The Dishmaster – Page 379

8 Reasons I Love Leonardo DiCaprio

With the success of Inception, I’ve decided to write a post professing my love for Leonardo DiCaprio. In an effort to prove that my love is based on more than looks — I’m going to take the time to substantiate my obsession.

1. He picks directors, not scripts. DiCaprio is known for having great taste in directors. Many actors make the mistake of choosing roles based on the script alone, but not DiCaprio. He knows that film-making is a director’s medium, and it therefore makes sense to choose those at the top of their game. This includes Martin Scorsese, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Danny Boyle, and Christopher Nolan.

2. He stays out of the tabloids. Many actors insist that the paparazzi are unavoidable. If that were true, DiCaprio would make the rounds in Us Weekly, yet you never see pictures of him. He’s managed to maintain a successful career without all the nonsense.

3. His demons are under control. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, DiCaprio confessed that he never engaged in the Los Angeles party scene. “I was never into drugs at all,” he said. “There aren’t stories of me in a pool of my own vomit in a hotel room on the Hollywood Strip.”

4. He survived the child star transition. DiCaprio got his foot in the door on Growing Pains, and he avoided all the quintessential pitfalls of childhood stardom.

5. He’s loyal. He starred with Kate Winslet in Titanic, and judging from her speech at the Golden Globes, they’ve remained great friends ever since. They starred in Revolutionary Road together, which also proves he’s not afraid of the Titanic comparisons.

6. He doesn’t use his personal life to advance his career. Many actors love to walk the red carpet as a “power couple.” Not DiCaprio. Though he’s had high profile romances, he doesn’t talk about them.

7. He’s a great actor. Enough said.

8. He’s great looking. Alright, I’m superficial. But what’s wrong with liking pretty things?

Teen Mom is the Best Reality Show on Television

I often pick on Mtv for destroying my favorite reality show, The Real World, but they’ve filled the void with a show that far surpasses it. Teen Mom is by far the best reality show on television. It’s a spin-off the controversial and successful, 16 and Pregnant, and it follows 5 girls as they struggle to manage teenage life and motherhood. It’s heartbreaking and uplifting, and I’m officially addicted. The show runs a close second in the ratings to Jersey Shore, which is either very different or very similar to Teen Mom — I can’t decide. Watch the trailer below.

Teen Mom (Season 2) – MTV Shows

Today’s Question: How Often Has Barbra Streisand “Retired?”

Musicians often announce their “retirement,” in an effort to gross more money for ticket sales. They can charge higher prices, and naive fans pay the hefty fee thinking it’s the last time they will get to see the artist live. Barbra Streisand is amongst the many culprits. In 2000, she announced her final tour. Ticket prices were ridiculously high, and it reportedly grossed over $70 million. In 2006, perhaps she got sick of laying idle, and announced a “comeback” tour, which grossed close to $100 million. Though she has yet to announce another retirement tour, I imagine that it’s just around the corner. Oh yeah — and so is another comeback tour.

Kendall Jenner in a Bikini — Welcome to the Dark Side

Kendall Jenner has joined her Kardashian sisters in their most coveted activity — posing near naked in a bikini. Yes, she’s beautiful. But she’s only 14 years old, and there’s something about seeing a 14 year old in bikini with a come-fuck-me-face that makes me feel like a pervert. Again, I’m sure I am just a virginal prick, but have we all forgotten the outrage when Britney Spears posed on the cover of Rolling Stone at the age of 15? At the time, I think her parents were accused of being pimps or something. So have we come a long way from our Puritan beginnings, or are we just desensitized debauchees? To see the photo spread (pun intended), click the link below.

Kendall Jenner — The Lost Innocence

My Pick of American Idol Judges

There has been a lot of talk about the next American Idol judges, and most of the suggestions so far seem almost as ridiculous as the current judging panel. So here’s my choice for the new panel — Tommy Mottola, Katy Perry, and Harry Connick Jr. I chose Katy Perry because she has the credentials, and she’s very pretty eye-candy. When she appeared on the show as a guest judge, she was not afraid to speak her mind (speak, not slur), and she often looked like she wanted to kill Kara DioGuardi (which made me very happy). Harry Connick Jr. is my next choice, because he proved himself while serving as a mentor on the show. Unlike other mentors, he didn’t wear sunglasses while offering boring platitudes such as, “feel the music” (hear that Usher?). He also seemed to have a music vocabulary beyond the word “pitchy.” Lastly, I chose Tommy Mottola because he’s like the Wizard. His resume speaks for itself, but he would also bring the controversy. Can you imagine how many interviewers would ask Mariah Carey if she tunes into American Idol to watch Mottola? So there you have it. Everyone should take The Dishmaster’s suggeestion, and stop throwing around ridiculous names.

Christina Aguilera’s ‘Bionic’ — What Went Wrong

Christina’s Aguillera’s comeback album, Bionic, tanked in record sales, and the folks over at RCA think it has something to do with her not-so-relatable image. I would agree. Since entering the industry, Aguilera has always suffered from a major identity crisis. She started as a pop-tart-replica of Britney Spears, and then bashed the comparisons. After she got some footing in the industry, she went the complete opposite route, and released a very “dirty” album, which involved Aguilera’s near naked performances in chaps and mud (and a very entertaining Sarah Michelle Gellar SNL skit making fun of her). On that same album, she also had ballads which showed her vocal prowess but confused listeners. Is she supposed to be a trash-tastic Celine Dion? — I wondered at the time. She then cleaned off her image a bit, and started to insanely over-sing, to the point where she obliterated the melody of every single song. She had something to prove, and in the process, I became incredibly bored with the indulgent need to show-off. Now, years later, she changed course again. The Bionic album is the polar opposite of over-singing. It has a fun, dance vibe, and it’s nice to listen to in the shower. So why did it tank? Is it because other people enjoy the over-signing, and I am the minority? Is it because I’m wrong and the album is bad? Personally, I think it tanked because no one has any idea who Christina Aguilera is anymore, and we are all exhausted. Her identity crisis is responsible for the comparisons to other artists (such as Lady Gaga) — a comparison that she deplores. So here’s my advice — get with some people that can help tailor your image, don’t over-sing, and don’t release angry statements to the press about how you hate being compared to Lady Gaga.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck on Kathy Griffin: “She’s Scum”

The ladies of The View discussed Kathy Griffin’s joke about Scott Brown’s daughters being prostitutes and, true to form, Elizabeth Hasselbeck got her panties in a twist. Aside from the obvious points about how Hasselbeck has no sense of humor, she needs to be more professional. The ladies are supposed to be discussing “hot topics,” not “make-your-head-explode” topics. Hasselbeck’s hatred for Griffin is so intense that she’s practically yelling across the table. If you cannot be an adult, and remain calm while talking about things that bother you, get off the panel. Additionally, in response to the argument in question, Scott Brown invited that joke when he told the press his daughters are single (in his own feeble attempt at a joke). Furthermore, this whole “my children are off-limits” nonsense, refers to direct criticism, such as jabs at Chelsea Clinton’s appearance, or questioning Bristol Palin’s morals. This joke in no way directly attacked them. Oh yeah — did I mention that Hasselbeck needs to lighten up?

Jennifer Aniston is Naked — Gee, What a Shocker

Jennifer Aniston released new ads for her Lolavie fragrance and you guessed it — she’s naked! Must Jennifer Aniston remind the world that she has a great body every chance she gets? It reeks of desperation, it’s unnecessary, and it affirms my other posts about how women in the industry feel the need to overtly sexualize themselves to stay relevant. Just about every magazine cover I see with an actress these days involves nudity, and Jennifer Aniston is the biggest culprit. Remember her GQ cover where she was wearing just a tie? Apparently, the idea for the shoot was spontaneous. Aniston showed up ready to be fully dressed for the cover, and somehow all her clothes came off. Wow, I wonder whose idea that was. Did Meryl Streep ever do this in her hotness prime? Did she show up to shoot a magazine cover and say, “you know what would be really great? Let’s take all my clothes off and just give me suspenders to cover my nipples.”

Did Katy Perry Rip-Off Ke$ha?

Katy Perry’s song, California Gurls, sounds a lot like Ke$ha’s Tik Tok, and there’s a very clear reason for that. Both songs are produced by Dr. Luke and co-written by Benny Blanco. Top artists often use the same producers and song-writers, and overlaps are bound to occur. You might remember this same thing happening with Kelly Clarkson and Beyonce. Unlike Kelly Clarkson; however, Katy Perry gets it, and has yet to release a statement bashing her team. In case you missed the Clarkson tirade that I am referring to, she was pissed because Beyonce’s song, Halo, sounded too much like her single, Already Gone. Both songs were written by OneRepublic’s Ryan Tedder, and instead of understanding the inevitable similarities, Clarkson bashed Tedder in the press, saying that Tedder is responsible for people thinking that she ripped-off Beyonce, and that she wanted to remove the track altogether, but her label would not allow it. Tedder was furious with her tongue lashing, and subsequently said that the idea that he would try to dupe Beyonce and Clarkson into singing the same track is both “hurtful and absurd.” As for Beyonce, she never made a statement on the matter. Listen to the Tick Tok/California Gurls mash-up below.

Jersey Shore Cast Members Tell Mtv to Suck It

The cast of Jersey Shore might not be so dumb after all. They have all decided not to return to Jersey for the second half of Season 2, due to contract squabbles. Here’s what happened. Mtv decided to get pretty crafty and broke up Season 2 into two halves. The cast is arguing that the second half of Season 2 is actually Season 3 in disguise, and they deserve more money. Mtv was initially going to negotiate more money for the second half (being the nice guys that they are over there), but the cast will only negotiate as a group, and they refuse to take different salaries. Mtv wants individual deals, and so it’s war. Mtv basically said that they only agreed to renegotiate the second half out of kindness, so the cast is contractually bound to show up for work. If they don’t, legal gets involved. Isn’t this so much fun? Here’s what I know — Jersey Shore is the best thing that Mtv has had on its network in a very long time. So in the words of Tim Gunn, “make it work.”