Rob Kardashian denies dating Meghan James. Bossip
Tiger Woods got a DUI. NYT
Amanda Seyfried is a happy mom. E! Online
Scott Disick is off the wagon. TMZ
A Bachelorette star landed in the hospital. Wetpaint
Taylor Swift and her new secret boyfriend are busted. ET
Bradley Cooper and Irina Shayk are going strong. Wonderwall
Mariah Carey reunited with her much-younger beau. Too Fab
Khloe Kardashian said her friend stole from her. Celebuzz
Chris Cornell’s toxicology report was released. Popsugar
Charlie Sheen has a new girlfriend. Dlisted
Kathy Griffin wants to kill her career. Billboard
Troy Aikman is engaged. Us Weekly
Sarah Silverman told ex Jimmy Kimmel, about life with love Michael Sheen. Vulture
Here’s the full statement from PwC, aka Price Waterhouse Cooper:
We sincerely apologize to Moonlight, La La Land, Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, and Oscar viewers for the error that was made during the award announcement for Best Picture. The presenters had mistakenly been given the wrong category envelope and when discovered, was immediately corrected. We are currently investigating how this could have happened, and deeply regret that this occurred. We appreciate the grace with which the nominees, the Academy, ABC, and Jimmy Kimmel handled the situation.
Now that we know the culprit, let’s analyze how it was handled. For starters, this is Warren Beatty’s third time presenting in this category. Jack Nicholson holds the record of eight, and Audrey Hepburn is second with four. Why do I mention this? Because the more seasoned you are at an activity, the less likely your brain is to shut down during a crisis. It’s not Beatty’s fault, but he knew something was wrong and panicked. Though he turned to Faye Dunaway for help, it was not clear that he was in fact asking for help, and Dunaway rattled off the winner without looking. TMZ also reveals that Dunaway and Beatty battled over who would announce the winner, and perhaps she rushed for fear that Beatty would steal the moment. I feel bad for Beatty, but I also feel he should be seasoned enough to handle a situation like this.
Next up? Reports suggest that there was immense backstage chaos when the mistake was revealed, and La La Land producer Jordan Horowitz said that he knew something was awry when someone ran up to him to ask for his envelope. After opening it, the mistake was confirmed and everyone seemed unable to function in the pressure-filled debacle. La La Land producer Fred Berger was the first to speak, saying, “We lost by the way but you know.” Berger was clearly disappointed, but his comment did nothing to move the moment forward, which needed to happen because Moonlight was the rightful winner, and as each second lapsed, they lost the opportunity to celebrate their win.
La La Land producer Jordan Horowitz came to the rescue, and immediately announced the mistake. He then graciously said he would be “really proud to give it to [his friends] from Moonlight.” As the crowd stood in disbelief and Kimmel, Beatty, and that frantic guy with a headset did relatively nothing, Horowitz quickly insisted it was not a joke, took the card from Warren Beatty’s hands and showed it to the audience as proof. Of the pivotal moment that proved his status as both a gentleman and a fixer, Horowitz said:
Listen, I’m a producer. I gather things together and I change directions and I march things forward. I had just finished saying how much love there was in the community and I want to do diverse and bold work, and so to be able to actually put that into action and make that physical by bringing those guys up onstage and giving them the award that they won…I don’t want to say it was an honor, because it was really confusing, [but it felt right].
There are a few lessons to be learned here. First, don’t get greedy. Just because you’ve been doing something for decades doesn’t mean you can tweet during the most important moment of your job. Second, this is Hollywood, not brain surgery, and there are very few professions that involve such insane indulgence. Oral surgeons don’t get awards for treating periodontal disease and though the Oscars are fun to watch, these Viola-Davis-style acceptance speeches are too grandiose to tolerate. The point? Let’s all take a step back and get some perspective. No one died. Third, to contradict point number two, I feel bad for the producers of La La Land, because they walked away with nothing. Sure the movie garnered Oscars, but not one for their specific role, which is a bummer. The fact that Horowitz could look out for his friends while processing his disappointment should be appreciated. Fourth, when something goes wrong, get your bearings, then speak up. And fifth, Jack Nicholson has to come back.
1. Buy me tampons when I run out at the most inconvenient time ever.
2. Go to a specific gas station that exclusively carries my favorite brand of sunflower seeds.
3. Sign for those annoying packages that require someone’s presence.
4. Call the cable company to yell at them for my internet NEVER working.
5. Return all my ridiculous amazon purchases made during a night of insomnia.
6. Entertain all of my irrational fears by saying things like, “Good point” ad nauseam.
Watch Lowe’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel below, and feel free to chime in with ideas for your own imaginary assistant.
Eva Longoria got married in Mexico. Wonderwall
This billionaire threw a tantrum when he was denied entry to Broadway’s ‘Hamilton.’ Jezebel
Behati Prinsloo bared her baby bump. E! Online
Chloe Sevigny has been hit on by sleezy directors. Contact Music
Robert Shapiro revealed what OJ Simpson whispered in his ear. Sheeple
‘Gilmore Girls” Alexis Bledel had a baby. Mtv
Bachelor Nation just welcomed another baby into the world. Hollywood Life
Dax Shepard got snipped, and Kristen Bell wasn’t happy about it. Babble
Lea Michele posted a heartbreaking Glee throwback. Teen Vogue
Kaley Cuoco is in love. Just Jared
Mel B. is renewing her vows. The Sun
‘Playboy’s’ Bridget Marquardt has her own take Kendra and Holly. Us Weekly
Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are Instagram official. Refinery29
If Kerry Washington knew that ‘Scandal’ would be held from the Fall schedule over her pregnancy, she certainly proved her acting prowess on Jimmy Kimmel, where she was joined by Shonda Rhimes for a will-Olivia-Pope-Be-Pregnant Q & A. This is a surprising move, but perhaps it reflects Washington’s desire for maternity leave. You won’t see any tears from The Dishmaster, though. Scandal has become far too dark for my enjoyment as of late. It’s tough to root for completely evil, sociopaths who show zero signs of remorse. In short, Washington still speaks to her father, who killed the President’s son, and she’s currently pursuing a man that killed his wife’s father for the inheritance. If there’s any attempt to justify that behavior with “he was following orders to save his own life,” that would indeed be the Nuremberg Defense, and it was dismissed in Nazi Germany.
Justin Theroux had a boring bachelor party. MTV
Carrie Underwood is keeping her marriage intact. Daily Mail
Kim Kardashian cancelled her baby shower while the family cares for Lamar Odom. Refinery29
Josh Hartnett walked the red carpet with his pregnant girlfriend. Just Jared
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are good friends. E! Online
Hayden Panettiere entered treatment for postpartum depression. Today
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are having a child. Us Magazine
Scott Disick went to rehab. Us Mag
Raven Symone has some serious apologizing to do. Fish Wrapper
‘Jersey Shore’s’ JWOWW tied the knot. In Touch
Selena Gomez has lupus. E! Online
UFC fighter Ronda Rousey has a boyfriend. Yahoo
Cindy Crawford is still seriously hot. TMZ
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger are writing new music, despite their divorce. Digital Spy
Justin Bieber feels violated over his nude photos. PopSugar
Kate Hudson and Nick Jonas are still going strong. EOnline
Laverne Cox is beautiful without makeup. Bustle
Jimmy Kimmel debuted his daughter. Wonderwall