Johny Depp’s attorney, Laura Wasser, is a genius. Though I can’t verify she’s solely responsible for Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s joint divorce statement, I can say that as a lawyer myself, it’s borderline poetic. TMZ reported that Heard and Depp’s settlement was held up by their joint statement, as Heard wanted Depp to admit his alleged abuse. Depp refused, and they instead both decided on the statement below, which says, “Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain.” Confused? Well, their accusations are contradictory, so it’s impossible for “neither party to make a false statement.” Someone is lying, but based on their jigsaw puzzle of word play, we will never know who it is.
“Our relationship was intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love. Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain. There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm. Amber wishes the best for Johnny in the future. Amber will be donating financial proceeds from the divorce to a charity.”
They settled on $7 million, which is also interesting, since Heard says it will be donated. It’s doubtful that will dent Depp’s wallet in any capacity, but it sure is a high settlement for such a short marriage. But to quote William Cosgrove, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,”