Attention Hollywood — Stop Making Shows About Twitter

Sure twitter is interesting when it’s three in the morning and I’m suffering from insomnia.  But when I exit cube-dom at the end of the day and turn on my television, I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than watch a show about Twitter.  The new concept is called Shh, Don’t Tell Steve, and it’s based on the somewhat entertaining tweets of a man about the ridiculous happenings of his roommate. Can’t the Hollywood creanderthals think of anything more interesting?  I realize that a person’s twitter page might be interesting, but then scoop up the tweeter as a writer, instead of actually making a show about the tweets itself.  What’s the next step?  A show about what it’s like to be a Starbucks barista, inspired by a creanderthal’s morning coffee run?  Oh that’s right — they don’t get their own coffee.

Britney Spears Beats Ashton Kutcher in Twitter Followers

I can’t decide if this news makes me happy or sad. On the one hand, I’m so in love with Britney Spears that I often find myself dancing in front of my mirror with a fake snake around my shoulders singing “I’m a Slave for You.” On the other hand, Ashton is the King of Twitter. He practically launched the social medium, and I hate to see a king lose his crown. I’ve therefore decided that Ashton and Britney are officially the King AND Queen of Twitter, and they need to have a cup of coffee to discuss what appearances they will make with these titles. Oh to be a fly on the wall during an Ashton/Britney conversation.

Jim Carrey’s "People" Tell him to Lay off the Angry Tweets

Jim Carrey has been getting a lot of criticism lately since defending Tiger Woods on Twitter.  To be fair, he didn’t exactly defend Tiger, as much as he kicked Elin in the gut.  Too harsh?  Of Elin, he said “no wife if blind enough to miss that much infidelity.”  He later tried to save face, by tweeting that he doesn’t condone infidelity, though both parties share some degree of responsibility.  In addition to the outrage about the content of his posts, some of Carrey’s followers are concerned with how late he stays up at night, fearing he may be having a breakdown since his breakup with Jenny McCarthy.   All I have to say about this nonsense is that Twitter is the beginning of the end of Hollywood.  Celebrities are supposed to be these untouchable entities that leave us always wondering what they’re really thinking.  We aren’t supposed to find out that what they are actually thinking is a bunch of nonsensical bull shit.