Author: The Dishmaster

Hot Jews In the Industry – Why Not?

While I was day dreaming about Robert Downey Jr., I found myself wondering if I could take him home to my mother.  The first question that popped into my head was — is he Jewish?  So I looked it up and it turns out that he is not “technically” Jewish, but he does have a little Jew in him from his father’s side.  Good enough for me (but probably not my mom).  Anyways, my daydreams got me thinking about hot Jews in the industry, so I decided to make a list.  I sadly have to admit that they were hard to find.  Enjoy below!

This news made me very happy.  Harry Connick Jr. can sing to me, and I can take him home to mom.  What a combination!


I don’t think it matters much to Jake Gyllenhaal whether he marries a Jewish girl, given that both Reese Witherspoon and Kirsten Dunst are non-Jews. Perhaps he just has a thing for blonds. If so, I’m out of the running.

Zac Efron just doesn’t do it for me (because I’m not a cradle robber?), but he seems to be very popular with the ladies, so I’ve added him.


I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the next Brad Pitt. With the exception of fasting on Yom Kippur, that is.

Craig Bierko was on two of my favorite shows. He was Ally McBeal’s suitor, and he was also “Jazz Man” on Sex and the City. I recently asked Mr. Bierko on twitter if giving Carrie Bradshaw the “most intense orgasm of her life,” has created unreasonably high expectations from the ladies — no response yet.  (I apologize to the man on the left of this picture, I simply couldn’t find another shot).

I love me a silver fox.  Harrison Ford’s ancestors and my ancestors actually immigrated from the same place in Europe.  Perhaps we’re related.  On second thought — that would make this post kind of creepy.

LeAnn Rimes Wonders Why It’s Wrong to Shove Her Ass in a Child’s Face

LeAnn Rimes continues to amaze me.  Not only did she have an affair with a married man, and only acknowledged the moral quandary when her album dropped, but she now likes to put her ass in the face of little children.  She was recently photographed on the beach kissing her boyfriend, Eddie Cibrian, and his little son was nearly smothered by her ass.  When fans slammed her, she merely said, “since when is kissing your boyfriend a crime?!”  Listen LeAnn, you are perefectly free to kiss your boyfriend, you just shouldn’t do when his child is disturbingly close to your rear end.  My goodness, what happened to the little girl who yodeled on Oprah?  To see the picture in question, click here.
 
Update: LeAnn just quit twitter because, “It’s unhealthy for [her] and [her] family to have to read negative comments from people who’s [sic] opinions have no bearing on [her] life.”

Ringo Starr Wants You to Celebrate His 70th Birthday With “Peace and Love”

It’s Ringo’s birthday today, and he has asked that we all put our fingers in the air, and say “peace and love.”  Many of you might have forgotten where Ringo’s words “peace and love” initially came from.  Though the words sound kind, he actually said it during an online message urging fans to stop writing him.  “Please do not send fan mail to any address that you have, nothing will be signed,” said Ringo.  “I have too much to do, and it will be tossed.”  I often get angry when celebrities take  such foul attitudes, but for some reason I found this to be absolutely hilarious.  And I’m not the only one.  When Paul McCartney was asked by Howard Stern about Ringo’s message, McCartney started laughing and said “that’s just Ringo.  He has always been that way.”  Watch Ringo’s message below.

George Lucas Wants to Zap Laser Company With His Lightsaber

George Lucas will never let you see a real-life lightsaber.  Unless he makes it of course.  Lucas is trying to stop a laser company from producing a laser that closely resembles his famous lightsaber.  He thinks they deliberately modeled it after the Jedi weapon, and Gizmodo, along with many other techie blogs, agree.  Steve Liu, CEO of Wicked Lasers, insists it’s merely a coincidence, but Lucas isn’t having it – he’s already filed a cease and desist order.  Because Wicked has yet to change their laser design, I imagine this will turn into a game of chicken and Lucasfilm will win.  Who in their right mind would go up against a gazillionaire in court?

Blog Daily Roundup

  • Lindsay Lohan gets 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab. Gay Socialites
  • Prince doesn’t believe in the internet. Craw Daddy
  • American Idol tour cancels seven stops. Reality Blurred
  • Eclipse rakes in $200 million at the box office. The Wrap
  • Dave Chappelle deemed a safety risk on private jet. TMZ
  • Javier Bardem will appear on Glee. Playblog
  • James Bond may be dead. Movieline
  • Stephen Dorff is a very good looking man. Dlisted
  • Kelsey Grammer confirms that he called his kids on Father’s Day. Popeater
  • Jessica Simpson has a new boyfriend. The Gossip Girls
  • George Michael is arrested after driving his car into a store.  The Celebrity Truth
  • The women of ‘The Daily Show‘ respond to sexism claims. Salon

Iron Man 2 Finishes Behind Iron Man – The People Have Spoken

Nothing pleases me more than when a bad movie gets its due. Though I love me some Robert Downey Jr., I’m glad to see that the film took a financial hit for being such low quality. There is a painful lesson to be learned from this though; don’t get greedy. ‘Iron Man 2’ was created too soon after the original, possibly as a desperate attempt to cash-in. Christopher Nolan waited a full three years to make ‘The Dark Knight’ after ‘Batman Begins,’ and his patience paid-off. Unlike Nolan, Jon Favreau’s ‘Iron Man’ sequel had a much quicker turn-around, perhaps because he was pressured by the studio to get it out quickly. To be fair, ‘Iron Man 2’ will make about $308 million domestically, which sounds pretty good. But grossing less than the original is a bad sign. Favreau will hopefully make some changes for the third installment.

The Bachelor Special: Vienna Wins the Night

I watched the Bachelor special last night, and it was just as good as promised.  I’m now more convinced than ever that the show is real, and that Jake and Vienna were actually in a relationship.  Why?  Because nothing says relationship like an “undermined” man and an “emotionally abused” woman.  I expected a lot of bickering, but I did not expect to side so strongly with Vienna.  Chris Harrison, being the terrible host and she-hater that he is, completely glossed some revealing gems about what a douche Jake is.  For example, he flew Vienna’s dog in from Florida, only to fly the dog back because he wasn’t properly potty trained.  If my boyfriend chucked my dog, I’d chuck my boyfriend.  Jake also yelled at Vienna numerous times for “interrupting” him, presumably because he can’t engage in a conversation, and instead prefers to wax on in monologue form.  He also revealed that he never slept with Vienna past month one of their relationship, because what man would want to sleep with a woman that treats him the way she does?  Um – I hate to break the news to Jake, but I think any man on the planet would want to sleep with a woman under any circumstances.  Nice try, though.  By the way, have we all forgotten that Jake is the same guy that cried over a balcony on Jillian Harris’ season of ‘The Bachelorette’?  We should have known then.  If you want to watch the special, I’ve attached it below.  Feel free to scroll through it at your fancy.  Also, click the link to read another great article summing up last night’s episode.

Reality Blurred: Jake & Vienna

Top Quotes: The Celebrity Scorned Lover

There’s nothing like a good old fashioned dig from a scorned lover.  In honor of July 4th weekend, I have compiled a list of some personal favorites.  Grab some popcorn and enjoy!

Laura Dern on Billy Bob Thornton leaving her for Angelina Jolie:

“I left our home to go and make a movie, and while I was away my boyfriend got married, and I never heard from him again.”

Nicole Kidman on her divorce from Tom Cruise:

“Now I can wear high heels.”

Brittany Murphy on Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (R.I.P. Brit):

“I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn’t matter and to her that size doesn’t matter.”

Jennifer Aniston on Brad Pitt’s W Magazine photo-shoot with Angelina Jolie

“There’s a sensitivity chip that’s missing.”

Dennis Quaid on Meg Ryan’s affair with Russell Crowe:

“I think Russell did Meg and I a favor.”

Michael Douglas on ex-wife Diandra Douglas’ parenting skills:

She was a “young mother without any parenting skills handed down from her parents.”

Emma Thompson on the prospect of having a baby with her then husband Kenneth Branagh (who supposedly left Thompson for Helena Bonham Carter)

“Ken is so tired, his sperm are on crutches.”

Tate Donovan on why he and  Jennifer Aniston broke up:

“She likes top-notch hotels and luxury, and I like bed and breakfasts and riding my bike.”

Keifer Sutherland on his best friend, Jason Patric, never confessing his love for Sutherland’s then fiance, Julia Roberts (who left Sutherland three days before the wedding and went to Europe with Patric).

‘I’m surprised that I never got a call from him saying I’ve fallen in love da-da-da. Instead, I found out from a stranger.’

Jason Patric on his breakup with Julia Roberts

“I knew (dating her) would be trouble.  But I think sometimes people walk into their own nightmare maybe not so consciously.  This was a person who very much put herself in the public eye, and the public life. I think everyone has a right to privacy, but once you use your personal life to advance your fame, you really don’t have the right to say no to (the press).”

Where Did All the Good Movies Go?

Ever since Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch, there has been a lot of talk about how he “fell from grace.”  It’s possible that he’s responsible for his own demise, but what of all the other A-list actors that haven’t had hits in years?  What about Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Jim Carrey, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robin Williams, Denzel Washington, and Eddie Murphy?  Did all these guys jump on Oprah’s couch?  It’s not as if younger actors are taking the place of these Hollywood veterans.  Who’s the new action star that replaced Bruce Willis?  And what comedic actor is the new Jim Carrey?  So what’s the answer?  The painful truth is that Hollywood just isn’t making good movies anymore.  The days of risk-taking and creativity are over.  We have entered an era of butchering our coveted classics with painful remakes, and extending a franchise way beyond its welcome.  Why?  Because it’s easy and cheap.  It simply does not cost the studio as much money to promote a remake.  We all know what ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ is about, so the title alone is enough – no need to see the trailer more than once.  It’s less of a risk, because the nostalgia will automatically bring people to the theater.  It also only requires two brain cells to come up with a remake, so pure laziness is another possible factor.  I understand that we are all a bunch of hypocrites that speak with out wallets (given that these movies all make money), but when there is no competition, our love for the theater means we’ll go no matter what – with or without quality.  So the next time you start your A-list actor bashing, ask yourself whose fault their slump is – the studio or the actor.

Janet Jackson Performs at the Essence Music Festival – Without Pants

Here we go again.  There are a lot of different ways to design a stage-worthy costume, and apparently they all involve not wearing pants.  Lady Gaga started this trend, and every other female singer in the industry feels the need to copy it.  Those include Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Christina Aguilera, and the list goes on and on.  Just because one person becomes known for doing something, doesn’t mean you have to do it too.  The reason Gaga is successful, is because she is unique, so by taking her ideas on as your own, you’re merely a copy-cat.  I suppose I’m so annoyed because Janet Jackson recently performed on American Idol wearing a black jumpsuit, and I remember thinking that she looked the best I’ve ever seen her.  I thought: leave it to Janet to have an individual style, and stand-out without all the bells and whistles.  So when she showed up a the Essence Music Festival looking like everyone else, it seriously bummed me out.