For those of you who love Jersey Shore, today signifies the beginning of the end of the world’s greatest reality show in the history of television. Whenever television executives hit the jackpot, they milk it to the point of exhaustion. Such is the case with Jersey Shore, as MTV has officially picked up two spin-offs of the popular show, one following Snooki and JWoww’s post-shore antics, and the other following Pauly D on the road as a DJ. While I’m certain those spin-offs will have traction, I’m also certain it will devalue the original series, and will inevitably hurt its ratings. When you have a treasure on your hands, you don’t break it down and sell it’s parts — you protect it. How about MTV come up with another original idea, instead of recycling an existing one?
MTV’s The Real World has been deteriorating for years, and I often wonder if my new hatred for the show has to do with my age. Perhaps I’m outside their target demographic, and I no longer find drunken fighting endearing? But just before I sink into a self-loathing depression, I remind myself that I love Jersey Shore! After all, nothing pleased me more than watching Snooki roll around on the floor in over-sized slippers while trying to punch Angelina in the face. When Jersey Shore became popular, the cast of The Real World tweeted angry statements about how they weren’t invited to an MTV awards show and the Jersey Shore crew was. Gee, I wonder why they weren’t invited? There’s a simple answer here. The cast of The Real World has sucked since Las Vegas, and no one wants to watch a bunch of soul-less neanderthals clean their toilet with their roommate’s toothbrush. And I’m not the only person to think this. The ratings have been steadily declining, and yet MTV is sticking with their ludicrous casting formula. So good luck, Real World. Your tired franchise can only last so long.
I often like to take credit for being able to predict a show’s success. Why? Because I’m an ego-maniac, of course, and I will take any opportunity to pat myself on the back. When I saw the first promos for Dancing With the Stars a million years ago, I was sure it would be a massive hit. That being said, Skating With the Stars is a terrible idea. Everyone relates to dancing, whether or not they danced professionally. Even Snooki can fist pump to a beat (yes, I consider fist-pumping a form of dance). But needless to say, not everyone can related to ice-skating, and this idea failed in the past. Remember Skating With Celebrities? Oh right — you don’t remember it because no one watched the show. Plus, there are already injuries on Dancing With the Stars — so add some ice — and I imagine there will be an ambulance or two.