Mark Wahlberg has always been on my favorite person list, mostly because his humorless bravado is just an act — he’s hysterical. In a recent interview, he revealed that he kept the fake, 13 inch penis from Boogie Nights as a souvenir, and he used to keep it in his office drawer, so that he could randomly whip it out and slap his friends in the face with it. Why? Because nothing says friendship like a good penis slapping. As a sidenote, he’s given me a great idea about how to keep my cube-life interesting. I hear “promotion” any day now.