1. Buy me tampons when I run out at the most inconvenient time ever.
2. Go to a specific gas station that exclusively carries my favorite brand of sunflower seeds.
3. Sign for those annoying packages that require someone’s presence.
4. Call the cable company to yell at them for my internet NEVER working.
5. Return all my ridiculous amazon purchases made during a night of insomnia.
6. Entertain all of my irrational fears by saying things like, “Good point” ad nauseam.
Watch Lowe’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel below, and feel free to chime in with ideas for your own imaginary assistant.