I am The Dishmaster. I launched this blog in May of 2010 to provide my personal take on Hollywood from an insider’s perspective. Unlike other blogs, I don’t post pictures taken by paparazzi. All photos are taken at red carpet events, which is a standard that I hope others will soon follow. I also try to feature unknown talent, because Hollywood no longer does its job in finding newcomers, or in featuring independent movies that don’t gain traction in the media. I hope to provide a positive alternative to the internet bullying that I see elsewhere. That being said, you will often see me call-out celebrities on their bad behavior. However, that doesn’t include circling their cellulite with a white pen.
Clifford Vaida — Features Editor
There have been many influential people in my life, but there is no one more influential than Clifford Vaida. He taught me both english and humanities in high school, and his tutoring rescued me from a very low philosophy grade in college. Though failing philosophy is an embarrassing enough reason to hire someone with Vaida’s skills, I smartly used our tutoring time to con him into a friendship. And my brilliant plan worked. We’ve been friends for over ten years, and aside from calling him with much needed life advice, I also commission his unprecedented grammar skills to edit my interviews, because what kind of “online journalist” would I be if I misplaced my commas? Too bad I can’t use the “bad education” excuse to justify my grammar faux paus. In fact, his edits are often accompanied with a painful yet hilarious note about how I should know better, considering he taught me those rules in high school. A major thank you to Clifford Vaida for his unconditional support and his ninja editing skills.
Update: I called Clifford Vaida to see what he thought of this insanely awesome bio and true to form — he critiqued it. “It’s not funny,” he said. “The other ones are funnier.” I then remembered all the many times he critiqued my papers in high school, and I quickly developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But since I’m no longer in his class, and I’m THE DISHMASTER, I’ve decided to keep this bio in it’s entirety. Who’s the boss now, Vaida?!
Theresa Tenor — Copy Editor
Theresa Tenor has been a close personal friend for many years. We met at a very stuffy law firm, and our friendship mostly consisted of Theresa coaching me on how to send out certified mail (yes, this is an embarrassing admission). Her extremely calm disposition also helps to talk me off the ledge when necessary, which includes the many moments she talked me out of quitting this blog to pursue other less fulfilling dreams. She has a meticulous editing eye, coupled with very invited words of encouragement meant to inflate my ego. Here’s how our conversations usually go. “Hi, Dishmaster. I noticed that you spelled ‘the’ wrong. But just remember that your blog is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.” Alright — she calls me by my actual name, but here’s hoping the blog will eventually become popular enough to warrant the entire world calling me “The Dishmaster.” A major thank you to Theresa for her smarts and her support.
Rik Sault — Contributing Editor
Rik Sault is not only a tremendous professional help, he’s also a good friend. I asked him to submit a bio for my site, and his response was pretty boring. I then asked for 20 things I don’t already know about him, and I laughed so hard I had to post it instead. After all, who really cares about that whole top-of-his-class lawyer thing? I’ve posted some of his life-factoids below, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
- He can’t ride a bike.
- He once worked at liquor store, and his liquor expenditures exceeded his salary.
- During an internship at the District Attorney’s office, a girl he was sleeping with was in the jury pool. He waived at her during trial, which didn’t bode well for his boss.
- He has a crush on Mary Kate Olsen
- He as an unhealthy obsession with argyle.
- A nemesis that beat his very high SAT score is now a coffee barista. This makes Rik happy.
- He rejected a married woman after watching Unfaithful, fearing that he’d suffer the same fate as Olivier Martinez’s character.
And there you have it. I’d like to give Rik a major thank you for not only making me laugh, but for the many years of emotional support. The Dishmaster gives you a huge electronic hug.
Steve Aho — Music Consultant
Steve Aho has a very detailed music biography, which includes such mundane items as having played with Stevie Nicks, John Williams, and Graham Nash. But who needs that talented musician stuff when you have the little gems of personal information I’ve provided below. It sure is fun to learn new things about your friends, especially when they don’t take themselves too seriously.
- He was the only white guy in a Japanese taiko drum group. His Finnish last name translates to “stupid” in Japanese.
- He played in the University of Michigan marching band but didn’t know anything about football. He was therefore always confused about what the band had to play when the football team made big plays (Michigan won the championship that year).
- He wrote and performed a classical percussion solo piece under the pseudonym “Sum Gigh” that involved playing on pots & pans with wooden spoons and a carrot, which he later ate. The piece not only won him the state instrumental solo contest, but it also scored him a hot flute player in the audience.
- He once performed at a Ft. Lauderdale rock club where a girls-gone-wild wannabe tried to give him a lap dance while playing Violent Femmes’ ‘Blister in the Sun.’ This made it difficult to play drums.
- He fell in love with his best friend’s cymbal because “it sounds amazing.” His friend later gifted it to him with a big, red bow attached. He and the cymbal lived happily ever after.
My thanks to Mr. Aho for lending me his coveted musical ear at all hours of the day despite his busy schedule. The music section of my blog could not survive without him.
Kris Arnold — Creative Consultant
Kris Arnold is a very attractive man — and he knows it. I met him about seven years ago, and we’ve been friends ever since (with the exception of about 6 years where we didn’t keep in touch). I asked him to contribute to my blog because . . . well . . . who doesn’t want an excuse to call an excessively hot man with an enticing chin dimple? Seriously though — the guy has been a huge help. Plus, he’s an actor by day, which gives him an interesting perspective for my content. Thanks to Kris for lending a hand, and for also taking my endless phone calls, which largely involve my pointless Dishmaster-related inquiries, followed by Kris taking my ego down a peg with his quick-wit.