THE DISHMASTER

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WITH A SIDE OF DISH

two and a half men Archive

Tuesday

20

September 2011

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COMMENTS

Charlie Sheen Reaches Two and a Half Men Settlement? — No Wonder He’s So Nice

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If you wondered why Charlie Sheen recently changed his tune about Two and a Half Men in support of Ashton Kutcher — your questions are answered.  According to Deadline, Sheen and Warner Bros. are close to reaching a very lucrative settlement on Sheen’s 100 million dollar lawsuit. Though no contracts are signed as of yet, it certainly helps settlement negotiations when one of the parties is openly cooperative. And furthermore, if it’s true that Sheen will pocket a $25 million settlement without putting in any extra hours on set, well then I imagine he’s a happy guy. Sure it’s less than what he would have had if he kept working on the show — but getting $25 million for getting fired is a sweet deal. Oh yeah — he’s also shopping a new series — which also explains his image cleanup tour.

Saturday

14

May 2011

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COMMENTS

Ashton Kutcher Replacing Charlie Sheen on ‘Two and a Half Men’ — Brilliant!

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Of all the names thrown around to replace Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher is by far the best. Though I’m unsure anyone can rescue a show that lost it’s star, Kutcher is certainly worth betting on. First, he’s a social media superstar, which will help people get excited about the transition. And second, he’s a television titan. In recent years, Kutcher has made a valiant attempt at a movie career, which has fallen flat. Some actors just aren’t meant for the movie business, and Kutcher is one of them. He’s a Television star who hit it big on ‘That 70′s Show,’ and something tells me he’ll hit it big again on this one. Plus, he’s getting paid bank, which makes his decision a win-win regardless of the outcome.

Tuesday

19

April 2011

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COMMENTS

Is Charlie Sheen Being Courted to Return to ‘Two and a Half Men’ — I Guess Yes

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Despite everything you read in the press about Charlie Sheen’s Two and a Half Men firing, I’m still 100% convinced CBS wants him back. Though I have no inside information on this one, I know Hollywood — which means I know that it’s ruled by money, and no amount of shenanigans is worth losing hundreds of millions of dollars for. And let’s be clear — Charlie Sheen’s firing will cost CBS that amount of money, because he slaughtered their cash cow. Sure, they could “replace” him, but it will never be the same, and those shows without him will hurt CBS’ syndication money. If I were Les Moonves, I’d take Charlie Sheen back in a second. Yes, he’s crazy. But the combination of Charlie’s 60 million dollar loss, along with CBS’ lost syndication money — makes a perfect match for his return. Crazy or not.

Saturday

12

March 2011

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COMMENTS

John Cryer Makes Fun of Charlie Sheen’s Troll Comment — Funny or Inappropriate?

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Celebrity meltdowns are only funny when it’s about a spoiled brat learning a lesson. But when someone completely loses their mind, it’s no longer funny. The Charlie Sheen debacle was funny for the first five interviews, and then it became sad. So when Charlie Sheen called John Cryer a “troll,” I actually felt sorry for Sheen. He felt betrayed by Cryer, and he lashed out at him in one of his many insane fits. Cryer made fun of the accusation on Conan O’Brien, and I’m pretty sure it was in bad taste. Watch below and judge for yourself.

Monday

7

March 2011

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COMMENTS

Charlie Sheen Fired From Two and a Half Men — a $60 Million Dollar Mistake

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Warner Bros. (the studio that produces Two and a Half Men for CBS) announced the end of Charlie Sheen today, firing him before the remainder of the season. I’m actually shocked by the news, not only because I ‘thought the studio would rather take the personal risk of employing a crazy actor, than the financial risk of killing their cash cow. Having said that, Charlie Sheen’s antics just cost him $60 million dollars, and then some. Because the show was shut down prior to the remainder of the season, that means CBS doesn’t have to pay Charlie Sheen for the eight episodes that went un-produced. Let me break this down in simpler terms to make the point clear. When actors sign television contracts, they get paid per episode, for “all episodes produced.” For example, if Sheen was fired mid-season, and then Stamos was hired to take his place, CBS would have to pay both Stamos AND Sheen, because Sheen’s contract said he gets paid for every episode produced in that season, whether he’s in the episode or not. Unfortunately for Sheen, CBS shut down production entirely, before finishing the last 8 episodes of the season. Translation — if the episodes weren’t made, then Sheen doesn’t get paid. Since Sheen makes 2 million dollars per episode, that means he just lost 16 million dollars. If only he could have contained his crazy for the rest of the season — he might have been able to hold off a predictable future bankruptcy a little longer (has he learned nothing from Nic Cage?). He also could have just acted like a normal human being and stayed on the the show until it ran it’s course. Just to make your jaw drop at his stupidity, just one more season of Two and a Half Men at $2 million per episode would have likely earned him $44 million. That’s a total of $60 million. Sheen’s lawyer is currently arguing that he should be paid for the remaining eight episodes of the current season, even though Warner Bros. never produced them. Good luck, Charlie.

Sunday

6

March 2011

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COMMENTS

Charlie Sheen’s Web-Cast — Just a Boring House-Party

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Have you ever gone to a house party where everyone seems to be having a great time, and you’re looking for the nearest exit?  Such is the case with Charlie Sheen’s web-cast, which looked like the least happening shin-dig imaginable.  The only entertainment involved his overuse of the word “winning,” which never gets old.  Unless Sheen plans on releasing a porn involving his two “goddesses,” I’m not interested in any future broadcasting from his mansion.  As an aside, Charlie Sheen’s antics prove exactly why television networks make actors “exclusive” to the network in their contracts.  Now that Charlie Sheen is free from Two and a Half Men, he can be “funny” in real life.  Great for him, bad for us.  I imagine that if every actor was this legally free to pursue their creative fantasies, you might see some other A-listers going bat-sh#t-crazy.  Watch the “entertainment” below.

Video streaming by Ustream

Thursday

3

March 2011

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COMMENTS

David Spade Says Charlie Sheen’s “Goddesses​” Are Just 7s on the Hotness Scale

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When I watched the interview with Charlie Sheen’s “Goddesses,” I scratched my head with confusion and thought, “those chicks aren’t even hot.”  In fact, Denise Richards blows them out of the water (I’m guessing both figuratively and literally).  Apparently, I’m not the only person to notice.  David Spade recently tweeted, “I think the word Goddess is being thrown around a bit loosely these days. I think the term is ‘a seven.’”  David Spade might also be the right person to judge, especially considering his Hollywood hot-chick resume.  At least he doesn’t have to worry about competing with Charlie Sheen for the same women.  Watch below and judge the ladies for yourself.  You’d think a million dollars an episode could get you better tail.  Too crude?

Monday

28

February 2011

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COMMENTS

Why is the Press Interviewing Charlie Sheen?

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There’s a handful of celebrities I’ve retired from my blog, and Charlie Sheen is about to join the list. He’s currently doing a self-destructive press tour, and the media is thrilled. Why not interview someone when they’re hitting bottom? It makes for good television, right? Though Sheen now denounces AA, I don’t. That means he will have to forgive me for using the standard terms that he currently loathes. Sheen has clearly relapsed, and he’s a sick man. His behavior wouldn’t be so upsetting if it didn’t cause so many people to lose jobs. Because CBS shut down production of Two and a Half Men, many hard-working, under-paid employees are losing their paychecks, which is extremely sad. I feel sad for Charlie and I feel sad for the crew.  That being said, the media needs to stop preying on a man when he’s clearly ill.  Have some moral integrity.

Sunday

14

November 2010

1

COMMENTS

Why is Charlie Sheen Invincible in the Press?

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There’s a lot of theories floating around on entertainment news shows about why Charlie Sheen seems to get away with his bad behavior.  Many people blame CBS, saying that they would never fire Sheen for bad conduct because the television business is all about ratings, and Two and a Half Men is still a big hit on the network.  Though I’d take just about any opportunity to bash network suits, I’m going to make an exception this time around.  Charlie Sheen is still likable because he owns up to his behavior.  He was recently caught doing drugs with a hooker in a hotel room, which didn’t come as a surprise since everyone already knows Charlie Sheen does drugs and sleeps with hookers.  He’s never tried to snow the public by presenting himself as an upstanding, moral family-man.  Look at Oprah, for example.  She’s practically Jesus, and she’s openly admitted to drug use and having sex with a married man.  Mel Gibson and Tiger Woods are unforgiven because they tried to dupe the public into believing they were flawless.  If Tiger presented himself as a womanizer from the very beginning of his golf career, I think he would have ended up just as popular as he ultimately became.  So what’s the moral of the story?  You’re free to snort cocaine off a hooker’s stomach — just own up to it.