Arnold Schwarzenegger is a very funny man, which is a fact that many people don’t know. Dax Shepard actually inspired this post, when he revealed to Howard Stern that Tom Arnold invited him to hang out with Schwarzenegger. When Schwarzenegger told Shepard how much he loved his movies, Shepard was flattered. That is, until Tom Arnold later confessed that after Shepard left the table, Schwarzenegger said, “who the hell is that?” Leave it to Schwarzenegger to inflate the ego of a man he’s never heard of. And now for the hilarious quote list. Picture his accent while you read — it definitely adds to the entertainment value.
Arnold’s tweet on Sarah Palin (while flying over Alaska)
“[I am] looking everywhere but can’t see Russia.”
Arnold on pumping iron (said during his film, Pumping Iron)
It’s as satisfying to me as, uh, cumming is, you know? As, ah, having sex with a woman and cumming. And so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like, uh, getting the feeling of cumming in a gym, I’m getting the feeling of cumming at home, I’m getting the feeling of cumming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it’s terrific.
“Marijuana is not a drug, it’s a leaf”
On his decision to run for Governor
“It was the most difficult decision in my life – except the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.”
After being pelted with an egg at a political rally
“This guy owes me bacon now . . . you can’t have egg without bacon.”
On his money
“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”
On his height
“I’m 6’2″. I’ve heard rumors that I’m really much shorter in real life – like 5’6″ or something like that – which is ridiculous. I can assure you this is not the case. People look up to me, and not just because I do a lot of work in the community. I mean, most people really look up to me.”
On running for Governor
“There’s a lot of people who want me to get out of acting and want me to run for governor. I think it’s mostly movie critics.”