Let me begin this post by admitting my bias. I hate weed. I’ve hated since I became fully aware of the drug, and I’d go into further detail, but absolutely no one wants that. It also bears mentioning that in the early days of my blog, I received support from Kristen Bell via twitter, and I’m nothing if not loyal. So here goes.
Not too long ago in Los Angeles I saw Kristen Bell on a panel promoting ‘The Good Place,’ and I distinctly remember a weed joke. At the time, my first thought went to Dax Shepard, who is honest about his sobriety. “Should she be smoke weed when her husband is sober?” I thought. In fact, when a close friend (who is sober) of mine married a woman who enjoys wine with dinner, I too objected. Because in addition to being loyal, I’m also judgmental, and that is NOT a fun combination. What ensued was a heated argument with the accusation that I was insulting his wife, at which point I declared concern for his well-being instead. When he furthered that it’s his life and I am not his sobriety manager — it did not go well.
While on ‘The View,’ Bell said, “If you’re not using your critical thinking skills and you can’t give me the benefit of the doubt in a situation and you just come at me, I don’t have time for that, I just don’t. I respond to positive things.” Furthermore, Dax likened it to “asking a diabetic spouse [not to] ever eat sugar in front of me.” For starters, I don’t think that’s analogous. First and foremost, weed is NOT legal. It might be “legal” on the state level, but it is NOT legal on the federal level, which means it is not legal (see the Supremacy Clause). Second, Shepard’s analogy does not hold weight. Diabetics are not addicted to sugar. It’s a privilege that now needs to be managed, and while it’s a bummer to have it regulated, it is not an addiction. However, if a diabetic was in fact struggling to limit their intake, I’d suggest a lifestyle change in the home, which would involve a team effort. Third, while Dax Shepard might be OKAY with Kristen Bell smoking in front of him, that doesn’t mean it’s positive for his psyche. I’ve been in relationships with alcoholics, and I’ve always stopped my consumption as a result. This is not because I’m a better person, it’s simply because it feels personally cruel to engage in an activity of which my partner cannot. We are a team. We are in it together, and as a member of that team, I will forgo something that was never too important to me anyhow.
As a personal exercise I thought, “What if my husband had a deadly cheese allergy? Would I eat it anyhow?” After all, I might not care about alcohol but I certainly care about cheese. I’ve got no good answer for that one. Perhaps I’m loyal, judgmental AND a hypocrite.