacle. Conan pushed Leno out, and Leno fought to maintain his gig. Anyone in their right mind would do the same — including Kimmel. Have some tact.

John Mayer in Rolling Stone — Relates to Kanye West

I just sat down to read John Mayer’s very intriguing interview in Rolling Stone, and there was one particular exchange I had to share. In the midst of Mayer’s emotional lament about the public backlash he received during his media-madness tour, I found the gem below. Enjoy.

John Mayer: “People don’t understand — when you screw up, and you feel that wave of energy of a million people saying, ‘Shame on you’ — 20 minutes on that grill is enough to change your life. The body is not equipped to handle negative energy from so many people. What’s that Kanye West line? ‘There’s a thousand yous, there’s only one of me?’ I think about that a lot.”

Josh Eells, Rolling Stone: “I’m not sure that’s what Kanye meant by that lyric.”

John Mayer: “It’s not. But that’s the great thing about lyrics: You can take them how you want.”

Josh Eells, Rolling Stone: “Yeah, but that one is Kanye saying to a girl, ‘How can you refuse to sleep with me, there’s a thousand girls like you but only one Kanye West?'”

John Mayer: “Well, now he has me to thank. Because I just made it deeper.”

Quote of the Day — Paul McCartney Talks to Rolling Stone

“When I write a song, I have my other songs hanging over it. I suppose the minute you write a decent song, that’s a curse. You’re always like, ‘Oh shit, I’ve just written “Eleanor Rigby,” how am I going to top that?’ I think you go, ‘I’m not.’ You just realize you’re not going to top it, but you write “Blackbird.” Paul McCartney, on whether it’s difficult to continue writing good music when he’s already had so much success.

Artie Lange Returns to Radio — But Not With Howard Stern

Artie Lange finally returned to the radio air-waves, but he curiously talked with Nick DiPaolo and not Howard Stern. His choice of venue might make you scratch your head. After all, wouldn’t the great Howard Stern want Artie’s first interview since his suicide attempt? Before you question Artie’s loyalty, you might like to know that Howard Stern won’t let Artie back on the show. How do I know this? — Because it comes straight from the horse’s mouth. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Stern said, “[Artie] said to me recently that he would be willing to come on the air and explain what happened and stuff. I don’t even feel strong enough within myself or that I’d be doing the right thing by him, because I don’t want to do the wrong thing for Artie. I just want Artie to stay alive.” So there you have it. Stern took on a lot of guilt when Artie attempted suicide, so much so that he rarely mentions him on the air. Though his fans have complained, Stern insists that he doesn’t feel right discussing him. That’s probably the right decision.

Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo’s Televised Wedding — Learned Nothing From Jessica Simpson

What’s that saying? — “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” When Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson divorced, Lachey told Rolling Stone that the thought of cameras in his life now fills him “with a homicidal rage,” and he just “wants to push [the cameramen] down the fucking stairs.” That quote was in the context of his marriage ending, and the idea that he partly blamed his MTV show, ‘Newlyweds,’ for its demise. Years later, it appears he’s gotten over it. He and Vanessa Minnillo have decided to televise their wedding for a TLC special, and I can’t help but wonder if Nick Lachey will learn the same lesson twice.

Music Spotlight On: Vampire Weekend

I recently discovered Vampire Weekend, but I’m told by musician friends that “they’re huge.” After looking them up, I seem to be the only person that didn’t get the memo. Their debut self-titled album reached #17 on the Billboard 200, and their song, A-Punk, was voted the fourth best song of 2008 by Rolling Stone magazine. Their second album, Contra, reached #1 on the Billboard 200. The indie rock band formed in 2006, and its members include: Ezra Koenig; Rostam Batmanglij; Chris Thomson; and Chris Baio. Perhaps I like them so much because the lead singer, Ezra Koenig sounds strikingly similar to Paul Simon. I told this to my musician friend, insisting that my discovery means I have a “musical ear.” He shook his head in disapproval saying, “it’s pretty obvious they sound alike.” Listen to White Sky and Holiday from their second album, Contra, below.

Rihanna is Ass-Tastic on the Cover of Rolling Stone

Every so often when I get depressed about the size of my ass, I think of Rihanna, who has done a great job of representing how to look good with only a silver napkin covering her large butt-cheeks. Now if I can just borrow her Rolling Stone air-brusher, and then I’m ready for a new facebook profile picture! In her upcoming interview, Rihanna will discuss sexting and her attraction to bad-boys. Wow, there’s even more to learn than I originally thought! Who needs music talk when you can discuss talking dirty.