Johnny Depp & Amber Heard Release Divorce Statement

Johny Depp’s attorney, Laura Wasser, is a genius. Though I can’t verify she’s solely responsible for Amber Heard and Johnny Depp’s joint divorce statement, I can say that as a lawyer myself, it’s borderline poetic. TMZ reported that Heard and Depp’s settlement was held up by their joint statement, as Heard wanted Depp to admit his alleged abuse. Depp refused, and they instead both decided on the statement below, which says, “Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain.” Confused? Well, their accusations are contradictory, so it’s impossible for “neither party to make a false statement.” Someone is lying, but based on their jigsaw puzzle of word play, we will never know who it is.

“Our relationship was intensely passionate and at times volatile, but always bound by love. Neither party has made false accusations for financial gain. There was never any intent of physical or emotional harm. Amber wishes the best for Johnny in the future. Amber will be donating financial proceeds from the divorce to a charity.”

They settled on $7 million, which is also interesting, since Heard says it will be donated. It’s doubtful that will dent Depp’s wallet in any capacity, but it sure is a high settlement for such a short marriage. But to quote William Cosgrove, “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,”

Amber Heard v. Johnny Depp: The War Rages On

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As a lawyer, I often hold all opinions about one’s guilt until all the evidence is presented, and that is because our judicial system is founded on the principle of “innocent until proven guilty.” Though fallible, I think no citizen, if given the opportunity, would change that presumption to “guilty until proven innocent.”

When Amber Heard accused Johnny Depp of domestic violence, many found it hard to believe, and some suggested that she was “victim-shamed” as a result. Domestic abuse is serious, and a false accusation is also serious. Despite leaking disturbing details about “fearing for her life,” Heard has made it clear that she has no plans to press charges, and there is no police report to corroborate any of her claims. Though character witnesses have come forward on both sides, there is not, to my knowledge, anyone who has come forward as a personal witness of Depp laying hands on Heard. The individual that called the police during a fight between Depp and Heard released an article for Refinery29, which I carefully read, and it does not indicate any first-hand witness of abuse. It is packed with hearsay. Yes, she personally saw Heard’s bruises, but she did not personally witness Depp lay a hand on Heard, which makes that article more about character than evidence. Depp’s friend also spoke out, vouching for Depp’s character, and stupidly claimed to “know” Heard is lying. He found out the hard way that when you use the word “know” instead of “think” you subject yourself to defamation, because he is now being sued by Heard.

If Amber Heard has no plans to press charges against Johnny Depp for domestic abuse, then what’s her agenda? Is it to help other victims of domestic abuse? If that’s the case, then why spend so much time leaking evidence to prove these disturbing events actually happened. Why not personally visit other victims instead? If these claims are true, I feel for Heard. I know that victims often remain quiet, and I can only imagine that the celebrity landscape makes it ever-the-more daunting to declare the truth. I also know that she filed a restraining order against Depp, and certain details will inevitably be revealed as a result. But every time I open my web browser I see more leaks. I do not believe in trying someone in the court of public opinion, and assuming one’s innocence is not “victim-shaming,” it’s the way it works. There is absolutely no choice but to call a victim’s character into question when an accusation of this magnitude is afloat. It sucks, but again – ask yourself if you’d rather our system presume guilt. This should be a criminal matter, not a social media one.

Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard: Mudslinging Starts

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As a general rule for celebrities everywhere, do not publicly declare your love for your new wife when you have children with another person. That’s especially true when the mother of your children was a longtime love, thus deserving extra respect. That goes for Johnny Depp, who trotted Amber Heard around the red carpet very shortly after his relationship ended with Vanessa Paradis, and though I have no idea if he was unfaithful, I certainly smell a rat in their timeline. As a second rule, if someone was good enough to marry, then perhaps refrain from leaking information to the press about how your family hated your wife. That says more about your personal judgment than it does about your partner. If you can’t properly pick em’, that’s on you, Johnny.

Ricky Gervais Hosts the 2012 Golden Globes — Kills It

As expected, Ricky Gervais delivered the goods at the 2012 Golden Globes. Though I found him to be a bit tamer than anticipated, he still took some much-loved jabs at Hollywood’s biggest stars, including Johnny Depp, whom Gervais asked if he’s seen The Tourist. Depp was a good sport, and confessed that he hadn’t. He also compared the Golden Globes to the Oscars only “without the esteem?” Watch below.

Johnny Depp Apologizes For Rape Comparison

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a man, then you’re familiar with the non-apology-apology that goes something like this — “I’m sorry that I upset you” or “I’m sorry for my role in it.” I’d like to publicly denounce that as the opposite of contrite. And now — over to Johnny Depp. In a recent interview, Depp equated photo-shoots to being raped (apparently, he learned nothing from Kristen Stewart). But unlike most men and celebrities in hot water, he gave a perfect apology that actually sounded remorseful. And in case boyfriends across America want to learn how it’s done, I’ve posted the quote below. Enjoy.

“I am truly sorry for offending anyone in any way. I never meant to. It was a poor choice of words on my part in an effort to explain a feeling,” Depp said in the statement. “I understand there is no comparison and I am very regretful. In an effort to correct my lack of judgment, please accept my heartfelt apology.”