I read a scathing review of this week’s Glee on TV.com and halfway through the review the writer disclosed that he hates the show. That brings me to my new rule about television critics: if you were never a fan of the show to begin wtih, then you don’t get the privilege of bashing it. Why? Because no matter what they do you won’t like it, which means you’re just a biased prick that likes to arbitrarily bash television shows for sport. It’s okay if it’s not your cup of tea. It’s not okay if you spend two pages of a review explaining why you hate the show, when it was never meant to appeal to you. In case you’re wondering, I did not come up with this brilliant theory on my own. I’ve spent many hours of my life watching television interviews (in training to become the next Barbara Walters), and Mariah Carey brought this up years ago while promoting one of her albums. She was asked if critics bother her, and she said that they only bother her if they are fans of her music, but didn’t like a particular album. She said there is one specific critic that has never been a fan, so no matter what she does he won’t enjoy it, which means it’s pretty senseless to take his critique seriously. And there you have it. Thanks to Mariah for the idea, and thanks to myself for expressing it in a genius way. Alright — my next post will be self-deprecating — I promise.