Matt Damon told a very touching story about meeting his wife, saying that he didn’t feel like going to a local bar in Miami while shooting Stuck on You, but it was worth it because his wife was his bartender that night, and they currently live happily ever after. He said the moral of the story is that “when you’re tired, suck it up and go to the bar because you might meet your wife.” I’d like to note that I too had a crush on a bartender once, only it didn’t end so happily. I distinctly remember showing up at his bar under the mistaken impression that he’d ask me out, only to discover him flirting with another girl the entire night. Apparently, I severely miscalculated the connection. My friend and I laughed the entire ride home at the humiliation. After all, if you can’t laugh at yourself — who will? Perhaps Matt Damon’s advice only applies to female bartenders? If that’s the case, I’ll have a lot of explaining to do to my parents. Maybe I’ll have better luck on the other team.