I don’t want to gloat about being correct about this, but, as predicted, two skaters were injured on the new ABC show, Skating With the Stars. Brandon Michal Smith was hospitalized for breathing problems, and Brooke Castille sliced her finger open. And before a bunch of assholes tell me the show is cursed, I’d like to refer you to my previous post about how it’s not a “curse” if the problem resulted from some network idiots making poor decisions. Here’s an idea for a new show: take a bunch of fat people and force them to go rock climbing on one of the highest mountains in the world. Doesn’t that sound fantastic!? The more life-threatening the task — the better!
I often like to take credit for being able to predict a show’s success. Why? Because I’m an ego-maniac, of course, and I will take any opportunity to pat myself on the back. When I saw the first promos for Dancing With the Stars a million years ago, I was sure it would be a massive hit. That being said, Skating With the Stars is a terrible idea. Everyone relates to dancing, whether or not they danced professionally. Even Snooki can fist pump to a beat (yes, I consider fist-pumping a form of dance). But needless to say, not everyone can related to ice-skating, and this idea failed in the past. Remember Skating With Celebrities? Oh right — you don’t remember it because no one watched the show. Plus, there are already injuries on Dancing With the Stars — so add some ice — and I imagine there will be an ambulance or two.