Author: The Dishmaster

How many people need to be arrested before someone at VH1 is held accountable for their casting choices?  I realize that Jerry Springer desensitized us long ago, but I can’t remember any murder stories or arrests taking place after his show aired.  First VH1 casts an alleged murderer, and now a Tool Academy cast member is arrested for having sex with a 15-year-old girl.  By the way, I am leaving out a long list of other rap sheets, because I simply don’t have time to post it all.  Here’s the point though: when did VH1 become so morally depraved?  Remember the good old days of Behind the Music?  I’m all for trashy voyeurism, but I draw the line at murderers and pedophiles.   I could not find an applicable picture for this post because what kind of a picture speaks to statutory rape (don’t answer that)?  As a result, I have posted a picture of Rock Hudson and Doris Day, to remind us of our days of innocence.

I know that celebrities are used to being tattled on via social networking sites, and so they feel it’s okay to turn the tables on every-day people.  But this has to stop.  Kristin Chenoweth tweeted about a “rude” Starbucks barista, and the woman was subsequently fired.  First of all, If I got fired from a job every time I had a poor attitude, I would never be employed.  Second, you might have a poor attitude too if you made 7 dollars an hour in a terrible economy.  Third, I know you are very talented and very famous, and the people around you cater to your every whim, but did you ever hear of a bad day?  Let it be known that I’m not trying to pick on Kristin Chenoweth, who I have actually heard is an extremely kind person.  But this should be a message to celebrities everywhere — when we lodge daggers your way, it’s taken with a grain of salt.  When you lodge daggers at baristas — it’s taken seriously.

While watching ‘The City,’ I started to wonder who Olivia Palermo really is, and why she gets such a flattering term attached to her credentials.  On second thought — is the word “socialite” really flattering?  There is a strange thing that happens with the English language.  You take two words that mean the exact same thing, but produce completely different emotions.  To me, “trust fund baby” refers to someone that has done absolutely nothing with their life except live off daddy’s money.  So what is a socialite?  Well, I think a socialite is someone that has done absolutely nothing with their life except live off daddy’s money.  Sound similar?  Palermo’s father is a New England real estate developer, and she grew up on the Upper East Side.  She started to get photographed on the New York social scene around the age of 20, and she made the cover of New York Magazine amidst a website scandal, when socialiterank.com, released a fake letter that was said to be written by Palermo, where she pathetically pleaded for all the New York socialites to accept her.  Palermo’s father hired a top firm and sued the website, and it was subsequently shut down.  She then said, “I may be a young girl.  But behind every young girl is a powerful father.”  So this brings me back to my original question.  Is this really something to be proud of?  Believe it or not, there are a lot of people that are so plagued by their parents success, they spend their entire life trying to top it.  Not “socialites” though.  For some reason they stand tall.  I will at least give Palermo major credit for her style.  She can sure pick out a dress.

When I first read that Mtv is resurrecting Beavis and Butt-head, I kept spontaneously saying “I need TP for my bumhole,” and prayed it had something to do with the cartoon characters.  This series reminds me of my childhood, when I used to tell my brother how immature and dumb he was for watching it.  Thirteen years later, I realize he was the smart one, and I was the humorless bore.  With the end of ‘The Hills,’ Mtv decided that they could use Mike Judge’s children again, which will serve to not only successfully fill the time slot, but also to resurrect music videos on Mtv.  I can’t wait to see what Beavis says about Lady Gaga.  I’m glad Mtv got its act together and found a way to integrate music videos again, because  removing “music television” from the logo simply doesn’t cut it.

Update: See an interview with Mike Judge below, where he talks about missing Beavis & Butt-Head.

I have yet to see the Joaquin Phoenix “mockumentary,” and I am already annoyed.  Am I the only person that doesn’t find this type of thing funny?  If you believe the film to be true, then Casey Affleck chronicled Joaquin Phoenix’s real-life drug melt-down, and then sold it for profit.  If you don’t believe it, then Casey Affleck made light of a very serious issue, which is especially concerning given that Joaquin’s own brother died of a drug overdose.  Forgive me for not having a sense of humor.  I predict that this is indeed an Andy Kaufman style hoax, and that Phoenix went along with it as a favor to Affleck, who is his brother-in-law.  I will say though that I know someone who met Phoenix at a private party during this time, and confirmed to me that he was “completely insane.”  I’m not entirely sure what to make of that information.  Perhaps Phoenix, like Andy Kaufman, stayed in character even during his personal life when Affleck’s cameras were not rolling.  Or perhaps Phoenix is just insane altogether. I don’t have the answer.  All I know is that I’m amongst the up-tight pricks that finds this voyeuristic nonsense disturbing.

The United States 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals in New York, put the kibosh on the FCC today, claiming that it is unconstitutional to restrict “fleeting expletives.”  The court ruled that the FCC regulation violates the First Amendment, because it is unconstitutionally vague, which causes a “chilling effect” on speech.  To summarize, no one has any idea what violates the FCC’s vague rule, so people curb their speech altogether for fear of being fined.  The suit began in 2006 after Congress (under the Bush administration) increased fines for indecency following Janet Jackson’s nipple-gate at the super bowl.   Broadcast networks sued the FCC in retaliation for the fines, the networks won, the FCC appealed, and the court shut the FCC down on appeal today.  This is a big victory for the entertainment industry, because there is constant pressure during live broadcasts to monitor content that networks have no control over.  In honor of the First Amendment, I am attaching this previously posted ‘American Dad’ video, because nothing says free speech like bestiality.

John Stamos is suing a girl for extortion, after she allegedly claimed to have pictures of him doing cocaine. The girl was said to be underage at the time she and Stamos had sex. Because the lawsuit is about extortion and not statutory rape, the only issue at hand is whether she tried to extort money from him, and not whether Stamos had sex with a 17 year old. Huh? Believe it or not, that’s actually not what I’m confused about. Here’s what I don’t understand: if you are John Stamos, and a girl is trying to extort money from you via email over a picture that doesn’t exist, wouldn’t you just hit the spam button on your computer? Don’t celebrities deal these types of crazies on a daily basis? Why draw attention to this by calling the FBI and taking it to court?