The Dish – Tabloid Review

David Boreanaz’s admitted to cheating on his wife while she was pregnant, in an attempt to diffuse the upcoming mistress press conference.  Boreanaz needs to call Charlie Sheen and ask him for advice on how to fuck women that don’t talk to the press. 

Halle Berry’s ex-boyfriend, Gabriel Aubry is pissed off that the press is labeling him a dead-beat loser, and he blames Halle’s camp for the story.  Since she has yet to defend him, I think he’s probably right.  It’s a good thing that Halle Berry stars in such fantastic movies, otherwise it would be pretty ridiculous to point fingers at Aubry’s stalled career.  Right?

Bret Michaels was released from the hospital and is expected to make a full recovery.  I’m not only thrilled for his family, but I’m also thrilled that Donald Trump will stop playing doctor with the press.

Lindsay Lohan is facing jail time for violating probation.  As a sidenote, Lohan is looking a lot like Britney Spears during Spears’ downward spiral.  Let’s hope she can get it together like Spears did before it’s too late.  There is a big difference though.  Spears’ parents never justified her behavior the way Dina Lohan does.  Instead, they told the press they were trying to help her.

David Letterman’s extortionist is going to prison.  I just realized that Letterman’s mistresses didn’t hold a press conference either.  Perhaps that is because Letterman didn’t fuck fame mongering whores. 

Rachel Uchitel lands my title as star-fucking home-wrecker of the year.  That’s just my opinion though.  After all, you can’t break up a marriage that isn’t already broken right?  Either that – or when you jump on a guy’s penis he just might have sex with you. 


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