Elton John’s publicist, Gary Farrow, told Deadline that John has no plans to be a judge on American Idol, and “there’s more of a chance of [him] fucking you, then Elton being on the U.S. Idol.” First of all, I thought publicists were supposed to class-up artists, so that artists don’t have to worry about putting their foot in their mouths. I wasn’t aware they get to be the expletive-laden mouthpieces of celebrities. Next time, maybe Farrow will say, “hey everyone, stop annoying the fuck out of me and just shut the fuck up.” Oh wait — that’s my fantasy statement. Nevermind.