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Olympian Ryan Lochte Talks to Women’s Health Magazine — What’s His Type of Woman?

1207-ryan-lochte — Photograph By Peter Yang

Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte is the new it-guy of swimming. And in case you’d like to add him to your fantasy-man list, read some choice quotes from his interview with Women’s Health Magazine. To read the full interview, click here.

When you see a woman you want to meet, you …
“Make eye contact. Some guys keep staring, but I’ll give a wink and come back later, because it keeps her thinking.”

What confuses you about the opposite sex?
“It’s impossible to know what you’re thinking. If I could have one superpower, I’d be like Mel Gibson in What Women Want, where he reads women’s minds.”

What do women look hottest in?
“One of my long-sleeve button-down shirts and that’s all. The second hottest thing: white jeans.”

Tiffani Amber Thiessen Address Jennie Garth Feud on Howard Stern

Who would have thought that Tiffani Amber Thiessen would make a great Howard Stern interview? The juiciest part of her Stern sit-down involved his Jennie-Garth-feud questions. Though she wouldn’t divulge much, she did give some substantial clues about what went wrong, saying “I was the one who was hurt.” When Stern asked his sidekick, Robin Quivers, for a translation of Tiffani’s cryptic response, Thiessen confirmed Robin’s suspicion that Garth wasn’t there for her in her time of need. Thiessen also said that the female members of the 90210 cast weren’t nice to her when she join the show, and it’s “ironic that her friendship with Garth ended just the way it began.” Ouch!

The Bachelorette — Emily & Jef’s Deleted Scene

Sometimes it’s the small things that properly illustrate a couple’s love. Watch below to see Emily and Jef role play a job interview with his company. Now I understand what Jef meant when he said he wished they showed more of her funny side.

Quote of the Day — Russell Brand on Chic-Fil-A

“[It’s] a racist chicken dispensary.” Russell Brand on Chic-Fil-A, at the Television Critics Association summer press tour. He later clarified his statements, saying, “Didn’t Chick-Fil-A say that they’re racist now? Or homophobic? I get mixed up with the prejudices.” As an aside, his FX talk show got renewed for 7 additional episodes. Good work, Russell.

Randy Jackson Will Return to American Idol — But Not As a Judge?

When I saw the clip below of Randy Jackson’s evasive-sounding “yes” in response to whether he’d return to American Idol, it became immediately clear what’s between the lines. My guess? “Yes” he will return, but it won’t be as a judge. It will be as a behind the scenes mentor. Watch below.

Kristen Stewart Wore Robert Pattinson’s Hat While Cheating — OMFG!

Of all the details surrounding Kristen Stewart’s unfaithful escapades, the biggest affront of all has yet to be highlighted with the attention it deserves. So here goes: Kristen Stewart wore Robert Pattinson’s hat while she cheated on him. I know Rupert Sanders had a wife and children, and that surely made the list, but cheating always makes me ask the inevitable Dishmaster question: Are you or are you not a sociopath? Would Kristen Stewart have confessed her infidelity had the tabloids not caught her? Would she have continued her relationship, pretending as if nothing was wrong? And how much of Robert Pattinson’s reality did she destroy? But of all those hard-hitting questions, the biggest one still remains: When she walked over to her closet to find an incognito uniform to evade the paparazzi, how could she grab her boyfriend’s hat and live with herself?

Green Day’s Billy Joe Joins ‘The Voice’ as a Mentor With Christina Aguilera

I will try my hardest not to judge Green Day frontman Billy Joe for joining ‘The Voice.’ It’s a popular show, he’s a popular guy, and he has to stay popular — because he has an album coming out. That being said, my vitriolic hatred for Christina Aguilera and my talent show fatigue makes this revelation difficult. Watch their interview below, and by “their,” I mean hers, considering he barely got a word in.

Snow Patrol Performs “Open Your Eyes” at Hyde Park

Remember when you were considered a musically adept insider for loving Snow Patrol? Well they sure have come a long way since their underground-artist days. Watch them perform “Open Your Eyes” at the Hyde Park Olympic Celebration. It’s got that epic slow climb that the band is famous for.

Dane Cook Apologizes for Dark Knight Joke

I get it. Stand up comedy is based on taking hot-button, touchy subjects and risking a backlash by twisting it into something funny. If you don’t take risks, then you’re not a comedian. That being said, Dane Cook’s joke was terrible. Yes it’s too soon to joke about such a colossal tragedy, but it also wasn’t funny — and that’s the key. In short, Cook basically suggested that the film was so bad, the audience was probably thinking they wanted to be shot. I’m paraphrasing horribly — but trust me — my summary is just as funny as the original phrasing. Cook got the message, and quickly said, “I am devastated by the recent tragedy in Colorado & did not mean to make light of what happened. I made a bad judgment call with my material last night & regret making a joke at such a sensitive time. My heart goes out to all of the families & friends of the victims.” I won’t be too hard on the guy because the public has already given him their fair share of tongue-lashings and I’m sure he learned his lesson. But I wouldn’t be The Dishmaster if I didn’t make my point.

Arrested Development Returns! Photo-Proof!

After the many years of turmoil surrounding the return of the public’s most loved underrated show in history, Arrested Development is back — and Jason Bateman gave us the photographic proof via his twitter account. Below you’ll see a pic of Michael Cera on set, with the Bateman caption, “My son, arriving yesterday.” HOORAY!